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Monday, December 11, 2006

Sixteen Boxes of Porn!?!

posted by on December 11 at 10:48 AM

My favorite Strangercrombie item is the Date for One package. Here’s the item description:

Date for One
Not one, not two, but sixteen (!) boxes of heterosexual pornography, from the original Debbie Does Dallas to Specs Appeal: Girls with Glasses to the disconcertingly named Anabolic Initiations IV. This vast collection of preowned but nonsticky wankspiration is spread over DVDs, VHS tapes, and even a few laserdiscs (?!?), and comes with a complimentary package of tube socks. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

Bid Now! As of this posting, it’s only at $51. What a steal!

In case you needed a little more convincing, there are many amazing things one can do with 16 boxes of heterosexual porn. Some of my ideas include theme parties, birthday presents, disguise birthday presents (where you innocently insert a porn into a case for the movie Clueless), gluing them together to make a wonderful bookcase, booby-trapping Dan Savage’s office (a porn in every desk drawer!), photocopying the case “art” for posters and thank you cards, and masturbating.

The possibilities are endless.

RSS icon Comments


Debbie Does Dallas was my very first pornographic movie. It was a fun movie. I have very fond memories.

Posted by monkey | December 11, 2006 11:29 AM

"preowned but nonsticky"

Preowned porn means opened porn. Which means that the masturbating hand was also used to remove said porn from the vcr/dvd player/laserdisc player. Yuck.

Posted by pablocjr | December 11, 2006 11:45 AM

Hey Pablo- that's what latex gloves are for!

Posted by Ari Spool | December 11, 2006 11:54 AM

I tried that, but the latex got all up inside the works of my VHS player and now I can't watch ANYTHING.

Posted by Fnarf | December 11, 2006 12:15 PM

I love porn, but "preowned" porn? Yuck. Besides, there's probably a thousand websites where this same stuff could be downloaded without fear of "smudged" DVDs, incompatible technology (laserdisc player? nope), or latex allergies.

Posted by him | December 11, 2006 12:22 PM

But the effort involved in downloading! I lament, as well, the lost cachet. Imagine how cool you sound telling someone that you bought sixteen boxes of pre-owned porn from Strangercrombie and YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!

Posted by Ari Spool | December 11, 2006 12:24 PM

I hope the picture of Debbie Does Dallas isn't the one in the Date for One package. British DVDs only play on PAL (European) systems. (The 18 in a circle is a British rating).

Posted by elswinger | December 11, 2006 12:51 PM

Unless you have a region-free DVD player. Which you should.

Posted by Fnarf | December 11, 2006 2:23 PM

I would, but I'd feel bad for the guy with the high bid who is clearly dying to win this package.

Posted by Gomez | December 11, 2006 9:14 PM

Don't forget! It is for charity :)

Posted by Secret South | December 11, 2006 9:42 PM

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