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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Soy is a Devil Food That Makes You Gay

posted by on December 12 at 12:06 PM

So says James Rutz, chairman of Megashift Ministries, who has an astounding editorial today on the conservative news site WorldNetDaily.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t homosexual.” No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can’t remember a time when excess estrogen wasn’t influencing them.

“This isn’t just some goofy fringe news site,” writes AmericaBlog’s John Avarosis. “It’s…a site that all the right-wing pundits use as a source for their daily vitriol.” Read the entire, amazing, funnier-than-The Onion-but-real editorial here.

RSS icon Comments

1

Man, you just can't make this shit up anymore. It's gotten impossible to even satirize the whackjob fundy fruitbats. WorldNutDaily is now officially funnier than The Onion.

Posted by Geni | December 12, 2006 12:12 PM
2

I gotta admit, everytime I eat tofu I hear Erasure very faintly in the background.

Posted by Fnarf | December 12, 2006 12:13 PM
3

Yes, soy is our problem. That's why you see so much gay sex in feedlots (where cows are fattened with soybeans) and fast food places (where the frying oil is often soybean oil).

And look at Asia, where they practically live on soy! China is nothing but queers. That population of 1 billion is thanks to turkey basters, not natural heterosexual sex.

Yup. Soy is destroying the world. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have some trans fats and wash them down with a big glass of high fructose corn syrup, because not doing so means the terrorists have already won.

Posted by dw | December 12, 2006 12:18 PM
4

This ad paid for by the US Dairy Farmers Association.

Posted by Justin J | December 12, 2006 12:20 PM
5

cause a man drinking a frothy white substance from an animals phalic utter ... isn't gay?

Posted by seattle98104 | December 12, 2006 12:22 PM
6

What can you say? Mind: blown.

Posted by shaggy | December 12, 2006 12:23 PM
7

DAMN!!! Yet ANOTHER part of the homosexual agenda leaked. We really need to do something to stop the leaking of sensative information like this.

It's getting harder and harder to convert children and the weak minded to homosexuality. Soy was our secret weapon. If people stop consuming soy products, well, we're screwed.

Let's just hope they don't figure out the affects of beer on "straight" frat boys.

Posted by monkey | December 12, 2006 12:30 PM
8

There is a miniscule grain of truth to this, that soy can increase estrogen levels. If you eat a shit ton of it. But, since when did estrogen make you gay?

Posted by vegetarian | December 12, 2006 12:32 PM
9

Re: #8: Yeah, the bottom line of this bullshit argument is that anything "feminine" is inherently evil, which is some seriously old-school fucked-up garden-of-eden shit.

Posted by David Schmader | December 12, 2006 12:35 PM
10

megashift's web site = super-creepy.

Did you know that people have recently risen from the dead in 52 countries?

Posted by Levislade | December 12, 2006 12:51 PM
11

"...commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis..."

This can't possibly be a nefarious gay plot. We would have corrected this little side effect.

Posted by JD | December 12, 2006 12:52 PM
12

Did you hear that "truthiness" is Webster's Word of the Year? By 5:1, Steven Colbert's definition won...

http://m-w.com/info/06words.htm

Now if their thesaurus would only reference the synonym phrase “bull shit” I can rest easy.

Posted by Phenics | December 12, 2006 12:53 PM
13

Also, soy caused the Holocaust.

True story.

Posted by stan | December 12, 2006 12:59 PM
14

Remember when flouridated water was the stuff that turned people into homos? Those were the days.

Posted by Matt from Denver | December 12, 2006 1:01 PM
15

And not quiche? What about Hostess Snowballs? Now tofu also huh?

And how about eating a banana in public… no word on that yet I see, but I have my suspicions.

Posted by The Peanut Gallery | December 12, 2006 1:01 PM
16

Soy bears the mark of the beast in its genome.

Posted by seattle98104 | December 12, 2006 1:01 PM
17

Bananas were designed by god and prove that ID is the truth.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4472004596147265716&sourceid=docidfeed&hl=en

Posted by seattle98104 | December 12, 2006 1:05 PM
18

Woo hoo!
Thanks for posting this guys. I am hoping the world reaction will be so crazy, so over the top, that it actually makes one Christian somewhere stop and blush.
The only question left is whether it's on the Daily Show tonight or tomorrow...

Posted by torrentprime | December 12, 2006 1:05 PM
19

The editorial is obviously talking about gay men. But what about all those vegetarian lesbians? Wouldn't all that feminizing soy have the reverse effect, and make 'em straight?

Posted by joan | December 12, 2006 1:09 PM
20

The wrong wingers have officially jumped the shark. If anything, we need to be encouraging these kinds of deranged, psychotic fantasies because it exposes them as the Everyone Thinks We're Insanos' Home Journal subscribers that they are. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

I assume he has stacks of scientifically reviewed nutritional and bio-psychological analyses to back up these statements.

On another topic, why is it that our nation's craziest citizens feel compelled to be our leaders?

Posted by Original Andrew | December 12, 2006 1:11 PM
21

On second thought, he may have just overheard a Spanish speaker say “soy homosexual,” put two and two together and ta-dah!

James W Rutz Investigates!

Posted by Original Andrew | December 12, 2006 1:14 PM
22

Just for the record, a male vegan friend of mine in college started growing a breast sophomore year -- at first he thought it was a cancer lump, but the doctor said no, it's a breast, have you been eating a ton of soy?

So soy didn't make him gay, but it almost made him feminine.

Posted by s.mirk | December 12, 2006 1:22 PM
23

Just one breast? Right, left, or someplace entirely unexpected (the middle of the back, say)?

Posted by Fnarf | December 12, 2006 1:41 PM
24

The devil didn't make me do it! The beans did! Oh wait, are we talking about passing gas or being a fag?

Wonder what happens when all those good bible lovin farmers in the bread belt get wind of this. Soy has become a major cash crop for them. Sounds lake some one needs to give the farmers association a call.

Posted by kmug | December 12, 2006 1:44 PM
25

Um, I loath soy, and never knowingly touch the stuff. And I'm as gay as Liberace (though not nearly as closeted). There is something wrong with their theory.

Posted by SDA in SEA | December 12, 2006 1:51 PM
26

S. Mirk @ 22,

Oh please. I’ve been a vegetarian for almost ten years and I’m in great shape with none of the “feminine” side effects.

Just walk out on the street and you’ll be greeted by plenty of meat eaters with man boobs.

Your friend needs to eat a balanced diet and exercise.

Duh.

Posted by Original Andrew | December 12, 2006 2:04 PM
27

Well, I've been eating tofu since age 14 and eating pussy as a lesbian since 16. Does soy have an opposite affect on us ladies?

Posted by veggie dyke | December 12, 2006 2:34 PM
28

And in real life news, a recent study showed that soy supplements can actually make men more aggressive.

Posted by keshmeshi | December 12, 2006 2:36 PM
29

..ly gay.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 12, 2006 2:56 PM
30

I'm allergic to soy, it sucks. Soy is in so many things. For as many things as soy is in we should all be gay by now and have a nice set of D cups.

Posted by ky | December 12, 2006 3:12 PM
31

With or without soy, you'd probably be surprised by the number of men that exhibit some growth of their breast tissue during their high school and early college years.

Posted by Dr. Mercola | December 12, 2006 3:13 PM
32

Matthew Fisher Wilder,

HA! That was awesome, thank you.

Posted by Original Andrew | December 12, 2006 3:23 PM
33

Everyone knows that lesbians become lesbians from licking boys and getting their testosterone secreted through their skin.

They're just eating so much tofu because they don't want to be lesbians because Jesus hates lesbians.

Posted by mmm delicious | December 13, 2006 2:10 PM
34

I read once without proper psycological treatment insanity will get worse. Now I never believed it before but the Wrong Wingers are proving whoever said that to be true.

Posted by Woody | December 13, 2006 6:52 PM
35

OMG-

You mean that all I have to do is get my stud neighbor over for chicken tofu and a soy shake and he will pump my rump?

I can't wait to try this out!

Posted by old timer | December 14, 2006 11:33 AM
36

soya crops are a major cause of deforestation, so drink dairy milk and attain breasts by means of plastic surgery only, so we do not suffocate.

Posted by mochinno | December 26, 2006 1:11 AM

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