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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Gerald Goddamned Ford

posted by on December 27 at 9:40 AM

The Seattle papers today had banner headline stories, full of milky-soft words for Gerald Goddamned Ford, who died yesterday at 93 years old. If you have read any of this treacle—from the Seattle Times: “Often the target of jokes, Ford laughed right along,” and the front page of the P.I. repeats Teddy Goddamned Kennedy’s line about how “Time has a way of clarifying past events, and now we see that President Ford was right”—you owe it to yourself to read Barry Werth’s amazing book 31 Days

On reading the book, which covers, um, the first 31 days of Ford’s Presidency, you will re-learn how Gerald Goddamned Ford failed the one mission of his ridiculous term—not pardoning Richard Nixon. (Really: The only thing he had to do was not pardon Nixon. It took him a month to fuck that up.) But, more importantly, you’ll learn how, in Ford’s classic ineptitude, he allowed a bunch of evil jackasses—among them Rumsfeld and Cheney—to worm their way into power. It took a month for that to happen, too. You couldn’t have a George Goddamned W. Goddamned Bush without Gerald Goddamned Ford, and that’s why all these crocodile tears are making me violently ill. This man didn’t guide us through the stormy seas of Watergate, he tossed us into the pig slop of dirty politics, and then cashed more dishonorable checks than any other retired President—if you’re interested in that story, read Mark Updegrove’s trifle of a book Second Acts: Presidential Lives and Legacies After the White House—all without ever being elected to office. Ha, ha, Gerald Goddamned Ford, joke’s on us. Amen.

RSS icon Comments

1

I haven't read the 31 days book, but Cheney and Rumsfeld were sadly destined to slime their way in regardless. The Reagan supporters disliked Ford. And had Watergate either not happened or had been better handled, and Nixon was still president until 1976, Cheney and Rumsfeld could have easily been appointed positions by then, anyway.

You can hate on Ford if you want, Paul. Go crazy. But just sayin'.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 27, 2006 10:39 AM
2

Also, Ford snubbed George Bush I for vice president. Greater point here: the weasels had plenty of holes to choose from.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 27, 2006 10:40 AM
3

I understand that they would've crawled up, regardless. But--I really do recommend 31 Days in re: Ford's dislike of Bush Sr.--I think that a different scenario wouldn't have been as fortuitous for them. The timing was perfect: nobody was paying attention. I will continue to hate on Ford, anyway, as Ford-hating seems to be the only sport that will inspire me to drag my weary carcass into 2007. Hate keeps me warm. Boo, Ford!

Posted by Paul Constant | December 27, 2006 10:51 AM
4

I wonder if he will reincarnate in Mary Cheney's womb.

Posted by patrick C | December 27, 2006 10:59 AM
5

"I'm Mary Cheney's baby, and you're not!"

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 27, 2006 11:11 AM
6

As a professional historian, I believe it was The Landslide of 1972 that shoveled Cheney, Rumsfeld and their ilk into power. Ford, at his best and worst, was a modest man and an effective puppet -- "I never wanted to be more than Speaker of the House," he often said (before running for, cough, re-election).

Posted by frederick r | December 27, 2006 11:27 AM
7

It’s a sad tradition, isn’t it?

Each incoming President must pardon all the criminals who run our government.

Ford pardoned Nixon and Co.
Bush I pardoned everyone who ever shook hands with Reagan.
Clinton pardoned his campaign supporters.
You can bet that Bush II will have a pardon list that stretches from here to New Jersey.

The common theme here is that no one will ever be held accountable for their crimes, and each successive administration is even more corrupt and incompetent. How are we ever going to get out of this hot mess?

Posted by Original Andrew | December 27, 2006 11:55 AM
8

Well, at least we'll be able to go to Grand Rapids, Michigan to Ford's presidential library, and dance upon his grave; he asked to be buried in the library courtyard.

Posted by isabelita | December 27, 2006 1:19 PM
9

Original Andrew - didn't you hear?

We have a Democratic Majority now. There is no corruption. They are going to make everything work better, faster and stronger.

Will the lock step Democrat fanatics keep their blinders on for the next year, or will they get on the asses of their majority members and make them do something?

In one year from now, any criticism that has bubbled up against the Dems lack of integrity
(and or action) will be quashed by the rise of the Democratic fanatics that will once again be saying:

"Now is not the time to criticize. We must unite for victory behind Clinton/Obama/Edwards. No discouraging words!!"

Posted by patrick C | December 27, 2006 1:24 PM
10

Patrick C,

Wow, that was a little bitter. I’ll reserve judgment until I see what happens this spring with the Dem super majorities here in Washington State.

If they totally wuss-out and act like the pathetic DLC Democrats instead of enacting a progressive agenda, then I’ll be screaming for their heads. I’d like to see them reform our tax, education, healthcare and transportation funding systems, plus enact marriage equality or civil unions. That’s a lot to cover, but it would be awesome to see strong leadership on those issues.

If not now, when?

Posted by Original Andrew | December 27, 2006 2:28 PM
11

Is that all you guys do is read the Seattle Times and PI and go over and over how they wrote it. You all must have a subsrciption or something over there.
The first time I heard this news was going online and Bam right there was everyhting about Mr. Ford and his legacy. And Link after Link on top of that with pictures black and white and in color. Seattle Times big deal this was news before it hit both yopur papers online and offline. And there is more about the guy than he was some fucktard in office who just happened to live along time. Boring. Even Hunter S. Thompson gave more intake on the guy with his own spin(and wierd, but original at that).
So come on. Where is the Strangers guts in mincing c of Mr.Ford and his legacy and death in their own words(back it with facts, not opinions) of this guy. oh yeah , I forgot, The Strangers the only Paper in town with writers quoting other writers from other newspapers. At least you did't fail Citation APA OR MDL requirement in college writing. No plagiarism here good for you..... but on Mr. Ford do you have anything original than going after the Times and PI and their coverage? Can you critisize that Mr.Ford without refering to what some other guy said about him in an article?
My first and only annoyance with the Stranger. other than that you guys rock. vote slog

Posted by sputnik | December 27, 2006 3:10 PM
12

Bitter? Yes. I am not only a member of the Bitterness Society, I am the President.

Self-appointed.

It is the result of watching the same thing happen over and over and over again, Original Andrew.

The motivation is always to elect Democrats - never to actually expect them to do anything once in office.

We enable them and they take advantage of us.

There is no difference between the left wing Democrat cheerleaders and the right wing Republican fanatics is. They are both too gullable to know they are being had.

Posted by patrick C | December 27, 2006 3:21 PM
13

sorry bout that type. My wireless keyboard is acting up. Anyway Paul good refrences to 31 days read it and Boring....
Also Mr. ford got chu the Justice department guy Stevens and lets see other Liberal accomplishments... Some civil rights liberties, allowing a Partial birth abortion to pass(as MSN said in parentheses next to that one(illfuted). I could go on and on by posting a link to those facts or a refrence but with all those facts mixed with opinions out there where do I start. Oh yeah how about Wikipedia.
And then finish it off with Hunter S. Thompson take on the whole thing.
If I'm right didn't even he forgive Nixon.

Posted by Fear and Loathing Mr.Ford | December 27, 2006 3:38 PM
14

I believe this is the third time you've used the word "treacle" to comment on the stories on Gerald Ford. Not that I'm by any means some sycophantic Republican who has anything to say about this president at all, but like, seriously... what did you really expect? That they're going to criticize two-and-a-half years of forgettable domestic policies and do-nothingisms? Writing your own obituary is hard enough.

-Trevor

Posted by Trevor | December 28, 2006 7:19 AM

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