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Wednesday, January 3, 2007

…And Robertson Sayeth We Are Screwed (Again)

posted by on January 3 at 9:52 AM

God has once again spoken to Pat Robertson, and the outlook for America is bleak:

Evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday that God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would cause a “mass killing” late in 2007.

“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” he said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

Before you write Robertson off as batshitcrazy, consider this:

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America’s coastline in 2006.

Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring’s heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

Start praying now, heathens!

RSS icon Comments

1

God told me there would be weather... can I have a church now?

Posted by Batshitty | January 3, 2007 10:14 AM
2

God told ME that Pat Robertson is an asshat.

Posted by monkey | January 3, 2007 10:14 AM
3

god told me there would be flooding in the floodplains this year...

where's my damn tv show?

Posted by seattle98104 | January 3, 2007 10:15 AM
4

What's worse, Robertson saying it or the media taking the bait and reporting it?

Ignore it.

Posted by Jeff | January 3, 2007 10:16 AM
5

God told me that a tall good looking guy with a large penis will nail me every night this year. He already has proven to have lied to me for two nights already. God is a liar!!!

Posted by Andrew | January 3, 2007 10:22 AM
6

I recently heard a comedian point out that god sent an angel to talk to the mother of his only son, why would he take the time to speak directly to Robertson? Is he better than the Virgin Mary??

And it is pretty horrible that this is CNN's website.

Posted by Wondering Willa | January 3, 2007 10:57 AM
7

Well, a teeny-tiny 5-foot tsunami *did* hit Crescent City, CA in November last year. So of course Pat will consider his prediction of "mass killing" in the U.S. fulfilled, as long as someone is killed somewhere in the U.S. sometime in 2007.

Posted by Thel | January 3, 2007 11:15 AM
8

No, we NEED to take note of every one of Robertson's batshitcrazy pronouncements, just so we can throw all of them back in his face at the end of the year. Do that a few times and THEN we can start to ignore him, since by then we'll have proven that God's track record is in reality pretty abysmal.

Posted by COMTE | January 3, 2007 11:17 AM
9
“The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

Obviously, the Lord said, "Nucular," because he talks to our president, too.

Posted by horatiosanzserif | January 3, 2007 11:40 AM
10

God told me that tax cuts for the ultra-rich is against His Son's policy of overturning money changer's tables in Temple - can we end that farce?

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 3, 2007 1:06 PM
11

Why legitimize this crap by even mentioning it? Unless, of course, you fear he actually does talk to God. Do you?

Posted by BD | January 3, 2007 1:53 PM
12

So since his predictions only half-assedly come to pass, we should expect, say, a mobster's home gas line to blow up in Chicago or something, and that'll be the fulfillment of the prophesy?

No wait... al Qaeda puts aluminum foil in the microwave and sets it to cook. THAT's what he meant by 'nuclear'!

Posted by Gomez | January 3, 2007 11:44 PM

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