This morning brought the following email from a guy named Trevor, who writes, “What follows is the complete text of a bulletin I’ve gotten several times over the last week from several different senders and from several different sources. I believe the points made within to be valid and worthy of print. Please give it your consideration.”

For your consideration:

This is NOT a joke. Terror approaches. A horror that far surpasses even that which is unimaginable and beyond time and space. Something SO vile and unspeakable that IT MUST BE STOPPED before it tears through the very fabric of reality and becomes real itself. No, I do not speak of Nartholeptep, Cyäegha, Shub-Niggurath, or any of the multitude of Old Ones and Elder Gods. This previously unthinkable vileness has been birthed by man. Brought forth by the MOST loathsome individuals with no regard or respect for origins. Friends, comrades, brothers…. I speak of this and this. I have come to the conclusion that this all MUST be a not-so-clever attempt at marketing. It would appear that regardless of the title “Cthulhu”, the film in question, is in fact mostly derived from the short story “Shadow over Innsmouth” and has been retooled to include overtly gay themes. From the Wired.com article: “Got all that? Gay people are like inbred fish monsters who worship Dagon. I mean, not that I disagree, I’m just amazed to finally find someone short of Jack Chick who is brave enough to say it. Hey, Dotinga! You should be taking some notes. [Jack Chick is the kind hearted christian behind EVERY religious tract you’ve ever been handed on the street.] ….But how qualified are the film-makers to film the unfilmable? Well, screenwriter Grant Cogswell is the man who spearheaded the Seattle monorail project. And this sort of quote is sure to put the bellows to your enthusiasm for Cthulhu: ‘When we started this, we were new to horror, and we didn’t really respect the genre.’ ” Great. It’s ALREADY insulting to Lovecraft fans AND homosexuals.

I shall repeat myself. It is NOT a joke. The Stranger broke this story in 2005. It was NOT a joke then either. It IS, in fact, slated to start shooting in Seattle NEXT week. (The Stranger article from 2005 states the same, but, production was apparently pushed back until now.)

My hate is obviously not sparked by the inclusion of “gay themes” but by the apparent lack of respect for H. P. Lovecraft, his creations, and the culture they have spawned.

The short story “Shadow Over Innsmouth” only briefly mentions Cthulhu, almost in passing - a footnote, and has far more to do with the Marsh family, a group of Deep Ones, and Dagon.

Not only does the film bear the name of Cthulhu, but yet shows NO evidence AT ALL of having anything AT ALL to do with Cthulhu himself (rather Dagon), but this appears to be nothing more than an attempt to follow in the success of the 2005 release of “Call of Cthulhu” directed by Andrew Leman, and I have yet to actually see ANY evidence that either screenwriter Grant Cogswell or director Dan Gildark have any qualifications for making a homosexually themed film aside from “we have gay friends” and even less evidence that either is qualified to make a Lovecraft themed film.

WHO IN SEATTLE DOESN’T HAVE GAY FRIENDS?!?

I have several and I’ll wager that, if you’re aware of it or not, you do to. Yet I make no claims to be qualified to create publicly displayed “art” in regards to the lives they lead or personal experiences they’ve had. In turn, if I was not a fan of something and knew only a few people who were, I would NOT be so bold as to assume I could actually see a return on the money put into making a *very expensive* piece of art in an obvious attempt to cash in on that which I seem to know nothing about.

Unless, of course, I planned to simply scam a legion of fans AND a legion of people leading sexually alternative lifestyles. Specifically at gay and lesbian film festivals that have been increasingly more popular and in fact easier and cheaper to enter a film into.

I don’t want Seattle to become known as the city that killed Lovecraft… or even simply made him roll over in his grave. Enough undeniably crap movies have been made from his stories and a few good ones too. From everything I can ascertain this film is potentially the steaming king of the crap heap. I implore anyone who’s taken the time to read this to pass it on to others and take action if a filming location is discovered by making it’s location public knowledge.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

~Thank You.

Setting aside the fact that these inflamed Lovecraft purists are a bit slow on the uptake (Cthulu wrapped filming almost a year ago), this letter still deserves more mockery that I can supply alone. So, please, help me.

(For the record, screenwriter Grant is a friend, but I’ve seen nothing of Cthulu beyond the proto-trailer, and have no knowledge of its quality as a film. Still, regarding the “threat” to Lovecraft: any writer worth his or her salt can easily survive even the funkiest/klutziest/least respectful screen adaptation (see the film of Gore Vidal’s Myra Breckenridge, or don’t). And the letter-writer’s passionate inclusion of Lovecraft crypto-speak is simply icing on the cake.)

So have at it! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!