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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

American Idol Disses Seattle

posted by on January 10 at 12:18 PM

You know how when you call your mom a fat ass, it’s hilarious, but if someone else does it’s war? That’s totally how I feel about this Entertainment Weekly article, in which the folks of American Idol trash the Pacific Northwest.

As EW’s Jessica Shaw writes of American Idol’s new season:

Brace yourself for some new lows. ”Season 6 has the most delusional people I’ve ever seen,” says [Paula] Abdul. ”If people love that part of the show, they’ll love this season.” And they’ll be positively besotted with the city of Seattle, which [exec producer Nigel] Lythgoe says ”stands out as possibly the worst city I’ve ever seen for crazies. Maybe they’re drinking too much coffee.”

Granted, the Pacific Northwest is packed with impressive crazies, along with countless casualties of the “if you can dream it, you can do it” school of positive affirmation (dreaming about Beyonce does not enable you to sing like Beyonce, tragically). Nevertheless, fuck Nigel Lythgoe and Paula Abdul and every other American Idol fuck for bad-mouthing my hometown’s talent pool. I hate to think of Seattle’s wonderfully deluded and talented freaks wasting their gifts on those fucks from Fox.

It kinda makes me miss Pizzazz!

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Wow, so the self-selecting pool of singers who think that their big break is going to come from going all the way on American Idol consists mostly of delusional amateurs and not seasoned, stage-savvy performers of professional caliber? Color me shocked.

Posted by flamingbanjo | January 10, 2007 12:23 PM

I can't believe we spent a TON of money trying to come up with a slogan for this city...metronatural?

Please! The truth of the matter is that Seattle should be known as "WANK CITY" because this town is full of wankers....

Cheers to American Idol for putting it in print for the rest of the country to see...

Posted by sir wank-a-lot | January 10, 2007 12:40 PM

Maybe those of us with talent wouldn't bother showing up for such a show ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 10, 2007 12:44 PM

Crazies in Seattle... huh, who woulda' thunk that? But hey, a Californian from the Hollywood, City of Angels is obviously more than qualified to be a judge in a crazy contest.

Posted by Seattle: My Kind Of City | January 10, 2007 12:45 PM

You mean Seattle ISN'T the place to move for the aspiring teen pop star? CRAZY! That producer must be right, it's all that coffee! Dish!

You know, if it were the Gong Show, Seattle would be untouchable, and I mean that endearingly.

Posted by Dougsf | January 10, 2007 12:49 PM

@2. Full of wankers, yes. But they're our wankers.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | January 10, 2007 1:10 PM

Seattle a crazy place....nah not at all :-)

I'm a native so I can say this....I think their comments were right on. In addition to crazies, we have the highest depression rate in the country and also the highest MS diagnosed rate - huh, wonder why?

Rather sitting around and bitching about, I intend to finally get out of this godforsaken place.


Posted by LeoR | January 10, 2007 1:13 PM

Let me get this straight... Paula "Pass the Vicoden" Abdul is calling Seattlites crazy?

Oh, wait... Paula "How about a shot of vodka to wash down this Oxyconten" Abdul is calling Seattlites delusional?

Well Paula "Percoset" Abdul, I have five words for you... PROMISE OF A NEW DAY. Yeah, that's right. Delusional, indeed. You got a little drool on your chin, btw.

*spelling errors were intentional to make it past the stranger spam filter*

Posted by monkey | January 10, 2007 1:14 PM

Any serious singer in Seattle already has a gig. They don't need to appear on American Idol.

They should of held casting in Spokane.

Posted by elswinger | January 10, 2007 1:20 PM

maybe the Idol folks need to remember that they only select 4-5 major cities around the country to audition in. Everyone in the country travels to those cities for tryouts.

I wonder how many of the delusional wannabees and crazies they reference actually call Seattle home and how many traveled here from podunk U.S.A to give it a go.


Posted by ddv | January 10, 2007 1:22 PM

I'm with Will In Seattle: People around here who are truly interesting and actually have talent appear to have the sense not to try out for such a solipsistic and banal television program.

Posted by treacle | January 10, 2007 1:23 PM

It should also be mentioned that Paula Abdul had sex with Emilio Estevez for several years and STILL didn't get a role in Bobby.

But beyond that, I think the American Idol folks are using "crazies" in a non-clinical way--I imagine the crazies they're talking about are auditioners who showed up in gorilla costumes or did "fire performance" or whatever.

Then again, maybe they're talking about a guy who showed up with a battered cardboard sign to sing an original song about the evils of the SPD and the Frye Apartments...

Posted by David Schmader | January 10, 2007 1:27 PM

I love that "Seattle Police is Communist" guy! I would give a nut to see him appear before the judges.

Seattle is just not an American Idol kinda place. and i like it that way. Better luck finding the next craptastic pop sensation in a vapid wasteland like Houston, or Tampa, or... well not Seattle anyway.

Posted by longball | January 10, 2007 1:40 PM

#2 has stumbled onto true awesomeness.

WANK CITY encompasses everything worth being proud of *and* everything that sucks about this town. Furthermore, the slogan would piss off all the right people in all the right ways.

I'm proud to call my hometown WANK CITY. The best fucking city ever. (wank)

Posted by nonrandomname | January 10, 2007 2:09 PM

Since the one surefire way to get on TV via American Idol is to be horrifically bad in your audition, Seattle was actually far superior to other cities in talent, no? A huge percentage of the most talented people are screened out before auditioning for the three celebrity judges because they don't fit the mold AI is going for that season. But lots of the crazies make it on the show. So the fact that Seattle had more crazies shows that it knows what the producers want, and gives it to them in spades. That's talent, that's Seattle!

Posted by skinny | January 10, 2007 2:15 PM

People from the show can say what they will, I'm sure they did see their share of loonies at the tryouts. Maybe that's because only lunatics would get involved with a craptastic show that forces you to sign away your career and sell your soul just for a chance at being a A&R run monkey if you win? Do you think that the finalists from that show really want to spend several years doing the American Idol tour circuit rather than step out on their own after being seen on a nationwide show? Sorry Nigel, our wannabe sellouts have already moved to LA or NY, look for them there.

Posted by contracts | January 10, 2007 2:18 PM

There is one Seattle-ite in the top 24. He'll do well... I've seen him sing many times.

Posted by brad | January 10, 2007 2:22 PM

Screw American Idol.

I haven't watched one show.

Posted by truthseeker | January 10, 2007 2:22 PM

A Brief List Of Seattle "Crazies" Who, Despite Being From Seattle (Or Thereabouts), Had Major Singing Careers (in no particular order):

Marnie Nixon - the World's Greatest Uncredited Movie Musical Diva

Bing Crosby - Spokane, close enough

Jimi Hendrix - known more for blowing up guitars, but still

Kenny Loggins - Everett - represent!

Judy Collins

Robert Cray

Martha Wright

Stacie Orrico

Patrice Munsel - opera counts, right?

Ann & Nancy Wilson

And this doesn't count the many, many "Crazy" singers of note who, while not born in these parts have once called, or now call Seattle home, people like Ray Charles, Steve Miller, Dave Matthews, Kurt Cobain, Eddie Vedder, Michael Stipe and on and on and on...

Posted by COMTE | January 10, 2007 2:42 PM

Patsy Cline lived in Spokane too.

Posted by monkey | January 10, 2007 2:54 PM

It's clear that Pizzazz! must be resurrected to show Paula, Simon, Randy and our viewers at home what kind of crazy Seattle really is.

Posted by Explorer | January 10, 2007 3:01 PM

Simon Cowell thinks Bob Dylan sucks, so, you know, the best thing that could probably happen is for Waylon Jennings to suggest that he wishes for the American Idol plane to crash.

Actually, wouldn't that be awesome if all the waste-of-carbon people associated with that show died in an ultra-violent manner? We could even hold a text-message vote to determine the grisly details.

Are you not...entertained?

Posted by Fritz | January 10, 2007 3:04 PM

I bet they would die if a WTO mime took the stage.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | January 10, 2007 3:20 PM

We really really really really really need a Puttin' On The Hitz 2007, pronto. Same host, too. Yes, that highly creepy blond perm'ed guy with the wide jaw.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | January 10, 2007 3:23 PM

I couldn't be happier that Seattle will be spotlighted nationally as a city without talent.

Everything between and away from NYC and LA is just flyover, remember.


Posted by matthew fisher wilder | January 10, 2007 3:35 PM

and don't fergit about them amerikan idolatrous voters passed on dreamgirls star fatty jennifer hudson which i hope she references and snaps during her acceptance speech at the upcoming oscars..

Posted by riz | January 10, 2007 6:08 PM

Did anyone see Paula Abdul on Fox 13 this morning (1/11)? She was out of her gord. I checked youtube but couldn't find the video. It has to be up there soon.

Posted by mbs | January 11, 2007 12:50 PM

highest depression rate in the country and also the highest MS diagnosed rate - huh, wonder why?

Lack of sun. Mainstream medicine is finally noticing the link between lack of Vitamin D and multiple sclerosis.

Posted by keshmeshi | January 11, 2007 3:45 PM

And I quote myself as I often do!

"Once again American Id-hole has further cheapend anything and everything related to real vocalists and real musicians."

"Most young American music consumers are too uniformed and poorly influenced and have no other choice but to eat this force fed and marketed million dollar slock."

"What's most unfortunate is that the creatively absent young auditioners are not aware of anything real and want the easiest path to stardom and then predictably meltdown when they are told the truth."

It's ohhh sooo gooood for ratings!

"Simon, being the brilliant a-hole that he is, is at least honest with the pretend-world idiots of Seattle (or anywhere) and he's just like any big label producer today. They will buy your soul, only because it's for sale."

"This show if for those who like to slow down in traffic to watch someone elses' tragedy."

"American Idol has become the new age religion for the drive-thru wannabe pop stars of the 21st Century."

"The famous slippery plastic shallow corridor to fame just got greased, from behind."

Posted by forwhatitsworth | January 17, 2007 6:39 AM

ive seen some strange things. groin up in the bay, you go to the city(frisco)and there are wierd people in the street. but ive also been to seattle.these folks are crazy. its cool near pikes place, they sell these lil donuts, but people there are wierd, n freakish,. they drive real slowwwwww. thers so many wanabee thugs,and its real small.i think it about the size of union square in s.f... plus alot of people there just seemed to not be on the ball.basically i met a bunch of geeked out cats, n some fake a ss thugs.
to wrapp it up, seattle is boring, but i will i agree"i like big butts"

Posted by alex408san jo | January 18, 2007 1:14 PM
Posted by child | January 18, 2007 6:15 PM
Posted by aishwarya rai | January 19, 2007 8:14 PM

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