Ummm… Is It Britney and Paris?
posted by December 5 at 9:51 AM
onIn today’s Page Six gossip column, they are running what is perhaps the most obvious “blind item” EVER. Aren’t the point of these things to disguise the situation enough to protect the paper from lawsuits? Well, check out this sordid tale of cocaine and lesbianism for yourself!
WHICH recently separated celeb has a new habit to go along with her new friends? The cutie is spending way too much time in the bathroom of the many clubs she visits, hoovering down cocaine that her pals supply her with … WHICH hard-partying Hollywood starlet has club cocktail waitresses fueling rumors of rehab by whispering that the actress cuts her coke with strawberry Quik? … WHICH new pair of best friends are actually more? When they get back to their hotels or homes, the clothes come off.
WOW. I wonder who they’re talking about. How about a couple more clues: And WHICH former pop star that we’re talking about also has a Caesarian scar that runs above the vagina she was flashing all last week? And WHICH pal in question has a name that rhymes with “Blarest Schmilton”?
(Though I will admit I didn’t know that Britney likes strawberry Quik. I do too!)
Comments
No one can say no to Quik. I knew there was something strange about that rabbit.
Last week it was Linsy Lohan now it is Brittany Spears.
We should not be giving these talentless creeps any attention at all. They only make headlines when intentionally doing something stupid like going out in public, singing or acting.
Clarification - attempting to sing or act.
Britney's a great pop artist, y'all. Swamp trash, yes, but that's not her fault. The cooter-waving, that's her fault.
I gotta ask, though, the Quik goes up the NOSE? That just doesn't sound nice to me AT ALL.
Is Britney a gal pal away from Courtney Love's careful mentoring?
I know you're not allowed to dislike Brtiney Spears, but I've never understood the attraction and well, look at that picture of her. That chick is a boner killer. Sorry. She looks like Der Svedish Chef from The Muppets or something. Nice protruding forhead. Piltdown Man much?
Paris however is pretty hot and funny in a vapid, plank figured, "What are you famous for again?" kind of way.
The attraction is not her Piltdown forehead, or even her flapping labia; it's the perverted genius of her pop songs. Of course, she's a total has-been now, but she once WAS. Those swamp gals peak early, about 16 (or four years after they usually get married).
People actually like Strawberry Quik? Maybe if you mix it with cocaine it doesn't smell like vomit.
Am I the only one who thinks her recent bout with Cooter-flashing was a little contrived? Does your career really need help that bad? Just accept the fact that you're no longer a relevant pop artist, stay low for a few years, and then pose for Playboy when you really need the money.
Ha! Best news I have read this week so far. If any two people in the world deserve each other, it's those two.
i thought this story couldn't get any better, what with all the flashing, cocaine and girl on girl action - but strawberry quik?
that shit is the hotness.
I had to look at that picture twice because it looked like Britney was wearing a big gold "TMZ" barrette the first time.
You weren't alone Matt.
Strawberry Quik isn't of the nestle variety... it's designer coke - strawberry flavoured stuff that used to be huge in the early 80s.
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