Nelson -- though I loved the guy because he could throw the ball like a frisbee, he sadly turned into the very hittable dickhole who started a fight with a Red Sox groundskeeper in which Nelson was witnessed, among other things "flaring his legs".

Weaver, we need you. I mean, I'm sure you took a look at our roster. Just be sour and nasty like last year and show these kids here how to get it going.

OK Chicago Fan, dammit, I'm going with your guys on Sunday. I've never been a Manning fan, and I like how Grossman talks with his hands like they're partially full of overflowed feelings that don't get explained all the way in the words, and can win big games when everyone's top-tanking him because that's the most perfectest kind of statistical-type story for the bored and lame media to raise up as the next possibly leaden, possibly golden calf. Only the actual playing of the game itself will reveal the answers to all of these questions posed by the media. Imagine that.

CF, may the Bears prove God's most obsequious of teams wrong! Bears disappoint Heaven with win over the extremely devout Colts! A rich lesson that would be indeed.