Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Sorry, Canada and Mexico | Trimming the Merkin »

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Slog: We’re Not Winning, But We’re Not Losing

posted by on December 26 at 15:48 PM

Slog vs. Squirrels is a virtual tie. This is unacceptable. For these who prefer to think in visual terms, here is a handy voter reference guide.

This is a squirrel:

77921448-L.jpg

And think of this as Slog:

471af_5d14e_jessica_alba_3_babyface.jpg

Now really, which one would you rather vote for? Vote Slog!

RSS icon Comments

1

and thousands of gay men on Capitol Hill opt out of voting...and three or four of them want to know where she bought that bra...

Posted by michael strangeways | December 26, 2006 4:16 PM
2


How can anyone be turned off by Jessica Alba? She's adorable, (and this coming from a straight woman, who too, wants to know where she got the bra.)

Posted by whee! | December 26, 2006 4:22 PM
3

While both have a hungry look and either would be sensational down my pants, neither will go after the nuts I have to offer

Posted by The Peanut Gallery | December 26, 2006 4:28 PM
4

Oh Boy, I was going to vote for Slog, but the evil squirrels are not using women's bodies to serve their own interests. Really, you could have put a cupcake, a steak, or a new car. Instead you choose to use women as a commodity.

Yeah, it is a joke. But, the joke is old, tired and not funny. In fact it reminds me of the the part in Eli's article on being Jewish where he talks about the "hip" friends saying, "Here comes the Jew." (Not trying to give a direct quote, just referencing the part). The Stranger may think of itself as a hip paper that can make a *joke* about using women as objects to buy the readers' votes. I could have given the silent grimace, but instead I'm posting. The joke is not funny, it's old, it's sexist and it is at the expensive of women.

Posted by Papayas | December 26, 2006 4:45 PM
5

But squirrels are my spirit animal!

Posted by Gitai | December 26, 2006 4:58 PM
6

So, how is that photo winning any points with Slog's gay (male) readers?

Posted by keshmeshi | December 26, 2006 5:03 PM
7

she doesn't turn me off...she just doesn't do...anything...

actually, i don't think she's that hot...or a very good actress...

I wonder if Laura Linney looks good in a bikini? (that almost rhymes)

Posted by michael strangeways | December 26, 2006 5:06 PM
8

Perhaps this is more permissable, stale quibblers:

http://www.uvm.edu/~hag/sca/tudor/holbsq.jpg

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | December 26, 2006 5:15 PM
9

At least the squirrel isn't airbrushed.

Vote Squirrel!

Posted by squirrel advocate | December 26, 2006 5:48 PM
10

what is the very wise old saying - beware the still waters

the second women hoping to conceive a son would be the lay of any man's life - in any ear or time warp

the first, glamour puss, would rather watch herself on TV

Posted by sammy | December 26, 2006 5:51 PM
11

I'm a dyke and I think the squirrel is way cuter. The patriarchal ideal of femininity as displayed by the pin-up doll Jessica Alba is a total turnoff to me. Blech.

Posted by grace | December 26, 2006 5:57 PM
12

I think I'm going with the squirrel—I fucking hate navel piercings.

Posted by Paulus | December 26, 2006 7:41 PM
13

Dita von Teese maybe, not talentless bland stick figure number #1,034,502.

Posted by The CHZA | December 26, 2006 8:31 PM
14

As Carey once stated from SITC : "Squirrels are just rats in cuter outfits." Tke this and run with it.

Posted by Kat | December 26, 2006 9:34 PM
15

A squirrel's brain is the size of a walnut -- substantially larger than Jessica Alba's.

VOTE SQUIRREL

Posted by cite | December 26, 2006 9:46 PM
16

You just convinced me.

It's moose and squirrel, all the way.

Posted by Napoleon XIV | December 27, 2006 12:02 AM
17

I voted slog all the way but as a better strategy to pull voters Stranger
you should of had a Bette Davis pin up instead. Lots of Lesbians and gays and Sand M and Goths absorb everything about her. Look around some of the gay and straight bars and taverns on capitol hill and you will find a image of her. Look at how some dykes and Trannys and Goth S and M folk gear up and it resembles 50s style Betty Davis, not Jessica Alba. Just an observation and oh yeah , most of your music ads for live shows or a band at some bar feature 50s pin ups as well. Exspecially for Tractor Tavern, Showbox, and the Vogue. Anyway nice choice for Alba. Shes hot.

Posted by Most of my Heros don't appear on no stamps | December 27, 2006 8:05 AM
18

I meant Bette Page. Damn it I need more coffee. It kept bothering me that I made the wrong referance, but Davis wasn't bad looking either
http://www.variety.com/graphics/photos/variety100/davis_bette.jpg

Posted by Most of my Heros don't appear on no stamps | December 27, 2006 8:29 AM
19

And, after the votes are counted, the prize is.... what?

Posted by old timer | December 27, 2006 8:53 AM
20

gotta love Bette Page gay or straight she should represent the Stranger. Say no to Jessica alba... she doesn't represent sex sexy enough.
For those who need explanation heres Bette Page.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snwFz0Zr52U cuter than a squirrel

and heres Jessica alba
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP5KQzcD8gg boring

Posted by Most of my Heros don't appear on no stamps | December 27, 2006 9:12 AM
21

I'm sorry, but is she trying to look sexy there?

Posted by very_staight_guy_here | December 27, 2006 10:15 AM
22

I voted squirrel just because, although Jessica Alba is pretty hot, she is a abominable actress. Whereas squirrels are not.

Vote squirrel!

Posted by artlover | December 27, 2006 1:34 PM
23

Bette Paige doesn't do anything for me. There are better pictures of Jessica Alba (you should have used one from Sin City).

You should have used a kitten (I voted squirrel twice).

Posted by elswinger | December 27, 2006 4:09 PM
24

I believe that if Jessica Alba actually propositioned any of the people on this thread claiming to find her unattractive (because that's the cool thing to do, right?), they would immeditaely dive into her soft, latte-colored bosom with as much lust (if not more) than the rest of us. Any rational person would...it's OK to admit it. Really.

Posted by Matthew | December 28, 2006 11:46 AM
25

The actual Jessica Alba, sure. Cute as a button. But this pasty, bizarre FEMBOT 3000 photoshop creation with its freakishly shaved-down ribcage? No way. That's right out of the Uncanny Valley. Bradley, you've just talked me into voting squirrel.

Posted by Charity | December 28, 2006 2:10 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).