Sports Ah, the cold
posted by December 3 at 18:20 PMon
UPDATE ‘Hawks/Gulls/Hags/Shehawks win. Trolls blow. Weekly weak. See below, and greetings from Chicago. See y’all in January.
So, I’d ask where all the Stanger staffers who like sports are, but I assume they’re glued to their TVs, or too high or drunk to slog at the moment. Me, I’m still defrosting after the Bears game this afternoon, one ugly game (despite its result— Bears win NFC North), but I’ll do some Nepotism/Sports slogging to take up the Sunday night slack. All trolls are hereby advised that I don’t give a shit what they think.
I learned two things today: one, if it’s 20 F, the lovely cream-colored collar around the edge of a pint of Guiness will actually freeze, leaving a jagged ice shelf around one side of your pint as you drink it. Two, when a quarterback hits his receivers right in the hands, they’ll drop the ball. It’s like trying to catch a brick. A very cold brick. The Vikings receivers dropped a bunch of balls—the Bears receivers mostly just let the Vikings intercept—and both the Broncos and the Gulls should just concentrate on developing the running game. They’re both looking pretty brittle.
Till that last interception return, and then the fumble recovery. Even with the missed field-goal, I think the Gulls D will teach this rookie QB a thing or two, and will win. Just a prediction. Updates to come.
UPDATEOK, Seattle’s O looks as bad as the Bears’ O (hey Matt—fuck Griese, he ain’t done shit on his other 4 NFL stops, he’s born to hold a clipboard) but the Gulls’ D is looking sharp. This kind of game is, pun not intended but necessary, a slog. Keep the field position in your favor, and the D can score some more or give the O a short enough field that they can get a few field goals or a TD.
UPDATE Stupid pick. Stupid play-calling. Keep running the ball.
But it occurs to me that some of you all might like some cold-weather lessons, since you might be coming to Chicago in January. First, don’t wear all your cold-weather gear when you’re walking to the stadium. Then you get all sweaty, and when you sit down in the fucking freezing cold the sweat turns into a layer of ice over your flesh. This is much less pleasant than the effect of freezing air on Guinness.
UPDATE John Madden must have Alzheimer’s. When he says, as he just did, that this is “a big big drive for the Seahawks,” he’s not just stating the obvious, he’s stating the FUCKING OBVIOUS. The Gulls have great field position, and a TD can put them up a point. Duh. I bet that Sack just now (12:19 left in the 4th) was bad. Now a punt, that’s bad. The fake FG/Punt was a Nice Try. Guess I should stop listening to the TV and start just listening to the voices in my head. Except when they say “kill kill kill… “
UPDATE This injury is scary. Football is a violent game, and not to get soft and politically correct and all, but there is something to be said for thinking seriously about the way that some folks provide bread and circuses to the rest of us who watch, sometimes at the cost of their own physical or mental health and well-being. In sports it’s more dramatic and more often televised live than when some actor or musician burns out. But in whatever realm of artistic or athletic competition (and art is competitive, don’t kid yourself), there are lots of human casualties.
UPDATE Nice TD, nicer hit and fumble recovery on the kickoff. Like I predicted, the Gulls can win this. Lotsa time left, but only really great teams like the Bears can turn the ball over four or five times and still win. And Denver ain’t great.
UPDATE Hey STTW: ZZZ: go off to the Weekly, where their last blog post is from 9 this morning. No wonder you chose the cliche for snoring for your comments, your favorite paper is a fucking Yawn.
UPDATE OK, time to stick the knife in. The Gulls should go for a TD right now. Put it out of reach.
Taking advantage of a pick this late is imperative. But the conservative play-calling is just stupid, the same sort of thing that made y’all lose the Super Bowl last year. 3 points is better than nothing, but 7 woulda put much more pressure on the Broncos. And, as the Man from Eumenclaw could tell ya, you can never ask too much from a Bronco.
UPDATE WHAT THE FUCK. 2:37 left, and the Gulls D has let the Broncos back into the game. Hope your Special Teams are more prepared for the onside kick than the Bears were today. And if you don’t know what an onside kick is, go read the Weakly.
UPDATE This game is still very winnable. Just gotta get a field goal. Of course, it would have been more winnable if some earlier opportunities had been taken advantage of. But so it goes…
UPDATE OK, the gulls are driving for the potentially game-winning FG, and WTF? False start? Look, I love football, but I’m hoping to get home while my liver still functions, and now we’re looking at OT? Shit. And thanks to Celery Stalker and Ryan Sr. What’s the opposite of a Troll? You guys are it.
UPDATE The kick is up and it’s GOOD—And yes, this was REAL time. Let’s hope the five second left on the clock don’t come back and haunt the Gulls.