Comments on Have You Fucked These Men?

Dan, you forgot to ask if any of us have sold them any crystal meth. And really, aren't they just telling their leaders (the ultra faggy looking choir director especially), that they need to restrict their gay sex to glory holes?

Where can I email if I'd like to fuck Pastor Brendle in the ass?

What in the hell is a "stormfuhrer"?

Do you mean Stormtrooper (from the German "Sturmtruppe")?

Do you mean Führer (from the German for "leader")?

Or is a "stormfuhrer" some role in the gay Nazi bondage scene with which I'm not familiar?

This post is hilarious. "Click here".

And not me, but somebody has definitely fucked Brad Parsley in the ass. There's the xtreme gayface, the choir direction, but the name? Seriously? BRAD PARSLEY?!

"Brad Parsley, nice to meet you"

Way to doom your Christian infant to a satanic life of sodomy, mom and dad.

at least they brought in jack hayford as an overseer. he's a guy with real credibility and integrity. one of the most thoughtful ministers in the faith today, and compassionate.

Is it wrong to want to take advantage of the anonymity provided by their online form?

Really, though, there are very few New Life pastors' pictures that pass my "I look like I would probably prefer vaginas" test.

David Wright,
With which roles in the gay Nazi bondage scene are you familiar?

I love that it won't be "confidential" but dealt with "discretely". They're the a-holes that control the "discretion". I think that site deserves to be spammed with about 100,000 emails involving them with everything from the Enumclaw horse to Opus Dei rituals. You know the church is in trouble when they go digging for dirt like this. Besides, they're begging for a lawsuit from their minions IF something is found from using this site...

I'm going to give them an email saying that I'd gladly fuck the blond one. He's cute.

Sturmführer is what I meant—and it's a real Nazi rank, David. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranks_and_insignia_of_the_Schutzstaffel)

For the purpose of this post, however, I should have gone with Oberführer, as it sounds more like Overseer. I have altered the post accordingly.

Thanks for the update, Dan. And for the history lesson; I didn't know about the SA rank.

By the way, at least for me, "overseeer" doesn't exclusively connote an overseeer of slaves. And if they called themselves the "board" you would probably have mocked them for sounding corporate. Anyway, all of this is entirely peripheral to your otherwise enjoyable post.

I'm pretty sure "discreetly" was the word they were looking for, not "discretely". Dumbass home-schooled evangelicals who can't spell really chap my hide.

The associate worship pastor looks like a real life 'Fez" from that 70's show

Dan, I liked Stormfuhrer... and it had that fake quality to it- sort of like their church.

BTW, their newsletter is intriguing. They really get caught up on the burial of a gerbil (which was named Gerbil Washington Carver, with pictures of Carver included in the newsletter...). Maybe you should send Charles to investigate their fascination with such animals.

I need a blogging lesson so I know how to paste links...

there you go, dave

I think that Ross is really hot. I'm not sure if I'm more upset that he's gay or that he's a crazy repressed Christian. But, come to think of it maybe I could convince him that if he let me do him with a dildo that it would make him straight. Hmmm....

Thanks Charles... maybe I can raise my internet IQ into the double digits at least!

Ryan @11: my Word document spell check accepts both versions.

yes, but they're still different words with different meanings...

Maybe they mean the revelations will be dealt with in a non-continuous manner, and in batches of a given number. Possibly, though, they're just a bunch of ignorant cunts.

Two thoughts: 1) could there be a more faggy list of dudes? These guys make the San Fran pride parade look like monday night football. 2) Does anyone at the NLC realize the joke potential? They are totally asking to be F-ed with.

I've got my "I PEGGED PARSLEY" bumpersticker, don't you?

I'd say the choir director is the most fuckable, though his hair is debatable -he could lose his gay card for using that much mousse.

Any shirtless pix?

I think I'll copy and paste some hot man on man fic from About Face or Rear Admirals to let the horny Uber-seers know exactly what Brad Parsley and I have been doing every evening (when the services really begin).

And BTW, is "spiritual cleansing" like ethnic cleansing?

Jeez, is there a reward?

Monkey,

Yeah, 20 pieces of silver.

I couldn't help myself, I went to the site and posted a response. I told them to enjoy their witch hunt.

PS by the way, it only requires that the name, address, email, etc. fields not be blank. I put in * for all of them.

Fuckers!

Wow, so there is such a thing as "gay face."

I'm pretty sure I fucked Brad Parsley, the choir master. I remember him screaming: "I'm cumming again!"

Someone should accuse Ross and Brad Parsley of being secretly gay married instead of being brothers...

Why do all of these guys look like they'd be hanging out in A&F stores by the changing rooms ....trying to lure in impressionable young men with nary a drop of pubic hair for some on the knees praying to someone other than the Lord?

Come see my new ad for "Senator Brownback for President"

Okay, I know - its sick but I think its kind of funny.

http://www.pinkpanthersblog.com/

Besides that wing-nut extremist bitch deserves it.

Um, what if they just 69'd with them? After all, blowjobs are an impeachable offense ...

I wouldn't fuck any of these guys in the ass. As closeted as they are... they probably don't know how to douch! Since they believe being gay is dirty, imagine what the fuck would be like. Hand me the face mask and the surgical gloves please!

I really can't believe that you didn't include David Perkins, "Director of the Furnace", in your post.

The Director of the Furnace is quite obviously flamin' and probably has quite a list of informants the overseers would like to hear from.

I guess where know where the Other Side of Aspen is...
Colorado Springs

What if they fucked me in the ass? Can I still weigh in? I realize they all look like nelly bottoms, but that Parsley is hung like a HORSE, and there is no sense letting that much man-meat go to waste!

This whole thing sorta reminds me of the Queer as Folk episode that begins with Brian fucking some guy in the ass at Babylon (close-up of the man's dangling... crucifix) and winds up with Brian meeting his mother's beloved (and gorgeous) pastor... whom Brian has already met (in the Biblical sense).

BTW - Did anyone notice the multiple Parlseys at this church? Didn't realize civil unions were legal in Colorado.

at least they brought in jack hayford as an overseer

I'm pretty sure he's the guy who fucked my prize watermelon.

Does using a twelve-inch dildo on Brad count? I would've done it myself, but he wouldn't put his embossed bible down and it seemed too creepy, even for me.

I think I have the "Smoking Gun" a copy of the Titan flick "Brotherhood of Aspen" featuring the Parsley Brothers "ministering" to each other. Its probably available at your local "TLA", that hotbed of HomO Entertainment!

History lesson: They use "overseer" because it is an English translation of episkopos, the Greek word from which the English word bishop is derived.

at least they brought in jack hayford as an overseer. he's a guy with real credibility and integrity. one of the most thoughtful ministers in the faith today, and compassionate.

Sorry pal. Anyone involved in this comic book nonsense has no credibility whatsoever, especially if they are an American christian. There is nothing on earth more stupid than the American christian.

"...is "spiritual cleansing" like ethnic cleansing?"

No. It's an enema performed with Holy Water.

Badum-pum!

wow, awkward...

www.americanlegends.blogspot.com

Isn't it redundant to ask if the choir director has been fucked in the ass?

I mean, really.

Now, I think you might just all need to click over to BigMuscle.com, click the 21 bar to indicate you're of age, and then click on "Other Lists" from the menu to the left.

From there, click the Google Maps link and then click on the Colorado tab.

There's the people you should be asking, Dan.

BTW, I'm madly in love with your work.

Additional history lesson: slavery was also prevalent in the American North.

Can I e-mail them if I want to fk them but haven't?

To i love pa: discrete means distinct, constituting a different entity. Discreet means having or showing discernment.
Two different English words with two different meanings. That's why your spell check displays both. Don't trust Word, go to your Webster's.

I'm really hoping some gay prostitute will out Fred Phelps, the guy who pickets gay funerals in Kansas.
that guy is the classic "dog who barks too loud"

that being said, I walked in on an all new-life pastor orgy once... does that count?

Overseer can be used to describe any supervisor, and it has many applicable uses, so we can continue with tearing taboos down, and not creating more of them?

I'll have a sprig of that ass.

"Oberfuehrer" was the Nazi word for "major general" (the military rank, of the SS), and doesn't seem to be used for much of anything else now.

The fact that they misspelled "discreetly" is evidence that they've been spending too much time looking at the m4m ads on Craigslist.

I'll take Rob Brendle, Associate Pastor, with a side order of bacon. The others are two damn nelly-looking for even me to fuck in the ass.

The two Parsley "brothers", however, add a new meaning to the search for the perfect garni.

Call today!

1-800-555-5555 if you've fucked one of them

1-900-555-5555 if you want to fuck one of them.

Goddammit, we need to get rid of these misogynistic christian "churches"...need to get some of those cute-but-repressed female ministers, or choir-honeys in the good ol' New Life Church.

(Nothin' like a good horsefucking to get their heads in a good spot.)

Thank you, Ryan.

I am thrilled to learn I am not the only uber-anal logophile online. The right word is 'discreet' meaning handled with sensitivity and discretion. I agree that the home-schooled Jesus-Juicers have a lot to learn. The word 'discrete' is used to reference individual, separate particles.

Thank you, Ryan.

I am thrilled to learn I am not the only uber-anal logophile online. The right word is 'discreet' meaning handled with sensitivity and discretion. I agree that the home-schooled Jesus-Juicers have a lot to learn. The word 'discrete' is used to reference individual, separate particles.

(Nothin' like a good horsefucking to get their heads in a good spot.)

I sincerely hope that's some kind of euphemism.

-fred

By the way, did Brad Parsley put his hair on slightly crooked for that picture, or is it just me? I tilt my head a little to the left, to counteract the tilt of his head, but his hair still seems... askew.

-fred

Oh My Stars, Dan! Every single one of them is gayer than Anderson Cooper's sock drawer.

Overseers? More like Bendoverssers!

Everyone on this board needs to go over lay some abuse to this pack of witch-hunters. I've already done my duty.

Before Radhika gets on my case, I should acknowledge that I completely fucked up my last post. It should have read: "lay some abuse on this pack of witch-hunters."

My earlier observation still applies.

What about the Pastor Beard that left the church earlier this week because of a sexual indiscretion? Any pics of him.? And what was the story behind his leaving. (No pun intended)

When I went over to New Life's site to confess my tryst with Rev. Parsley including all the juicy details, I was rudely redirected right back here. With the Lord strong in my heart, I know I will get through eventually.

Get a life you pigs!

What low life crap!

The cute one is that Pastor who just got the boot - Christopher Beard. I noticed in the church's explanation for his dismissal they said he had committed sexual misconduct with and unmarried "adult" so ya know it's gotta be another guy. Otherwise they'd be going out of their way to prove they have a hetero pastor.

eat me, cynthia!

while i've not fucked any of these xian men (too nelly for me), i did DISCRETELY rim each of them. and may i add, the choirmaster wasn't at all DISCREET in his noisy response.

William @ 46: I figured out with @18 that I screwed up, but that's what I get for losing my hard copy of Websters in the last move....good point, though. Spell check sucks if you don't really know your vocab. Cheers & thanks to all for the discreet lesson.

Way too funny. I couldn't help but reply to New Life's request for information in the hope that Cynthia is sat there pouring through all the replies.

If you guys like those Parsley's you should check out the A-hole that is Rod Parsley, paster of the insane World Harvest Church here in Ohio. This picture just begs for photoshop:

http://www.itickets.com/parts/aimages/8917.jpg

Do I have to tell them if I have just looked at them in a special way?

Cynthia wrote:

Get a life you pigs!

What low life crap!

Yeah, that's what all of them were saying about Mike Jones...

... until he provided the voicemails!

Haha!

All faggots should be found out and punished, driven from their jobs and treated like sick creatures. Torquemada lives on!

Oh. My. Gawd.

Brad Parsley has " Kramer" hair! I'd forgotten about that!

I'm a straight woman. If these preacherboys PAID me to poke'em in their patooties with an" ethnic"-tinted boytoy, should I report that?

what about the ones that did homo cam-2-cam cybersex with me? Do I report them too?

Here, Bobby, show the Overseer's committee on this crucifix where the bad pastor touched you.

I don't think I'd want to continue working for an organization that asks members of the public to come forward if they've done me up the butt, and then posts my picture. It somehow seems like an unsavory thing for an employer to do, a little bit.

Perhaps it's easier than firing them on suspicion of being gay.

Re the original church announcement, Overseer's of New Life Church -- Is the improperly inserted apostrophe symbolic of a "dangling chad" fetish?

Forget the pastors and other administrators I participated in a wild party with the overseers. You don't see their pictures posted, but honey let me tell you those queens know their high thread count fabrics.

What's going on with Brad Parsley's hair in that pic? Its totally bugging me.

It looks like some exotic sea coral is growing out of his head...

Here's the note I left them with my real name:
It's time y'all face up to the fact that gay people are part of the deal, god's plan, if you will. There is nothing sinful or wrong about it. It just is.

I love my husband and he loves me and we don't have to hide it. Together we are raising a son whose heterosexual mother and father can't quite hack it. Seems like Jesus would be right proud of us.

Quit worrying about where other people's private parts have fun.

David

I don't recognize the faces. Maybe they should also post pictures of their asses. They would be easier to recognize.

Maybe New Life is adapting Scientology's "suppressive persons" strategy?

This is why I love you.
thank you

Hey Dan, I've got a bit of dirt on YOU. Since your so into others' dirt, let's share YOURS.

Do you remember Shaw? you tricked at your place, tied him up in your basement, and then invited your neighbors over to tease him.

Yeah, how'd you like it, 3 months later when your sorry drunk ass, picked him up again, and this time he tied YOU up in the basement... and left you there?

did your partner enjoy that? or did you make it out before he got home?

and btw, you might also remember ME, as one of the MANY people who have laughed at you when you've tried hitting on them.

Just wanted to share with the class.

Don't you see? This is a clever front for them to collect new meat for the secret baptisms of fire rituals headed by the overseers. Once you send any information men will come to your home at night and you will right away be sent to special treatment. This way they will ride the world of sodomites once and for all. That way their leadership will no longer be tempted by the ways of the flesh. Yeeeee Ai Ai Cthulu Rleyh Ftagn Shrub Nuggureth!!!

are any of them a relation to this faggoty fag?

Rod Parsly

http://www.breakthrough.net/

LMAO, did someone say something about a second cumming?

this all reminds me of that QAF episode where Brian fucks a priest. that was hot.