Life Sex on a plane
posted by November 15 at 12:01 PMon
A new form of terror, or innocent homeopathic remedy?
A couple’s ill-concealed sexual play aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles got them charged with violating the Patriot Act, intended for terrorist acts, and could land them in jail for 20 years.
“Persing was observed nuzzling or kissing Sewell on the neck, and … with his face pressed against Sewell’s vaginal area. During these actions, Sewell was observed smiling,” reads the indictment filed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
On a second warning from the flight attendant, Persing snapped back threatening the flight attendant with “serious consequences” if he did not leave them alone.
The comment was enough to have the couple, both in their early 40s, arrested when the plane reached its destination in Raleigh, North Carolina, and charged with obstructing a flight attendant and with criminal association.
According to his lawyer: Persing suffers from a chronic disease requiring medication that makes him drowsy, dizzy and irritable.
A chronic disease which recalled Persing’s head to his partner’s vagina like a homing pigeon, because everyone knows that nuzzling vaginas is a motherfucking cure-all. Bad day at the office? Stick your head in a vagina. Chronic migraine got you down? Tea-cozy that sucker. It’s why I do pilates.
My sympathies lie with the supposed “terrorists”. Here’s hoping both defendants find vaginas to console themselves in during this difficult time.