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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Breaking: Marriage Solves Everything!

posted by on December 20 at 15:06 PM

(P.S. Gays need not apply.)

Never missing an opportunity to prove that women need to be happily, heterosexually married to avoid going completely nuts, researchers now claim proof that the soothing touch of a husband’s hand is just the thing to “calm a threatened wife” and “bust” her stress. UVA assistant professor of neuroscience James A. Coan put women in an MRI machine and threatened them with electrical shocks while they held their husband’s hand, a (male) stranger’s hand, or no hand at all. The result? Women in “highly satisfying” marriages were less alarmed by impending electrocution while holding their husband’s hand—thus proving, as the China Daily headline put it, “High-quality marriages are the best stress-busters for women.” No male brains were studied; nor, as Twisty notes, did Coan bother to study “the female brain response when the electrically-imperiled subject was offered the hand of her girlfriend, or her mother’s hand, or a golden retriever puppy, or a margarita.”

margarita.jpg

Just look at it. Don’t you feel calmer already?

RSS icon Comments

1

C’mon people, it’s been half an hour, where’s the outrage? Why no Erica-hates-men posts?

Have you all been castrated?

Don’t tell me the he-men are all out SHOPPING! What happened to your masculine pride?

Posted by BB | December 20, 2006 3:40 PM
2

Sorry I'm late, I was busy holding my girlfriend's hand to calm her down after she read the article...

Posted by Tahn | December 20, 2006 3:51 PM
3

To summarize: University scientist does preliminary study on effect of hand-holding with a male spouse on stress reactions in women. Media outlets willfully misinterpret study results to produce misleading taglines like "A new study has found that all women need to lower their stress levels is a strong and happy marriage."

Self-described "Radical feminist" blogger mocks misleading taglines without in any way addressing original study or bringing any new facts to bear whatsoever. Outraged harumphing ensues. Rest of world yawns, takes nap.

Posted by flamingbanjo | December 20, 2006 3:55 PM
4

I say give all the married women magic mushrooms, then shock 'em. Two great studies that taste great together!

Posted by bethany jean clement | December 20, 2006 3:59 PM
5

Self-described "Radical feminist" blogger mocks misleading taglines without in any way addressing original study or bringing any new facts to bear whatsoever.

Cuz that's like, Twisty's job.

Posted by Oneiros Dreaming | December 20, 2006 4:14 PM
6

"No male brains were studied"

Uh ... okay. Had male brains actually been studied as well, and the same result found - it is my suspicion that it would be - would you and Twisty be disappointed at the lost opportunity for gratuitous snark? Or would it be held up as proof that Teh Menz are the only real beneficiaries of marriage?

Posted by tsm | December 20, 2006 4:18 PM
7

The fact that no male brains were studied is relevant here, as is the fact that the study is being held up as "proof" of the same thing ALL these studies of women "prove": women need men desperately. Our very sanity depends on it.

Posted by ECB | December 20, 2006 4:39 PM
8

"The fact that no male brains were studied is relevant here, as is the fact that the study is being held up as "proof" of the same thing ALL these studies of women "prove": women need men desperately. "

See, but here's what the researcher involved actually SAID about the study in the article:

"This is the first study of the neurological reactions to human touch in a threatening situation, and the first study to measure how the brain facilitates the health-enhancing properties of close social relationships."

Nothing about any specific women-need-men-to-stay-sane angle. Maybe the journalist who wrote this was pushing that a bit, but not the researchers. Sloppy science coverage in the news is hardly a new thing.

Posted by tsm | December 20, 2006 4:52 PM
9

the study is being held up as proof by who? The researchers? Or some media outlet? The study proves that the touch of a loved one has a demonstrable effect on a person. That is a universal truth that could apply to any sex or loving relationship whether that relationship be between parent/child, husband/wife, husband/husband, etc.

As far as I can tell, nobody has read anything more than the "200 word" summary which means that any debate over it is pointless because it is so vague it can be both proof of the fealty of woman to men AND proof of the patriarchal oppressor. TSM is right. If they had merely had the men sit down and repeat the same test with their wives with the same result, we wouldn't even be talking about it. Twisty and Erica are guilty of the same dishonesty as the chinese journalist. Both are imparting their own prejudices upon the interpretation of a study whose intent has nothing to do with whether women are dependent upon men specifically.

totally manufactured and hyped hyperbole. utterly meaningless.

Posted by charles | December 20, 2006 4:57 PM
10

What's with all the Twisty-hatin' around here? Agree with her or not, she at least manages to be funny.

And she did address the original study.

Fellow blamers, step up!

Posted by I loves me some Twisty | December 20, 2006 6:02 PM
11

You rock, Flamingbanjo!

Posted by Sean | December 20, 2006 6:44 PM
12

Had they studied male brains they would have found men suffer less stress when their wives are electrocuted.

Posted by monkey | December 21, 2006 9:24 AM
13

ummm... margaritas don't have hands, weirdly?

Posted by SEAN NELSON, EMERITUS | December 21, 2006 3:32 PM

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