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Madrassas. They're running Christian madrassas.

Posted by flamingbanjo | December 18, 2006 10:12 AM

Hehe. missionary.

Posted by Mike in MO | December 18, 2006 10:44 AM

"disordered moral life"

Yep, I'd say that phrase fits these wacko fundies to a T.

Posted by Original Andrew | December 18, 2006 10:54 AM

Not to defend the religious wacko's, but in all seriousness, given that missionary programs frequently work in regions where some of the world's most deadly armed conflicts are occuring, weapons training, assuming it's for self-defense, is probably not all that unreasonable.

I wouldn't start worrying too much until there's evidence these guys are going to local gun shows, purchasing large quantities of SAW's, and stockpiling them in their local churches.

Posted by COMTE | December 18, 2006 10:55 AM

It's pleasurable to imagine their parishioners sitting around wondering "why are we all such gol-dang freaks?" Eventually some of them will cotton on.

Posted by Fnarf | December 18, 2006 11:01 AM

I'm guessing they had a fake SWAT team capture and detain the missionary trainees as a surprise drill, so they can feel sufficiently persecuted and paranoid. I was a fundamentalist years ago, and I remember stories floating around about people doing that. Even if those stories weren't true, maybe Beard was inspired by them.

Posted by pox | December 18, 2006 11:02 AM

Dan, those churches should employ one of us to go in and use our gaydar. We could really stir things up.

comte: in colorado springs, I would say that they all own guns. It's picturesque but ruined people wise.

Posted by Dave Coffman | December 18, 2006 11:34 AM

Geez, look at their mission teams' website. It looks like an Abercrombie & Fitch shoot...

Posted by bmh | December 18, 2006 12:12 PM

@1, yes, and they're being government funded, like the ones in Pakistan and Afghanistan (admittedly, those are funded by the Saudi Arabian government, but ours are funded by 1000 points of light torture).

@7 - my son and I play spot the closeted gay when watching news programs - so far 12 for 12 ... most are Congressmen and Ministers. He says he's also good at spotting women who are closeted, but I'm lousy, as I'm too interested in them being straight ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 18, 2006 12:13 PM

Dave, there are ALSO lots of lovely, sane, intelligent and creative people here in Colorado Springs. We just can't seem to make headlines the way them New LIfe and Focus on the Family some bitches can.

Posted by Noel Black | December 18, 2006 3:00 PM

Hey, I would take whichever job that would take me to 53 countries for free! I am about to become a believer...

Posted by tinydoc | December 18, 2006 4:12 PM

I had a wonderful time when I got sent to an assignment in Colorado Springs. The downtown is beautiful, snug, and arty. I really considered relocating at the time, but everyone I know screamed at me, "NO! Do more research or at LEAST read Fast Food Nation!".

I don't know. It's a shame that the town was co-opted by freaks. I've actually been hoping that this mass outing of closeted gays would lead to a kind of progressive urban renewal. Can you imagine a town so awesome at its core that smart, creative people remain in spite of the nasty dark cloud that is the lucrative pulpit superstar movement? That's Colorado Springs. Let us not cede the physical beauty of a place like CS to fundies who would sooner pave the place than enjoy it conservatively for what it is.

Oh what are we talking about? Already drunk, sorry. Anyway, Colorado Springs is gorgeous.

Posted by sniggles | December 18, 2006 4:30 PM

Christians are all child molestors and Jews kill babies by sucking blood out of their cocks.

Check out this New York Times article:

Religious people are all idiots.

Posted by religion sucks | December 18, 2006 4:38 PM
Posted by religion sucks | December 18, 2006 4:39 PM

Noel @ 10: Yeah, fair enough... I really overgeneralized. I still remember being at my Great Aunt's house in Manitou, going to play skeeball when I was a tot... COS will probably always draw the conservative crowd- a lot of current and ex military, beautiful area, etc. I wish we'd hear more about the less cultish people and things there...

Posted by Dave Coffman | December 18, 2006 5:27 PM

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