I'm tempted to make a snarky comment about how the qualifications for an editor might include the ability to spell and compose grammatically correct sentences, but then I realized I'm talking about the Stranger...
Janie seems uniquely qualified for the Stranger!
Step 1: Smoke your driver's license.
Man, if it was that easy to get a job at the stranger we'd all be working there by now.
I'd have to say step 2 would be to bring your gun to work so Dan could get stoned and walk around city hall with your gun. THAT'S the real deal breaker.
Dan, just tell Janie to make lots and lots of comments to SLOG. The work is precisely like writing articles for The Stranger, and it pays almost as well if you don't count benefits, right?
This letter reminds me of the high school student who wrote in wanting to get published. I'd say that Janie needs to be persistent to the point of nagging, and smoke pot. What happened with that high school student?
Yeah, what did happen with her?
greatfully. man, i love kids.
I'd say Janie needs to start writing articles about how driving cars is bad for the environment.
In order to get a first hand view, she should drive all over the country, posting from her car, via laptop.
This is very important, she should write that she only rides a bike and everyone else should as well. Those who do drive are ignorant scum. This should be, of course, written from the laptop in her car of course.
RE: the laptop, the wireless signal must always be stolen from "conformist scumsbags" who pay for the sercvice. Again, not to beat a dead horse but. Janie should drive through neighborhoods of single family homes trolling for unsecured wireless connections in her car. This is realatively risk free as the occupants will more than likely be at their offices. Also, the laptiop should eitrher be stolen or a gift from her parents.
The car should be either a beat up old Volvo or Subaru wagon (Do I need to mention there must be a Free Tibet stciker on the back). Again, it should be a gift from her parents.
She should also preach fist fucking & dope smoking to a group of preschoolers. When pointed out that this topic might not be appropriate to children, Janie should in a most sarcastic manner, Criticze the Following:
1. Jesus Christ, Jesus (spanish translation of Hey Zeus), the guy on the cross, JC, the Big Guy, s well as the stoned variation of "cheese and Rice".
2. Her parents... They are the root of all this.
3. Her Uncle (In reality: the guy just sent her checks for the Holidays and birthdays) but her first story about this guy should be how he made her give him head at a fictional family bar-b-que.
4. Bush - like all the above he should be blamed for many things and frequently.
Also, only reprt opinions, never fact check, never have sources (but report them as "unidentied" - as in an unidentified source in the mayors office supports my story).
Yep... That should get her on staff by the end of the week.
Good Question, please learn how to spell. I mean, think about the children! And another question: WHY do we have to give out our e-mail addresses??
And one other thing GQ; some of us "liberals" actually do not drive or own a car by choice. (I bus everywhere) And you maybe shocked to find that most of us work "real jobs" (I am an accountant in downtown Seattle). Not only that I pay for my own wireless service and donate money on a regular basis to a variety of charities. (And my donations are done through out the year, not at Christmas time like some people I could name). Not only that, if you ever saw me on the street you would probably think I was a straight male republican and not the gay male liberal that I am. So stop the bashing on the Stanger staff. If you had some courage you would start your own newspaper.
Oh Andrew, relax, geez. GQ wrote a delightful expose of the Stranger's staff with amusements for everybody. The only thing GQ left out was that everyone is required to pay homage to the portrait of William Randolph Hearst that hangs over Dan's desk.
Not to be a wet blanket or anything, but why do you keep posting these things, Dan? These people asking for your time and concern when their abilities are so far even from entry level are young and/or naive and/or ignorant, but none of those is a sin. I love reading The Stranger exactly because you dish out snark, outrage, irony, and criticism in such a witty way, but you have so many more deserving targets than this kid.
I'll bet you knew by the time you were twelve that you could write better than most people. Didn't your mama teach you not to mock the differently-abled?
Step 2: Embrace your inner squirrel.
13: I think he was inviting us to make fun of The Stranger, not the kid. ;)
1. Why DO we need to give out our email addresses?
2. What happened to the high school girl?
Step #3: Go to the bible belt and preform illegal sodomy in five states. Hell, make it seven states.
So yeah, this girl is a total dumbass, but don't we all remember a time when we thought achieving our dream career meant going through a checklist of accomplishments? See, getting that dream job at The Stranger is just like completing your liberal arts degree, instead of classes though you must complete the following steps: blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah.
I’m not worried, disillusionment and cynicism take time to develop, and you don’t want to rush that kind of thing. It takes lots of little kicks to create the perfect combination of cleverness and sarcasm to go with your utter disgust for life and the people who live it. One big kick and you just end up in long-term inpatient psychiatric care.
When she graduates and realizes that the only place that is ever hiring in Seattle is Starbucks, she will have plenty of time during breaks to read about anal sex, and look at the dinky cartoons she once dreamed of placing in just the right spot on each page. After that, she can mock it for grammatical errors, and post pretentious comments on The Slog. We (the underemployed) call that settling.
CB -- Someday you'll own your own sail boat, man.
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