This is gonna be horrifically painful to watch, and I wouldn't miss it for the world. So let's make it a drinking game!
If Michael Richards refers to his number of black friends, DRINK!
If he acknowledges some sort of distant black ancestry, DRINK!
If he blames alcohol/drugs, DRINK!
If he weeps openly, DRINK DRINK DRINK!!!
Seriously, he'll just blame it on "Mary Hart Syndrome".
Comte! Please fill me in on the specifics/origin of "Mary Hart Syndrome."
Thanks.
If he makes a heartfelt, sincere and tasteful apology that acknowledges his mistake and strives not to excuse but to amend his behavior, DRINK EVERYTHING YOU HAVE!
(and take heart, the world is possibly coming to an end)
Best case scenario: Richards acknowledges his lifelong battle with Tourette's syndrome.
Seriously, it's the only way he's coming out of this with a career...
He had a career?
If people boo him when he comes on: Drink!
If he says he is now in treatment for alcohol: Drink!
This will be the fastest drinking game on the planet.
You think Paul will bring up a nice bass sound on his keyboard for when Richards snaps into the camera frame and do one of those Seinfeld 'doodledee-deet-deet-deet-doodlydee-doo' intros?
If he tells Dave that he came on his show because "Jay has that nigger band" - DRINK!
It's a "Seinfeld" reference. Kramer would go into a Grand-Mal-like seizure whenever he heard Mary Hart's voice.
Will he sneak in a plug for his new coffee table book?
Uh, I dunno ST, remember what happened when he did that on Regis & Cathy Lee's show?
Why was he even doing stand up? He is not a comic, he is a comedic actor with some experience in sketch comedy (Fridays) which he wasn't particularly funny.
What he is is the luckiest guy in the world. How many millions did he earn on that show? Sure, it was pretty funny, but not million-per-episode funny. He should just sit back on the beach and enjoy life, and not try to break into stand-up. Who wants to be in stand-up?
If Jerry says, "Michael, you shouldn't have called him a nigger ... not there's anything wrong with that." - DRINK
Bravo, Frydays!
It is funny to think that the Emmy Award winning-series "Monk" was written for Michael Richards in mind, but he passed on it. If his career was in the toilet before, it is clearly over now.
I wish Dave didn't have him on the show for this 'mea culpa'. Or I hope Dave humiliates him royally and kicks him off his show.
Wow, I had no idea about MONK being meant for Michael Richards. I've never seen the show, just watched Tony Shalhoub collect Emmy after Emmy after Emmy for it. Har!
Still, this MONK fact only lends credence to my theory that Michael Richards will tonight come clean about his lifelong battle with Tourette's. It's the only way for him to own the word "nigger" without being penalized for its inherent hatefulness.
Who's willing to jump in the MIchael-Richards-has-Tourette's betting pool with me?
I don't know, Jim, maybe Weird Al can bring him back as Stanley Spadowski.
If he starts listing his black friends and all he can come up with is the lawyer Jackie Chiles from his Seinfeld days, DRINK!
Mary Hart (the celebrity) has her legs insured for a million and her perky voice allegedly triggers epileptic crisis, but I could not find anything else that could look like a syndrome in the infos I got on her.
As for a Mary Hart who's linked to racism, there's always eugenist republican candidate James Hart... But I doubt she's got much to do with this case.
I think Comte got the wrong name.
No, I think you're confused. See the post above. Kramer HAD Mary Hart Syndrome on the show. That's what Mary Hart Syndrome IS: you have epileptic seizures when you hear Mary Hart's voice. Ah, forget it, you're thick. It was a good joke.
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