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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Good Morning, Gossip!

posted by on December 28 at 10:05 AM

I Love Strippers,” yelps Lindsay Lohan after a party-hearty night at NYC titty bar Scores West, where she hopped up on stage before 400 onlookers and worked that pole like a gay fireman.

Shed a tear for poor pill-popper O.J. Simpson who is allegedly addicted to OxyContin, after his dispicable book (“If I’d Did It”) and special were shelved. Sources say he “has plummeted into a hellhole of heavy boozing, drug abuse and insane jealousy.” Don’t hurt our feelings and overdose, now!

After one disturbing gossip report too many, longtime Britney Spears fansite creator ( is calling it quits. “No matter what anyone thinks, it’s very hard to maintain the respect needed to keep [this website] going.” That’s too bad… will you change your mind if she shows you her vagina?

Remember last week, when all those naughty pictures of Miss Nevada surfaced, and she called her booby-licking adventures an “isolated incident?” Well, more pictures have been found. But this time it was the boob that attacked her tongue!

Miss Nevada_2.jpg

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I don't know why Trump Inc. thinks that any of the Miss U.S.A. contestants are virginal innocents. If any of them have gone to college, they probably went to Spring break or a frat party, and if they didn't go to college, they probably popped their cherry in a car behind the Dairy Queen.

The only way the Miss U.S.A. or any other pageant, is to remain pure they need to start selecting regular girls.

Posted by elswinger | December 28, 2006 10:16 AM

Isn't it ironic and bizarre that Lindsay Lohan has failed to heed the prescient warnings of Mean Girls (a film that she, you know, STARRED IN) and became one of The Plastics?

Posted by Original Andrew | December 28, 2006 10:18 AM

The Week magazine's last issue of the year included a semi-serious "year in review" news roundup, featuring one or two paragraphs on each month of the year. I say semi-serious because the inescapable Ms. Lohan was mentioned in January, December, and at least one other month.

Aren't her 15 minutes up yet?

Posted by Levislade | December 28, 2006 10:30 AM

Not to go all Ambrose Bierce on y'all, but the chief source of pleasure for Americans is, and always has been, tut-tutting at the pleasures of others, and their moral failings.

I don't really get what the problem is when attractive young people go wild and freaky in the streets and have as much monkey sex as they can possibly get their lips around and brag about on Oprah afterwards. What's wrong with pleasure?

Posted by Fnarf | December 28, 2006 10:52 AM

It is so amusing to watch all the pageant people kvetching about these girls. Most normal women party, drink, act bi, show their juggs at some point in their life. Add fame and fortune and everyone telling you how hot you are and that is magnified.

But they're supposed to be role models. How about making a role model out of someone that doesn't parade around in a bikini with a plastic smile in front of a bunch of old white men? Someone like Erica C Barnette?

Posted by Mike in MO | December 28, 2006 11:01 AM

I thought Slog was the one place in the world I was safe from the likes of Lindsay Hilton and Ms. Trump USA/Universe. Man was I wrong.

Posted by Dave Coffman | December 28, 2006 11:24 AM

How little does that woman want to be suckled? Despite her clearly popping her own boob out, her facial expression makes her looks like a soccer mom awkwardly getting an unwanted lap dance.

Posted by Dikki Anjensen | December 28, 2006 12:25 PM
Posted by Noink | December 28, 2006 12:36 PM

That woman has had a boob job. I would bet you $5.

Posted by artlover | December 28, 2006 12:56 PM

you're the man, Noink...

Posted by Mike in MO | December 28, 2006 1:00 PM

I just cant get over the size of her tongue! Like the guy from KISS.

Posted by mirror | December 28, 2006 9:47 PM

Yeah, that boob definitely looks too perky and firm.

Posted by Gloria | December 29, 2006 5:57 AM

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