Is this really fair? The squirrels don't have a blog. How are they supposed to compete?
Always vote Squirrels!
The squirrels have a far better canvassing operation. They're out there, all over town, hitting the pavement as we speak. Great field operation. Slog? They're all in the Stranger's offices all day long, getting paler and paler. No field operation whatsoever. I'd say it's a draw.
The question has already been posed as to how Squirrels could possibly compete in this poll vs. Slog.
I suspected, leading up to this match-up, that the Squirrels' allies, relatives and admirers must be the ones to come forward to defend them.
I've suggested previously that Raccoons -- the veritable SUV of the Squirrel -- would step in to register their support. This must be true, seeing the current status of the poll.
But is this it? Is this all?
With the type of human encroachment that the human-populated Slog along with its dedicated minions could perpetuate against the vulnerable Squirrel via this poll, perhaps another creature -- a relative of the little grey beast -- who suffered greatly at the human hands of expanding Western agriculture, might feel fraternal solidarity and would scamper forth to cast its die on the side of Squirrel.
Witness the Black-Tailed Prairie Dog:
Squirrels - the kind in Seattle - have benefited greatly from the westward expansion of the US. The fat little beasts displaced our native squirrels which can still be seen and heard in the few remaining old growth and mature second growth forests. For the sake of our native squirrels vote SLOG and send a message to those imperialistic Eastern Grey Squirrels.
One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the squirrels will soon be in power. And I for one welcome our new rodent overlords.
Resistance is FUTILE! You will all be crushed by the mighty force of the Squirrelian Empire! We will throw pine cones on your heads and destroy your property with acorns! Many of your leaders will cry out that the end is near and it is all because you have become a nation of boys kissing boys standing along with unwed mothers. And in that confusion we will use the power of our cuteness to take over your military and destory all of you! Grovel before us!! Kiss our furry paws!! And please remember to recycle!
Slog is taking the lead...VOTE SQUIRREL
The Olympic Mountain Marmot, peninsular relative to the non-native Seattle Squirrel (in your face! non-native Seattle Human Slogger), toting tiny backpack, employing walking twig, hastening to town to vote Squirrel:
Fear not Squirrel! Our numbers will grow and then we will strike at the last possible moment, crushing the Slog enemy!!! Yes, victory is ours !!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Screw all this faux-voting. Too much "democracy" ruins democracy. I'm for the squirrels anyway. At least I can make stew out of them if the going gets tough. Best I can hope for from the Stranger staff are confused attempts at homosexual prostitution.
Trust me, the Marmot approaches. As does the Chipmunk, with credentials a propros to vote for his brethren, Squirrel.
another one of these lame ass "elections"? wtf? perhaps you guys could make up some news if that helps fill your time.
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