News The Morning News
posted by November 20 at 8:06 AM
onMADD: Anti-drunk driving group wants alcohol-detection devices in every car in America.
Iraq: Henry Kissinger declares winning the war impossible.
Irag: Pentagon lays out three options—stay, go, or, uh, sorta stay. Oddly, “lose” isn’t on the Pentagon’s list.
Bush: The man is hated every where he goes.
Global Warming: The Europeans are prepared to do something about it.
The Seinfeld Curse: Michael “Kramer” Richards curses black audience members who heckled him—uses the “n” word, and longs for days when uppity black audience members at comedy clubs were lynched.
Seattle Schools: Nickels urged to take control—and not just by the Stranger anymore.
Comments
broken global warming link
"People protest -- that's a good sign. It's a sign of a healthy society," Bush said.
Except in the US, of course. In the US, that's a sign that American citizens are terrorist sympathizers and should be demonized.
I woke up yesterday to the sound of Dr. Kissinger's voice discussing the progress of the war so far.
For just a moment I thought that maybe the last thirty years had just been a twisted nightmare.
I got up looking for my bell bottom pants and tie-died tee shirt, and wondered why there weren't any hippie chicks getting a loaf of spelt bread into the oven and offering a morning doob and hummer.
Then I rolled over and hit the alarm with my hook hand.
They could eliminate the whole problem by just installing an alcohol meter in the GPS tracking chip they'll soon be implanting in everybody at birth. They could crack down on underage drinking that way as well.
Think of the opportunities for poor people to earn money by waiting outside of bars and blowing into drunks' interlocks for them. Or drunks could just leave their motors running 24/7 like they do in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.
These MADD people are crazy. What we really should do is put a breathalizer at the bar, make you take it before you leave, and if you're drunk bars will pop up, surrounding you in a locked cage. That way, you couldn't drive, and would in essence be forced to drink more. That way, no one drives drunk and small businesses benefit.
I don't know why in every single discussion of drunk driving, public transportation is never mentioned. If everywhere in the US had reliable public transportation people wouldn't have to drive.
@6 - a happy day for me was when i learned that you can actually drink beer on the london underground en route to your next pub.
MADD is insane. What if you had a couple of beers and you or one of your party was injured or very sick - you couldn't drive to the hospital! Geeezus!
I think MADD just hates sitting judges.
MADD is a political tool, nothing more, nothing less. They drive legislation that is punative and law enforcement policies that step all over our civil liberties under the concept that anyone who opposes them must be FOR drunk driving or "easy" on crime. Unfortunately, they don't say anything about making cabs available or having public transportation that runs after 2am, but whatever. Who cares if one drink puts a woman over the limit and she has to wait outside at 2am in 30 degree weather for a cab that never comes?
I'm just bitter because I was pulled over IN MY DRIVEWAY and arrested fifteen feet away from my front door with a .08. A .08 that dropped to a .06 in the 20 minutes it took for them to take me to get a blood test and I still had to spend the night in jail.
Good times.
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