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1

It's interesting that he uses the meth to have sex with his wife. Interesting indeed.

Poor man.

Posted by Sachi | November 3, 2006 10:17 AM
2

If it's true.

Posted by Dan Savage | November 3, 2006 10:18 AM
3

Dan, what am I missing? Why do you keep making fun of how unattractive the accuser is? Seems mean and unrelated to the story.

Posted by Lola | November 3, 2006 10:20 AM
4

What about Dan Harris?! Kinda hunky - he needs to put out a sexy calendar.

Posted by Explorer | November 3, 2006 10:23 AM
5

yeah, the new pastor looks like rufus wainwright, only gayer.

Posted by konstantconsumer | November 3, 2006 10:24 AM
6

Wait: I'm not making fun the accuser's looks. I honestly think he's hot—my boyfriend and I watched the video together, and were like... "whoa, hot escort."

I'm not being sarcastic about this at all. I wished I looked that good when I was 29!

Posted by Dan Savage | November 3, 2006 10:25 AM
7

He does look good, but appears to have indulged in some "work". His skin is suspiciously tight and shiny.

This is a delicious scandal.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | November 3, 2006 10:30 AM
8

Well, the guy does have a great body--even as a pure-as-the-driven-snow lesbian, I can see that.

Posted by Lola | November 3, 2006 10:36 AM
9

I can't tell you how this scandal has brought me a certain amount of joy. I have an extra bounce in my step, I will admit. Perhaps I will get to a place of compassion...perhaps...but right now I am reveling in this beautiful outing of hypocrisy.

Posted by Stephanie | November 3, 2006 10:41 AM
10

oh, this is some brilliant stuff!

so many delicious elements -- the appropriately named pastor (haggard?! is johnny knoxville behind this?). his nelly substitute, ross parsley?! what kind of crazy ass drag name is that?

drug use, and not just any old drug but the scourge of america, crystal meth! the image of a beleaguered wife getting furiously nailed by her gakked out husband while he (presumably) fantasizes about college age boys.

and the icing on the cake: mike jones, a handsome paid escort who, at this point in the saga, seems credible. you don't carry on with someone for three years if all you are trying to do is blackmail or discredit them.

jones surely knows he'll be raked over the coals which, in my mind, further adds to his credibility. i don't think he would have spoken up if it weren't true. dude is a grown man.

all in all, a wonderful bit of perfectly timed drama. i don't know why people watch soap operas when there's great stuff like this out there.

Posted by kerri harrop | November 3, 2006 10:43 AM
11

One has to wonder if the good Rev. Ted has attended any Gideons Posse meetings with the Prayer Warrior.

Stephanie, I totally agree. I almost (but not quite) feel guilty that I've had a giggle bubbling just below the surface for the last day, just watching this all implode.

Posted by SDA in SEA | November 3, 2006 10:48 AM
12

Kerri Harrop,

I totally agree. We have to respect the tremendous courage it took Mike Jones to go public in a pseudo-theocracy like Colorado, plus dude is mighty fine as well. He’s also sacrificed his career since he probably won’t be able to do business in CO again.

I’m curious; do Evangelical Christians have any concept of hypocrisy? Is it beyond their comprehension?

These greedy men (Robertson, Falwell, Haggard, Driscoll, et al.) prey on their ignorance, fear, bigotry and gullibility, but do they even care?

I get the sense from reading the AP quotes from mega-church followers that they’re in such a state of mega-denial that Haggard could be banging the pool boy onstage during services and they wouldn’t acknowledge it.

Posted by Andrew | November 3, 2006 10:56 AM
13

"He confessed.good. God doesn't give a damn. However I,Satan, forgive him. Come ,yes, come to me preacher with those DSLs
give me blow jobs in hell for eternity.
side note: You morality spewing GOP hypocrites all are coming out of the closet like flies in heat. I got plenty of reservations down here with your names on it preachers. You Catholickers and Evantesticles are ass lovin fags like me mohahahaha"

Posted by NATAS | November 3, 2006 11:00 AM
14

"Some of the allegations are true"? Aren't there only TWO? He did meth and he paid for sex with a man?

I am having a hard time getting too gleeful about this - can't stop thinking about the 5 kids and being involuntarily dragged through this. I know, I know. It's this heart of mine - it won't stop bleeding.

Posted by Jason B | November 3, 2006 11:02 AM
15

I have no problem getting gleeful about it. None whatsoever. He deserves everything he gets.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | November 3, 2006 11:05 AM
16

Oh yeah, Ted shall reap what he sows...or plows in this case. My sympathy is solely for his kids.

Posted by Jason B | November 3, 2006 11:13 AM
17

The sad thing is I can't help but wonder how many new homo-haters were created by all this.

All he's going to do is apologize and blame the horrors of homosexuality and drug use. Sure us smart ones see through his bullshit but I'm willing to bet his "flock" buys whatever he tells them. "I know my actions don't jive with my beliefs but they are truly my beliefs and all the more reason we need to stamp out the homo agenda, etc etc etc."

Posted by monkey | November 3, 2006 11:23 AM
18

Maybe the kids will learn a valuable lesson about hypocrisy? I mean, I don't wish them ill, truly, but it's not the end of the world. Just compare it to all the gay kids who have been driven to suicide by the Jaysus people and their ilk.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | November 3, 2006 11:25 AM
19

the name of that GAY GAY GAY-acting pastor is "Ross Parsley." [hyphen willfully misinserted.] ROSS PARSLEY? if he's not gay, he got beat up on the playground every single day of his childhood.

Posted by annie | November 3, 2006 11:25 AM
20

agreed about the kids. hopefully, it will one day provide them with the strength to break away from the bullshit their parents have subjected them to.

Posted by kerri harrop | November 3, 2006 11:26 AM
21

How much you wanna bet that Haggard will admit to the meth use, but not the gay sex? This could be the explanation for the “some of the allegations are true” statement. However, how you rationally justify that your drug contact was a gay male escort…that is a tough one.

In addition, though the family is likely going through hell at this moment, in the end I feel it is better they know the truth. His kids will be better off knowing their Dad as a flawed man then a freaking self-righteous demi-god. Self-hatred kills love. If Haggard comes to term with his sexuality (not unlike Governor James McGreevey has) then all this is worth it. Not easy, but worth it.

Posted by Stephanie | November 3, 2006 11:28 AM
22

I thought Colorado was the land of mountain men, not men mountin' men.

Posted by Seth | November 3, 2006 11:28 AM
23

"South Park is going to give this all the love we think it needs. MMMM baby lick my vanilla cream balls you sinners. Jaythus Chriiist"
The GOP must repent.......to be cont.

Posted by NATAS | November 3, 2006 11:39 AM
24

hey monkey @ #17
i know it's a specious jump, but in the light of the last few weeks ( mcgreevey book tour, foley, haggard) i'm beginning to wonder if homophobia really IS homosexuality in some hate filled drag. if pastor phelps gets outed i'm gonna so shit my panties.
smelt=dealt indeed !

Posted by riz | November 3, 2006 11:43 AM
25

come on guys... it was ony a massage and he threw the meth away ;)

Posted by Forney | November 3, 2006 11:53 AM
26

update on the PI:
"Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

'I bought it for myself but never used it,' he said. 'I was tempted, but I never used it.'"

however, about the phone message:
"'Hi Mike, this is Art,' one call began, according to the station. 'Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply.'"

*more*?

Posted by Gnarr | November 3, 2006 11:53 AM
27

good catch there, gnarr.

Posted by roots | November 3, 2006 12:00 PM
28

Now it's all about seeing exactly how much lying he can get away with:
"Well, I threw the meth away. Well, yes, he fucked me in the ass a few dozen times, but I didn't come."

Posted by Mark Mitchell | November 3, 2006 12:01 PM
29

Okay, maybe I can work up an eentsy teensy bit of sympathy for his kids.

But you know what? Something like 45% of the homeless street kids in Seattle self identify as gay (a statistic drawn from memory from years ago working with Youth Care; the number may not be current), and the rate of suicide amongst gay kids is astronomical. And it's asshole hypocrites like Haggard and the bullshit they spew from the pulpit that are the root cause of much of that.

I'll bet you a dollar that at least 5 kids have committed suicide as a direct result of hearing his homophobic sermons week after week. I'll bet you a dollar that at least 50 kids have been kicked out of their homes, or have had to flee because their parents listened to his homophobic sermons week after week.

Think about that before you get all weepy over what his kids are now going to go through.

Posted by SDA in SEA | November 3, 2006 12:08 PM
30

I'm waiting for the inevitable, "I did NOT have sexual relations with that man!" dodge (oops - looks like we're already pretty close to that phase!), and the right wing's subsequent assertions that any comparison to Clinton are, "dishonest, offensive, and untrue", along with their mouth-frothing demands of apologies from anyone who dares suggest there are any similarities between the two.

Maybe Jones can produce a stained pair of bluejeans for our edification?

Posted by COMTE | November 3, 2006 12:12 PM
31

Remember that evangelical Christians do not claim to be free of sin.

The good reverend will be able to make a tearful admission of weakness and apologize, and beg for forgiveness, and if he's any good at his job he'll be able to turn it around and use it to show that this just proves that Satan is working overtime tempting him, because he knows how many souls he saves with the help of your generous contributions. Etc.

Posted by Fnarf | November 3, 2006 12:29 PM
32

" Jaythus Christ "
side note: from known evidence,studies ,users,abusers, discovery channel etc etc Meth enhances ones abiltiy to make judgements even though profound they are still pshychologically sound and inwardly reflect as well as outwardly reflect on ones own soul and inhibitions,exspecially with a first time user, more so than a sober mind.
et al...
So he really wanted the DICK is all i'm saying..............

Posted by NATAS | November 3, 2006 12:37 PM
33

SDA @ 29: i'm pretty sure those numbers are even higher. i'm an active supporter of youthcare and am also going by memory of their current statistics.

off topic but relevant to the kids discussion: equally heartbreaking is the number of kids on the street that have suffered sexual abuse. i believe that percentile is somewhere around 80%.

back to the haggard channel: fnarf nails it with the love the sinner, hate the sin angle. if temporary pastor nelly mcqueen has any business acumen, he'll get t-shirts printed up and pass them out to the congregation, stat.

Posted by kerri harrop | November 3, 2006 1:04 PM
34

kerri harrop: You have me dying in here!!!
"Pastor Nelly McQueen", the soap opera that wrote itself??!!


Me and boyfriend have been texting all day this and the Borat movie are going to MAKE this weekend for us and Bill Maher

Posted by Q | November 3, 2006 1:15 PM
35

I watched the video before I saw your comments below it, and had the exact same thoughts about the replacement pastor. Hmm.

Anyway, closet-cases are sad, sad, sad.

Posted by Violet_DaGrinder | November 3, 2006 3:15 PM
36

oh look on that cool milf womans inside

Posted by milf seeker | November 18, 2006 5:38 AM
37

Twistys Presents: Eva Shine

Posted by eva shine | November 22, 2006 1:39 AM

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