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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Red Alert! WalMart Endangered by Gay Conspiracy!

posted by on November 21 at 12:24 PM

From the people who brought you Operation Rescue and Operation Save America comes a new work: Save WalMart!.

Yes, yes, yes, the abortion clinic harassing campaign — they’re the people who sit outside clinics snapping photos of every car in the parking lot — is getting a little weary (“Operation Rescue has never been tied to a violent crime! - NOT ONE!!” the website defensively declares) so now the reliable wingnuts are fueling their hero fantasies by protecting America’s largest employer from the demands of “diversity.”

They are being forced by the “politically correct” dogma (abortion, homosexuality, etc) of our day to accept his terms. If one chooses to defy this dogma, he will be forever branded as a right-wing, bigoted fascist, bent on forcing his own religion (Christianity) down everyone else’s throat.

Now Satan has Wal-Mart in his line of fire! This legacy of faith and love for Jesus Christ by Mr. Walton is being trashed before our very eyes!

After being lambasted for years by the anti-family, pro-abortion, pro-homosexual, radical environmental left, Wal-Mart has finally succumbed to this constant harassment and blackmail. She has now chosen a policy of appeasement to assuage all of the false accusations leveled against her in hopes that the devil will somehow stop being so mean. It is sad to say that Wal-Mart has joined the The National Gay & Lesbian, Chamber of Commerce.

Their last stand for Freedom takes place the day after Thanksgiving, when Operation Save WalMart promises to deploy to 300 store locations. At their website, activists and snickering liberals can download fliers like:
sodomy!.jpg

The website doesn’t list the 300 WalMart locations, however, and they haven’t sent anything to their mailing list recently (of course I’m a member!) so I’m skeptical they’ll actually see the turn out they’re hyping. In any case, right wingers screaming about sodomy at families walking into WalMart on November 24th will be an exciting little vacation from all typical Christmas carolers.

RSS icon Comments

1

It's nice to know that Jesus smiles on worker exploitation, including sex slavery and forced abortions on the Marianas islands.

Posted by keshmeshi | November 21, 2006 12:36 PM
2

So, wait, lemme see if I understand this: it wasn't Satan's influence that caused Wal-Mart to treat their employees like slaves, drive their competitors out of business, bully their suppliers into bankruptcy, and deal with regimes whose human rights record is only marginally better than Pol Pot's. But it IS Satan's influence that causes a global multinational to not want to ignore the shopping dollars of 10-20% of the population?

I'm so confused. I could SWEAR that Christ denounced greed, not homosexuality...their Bibles must have a different New Testament from mine.

Posted by Geni | November 21, 2006 12:37 PM
3

I want a "Wal-Mart Supports Sodomy" t-shirt!!!

On the back it can say, "and so do I" with a smiling happy face.

Posted by monkey | November 21, 2006 12:38 PM
4

Oh, and everyone's known for years that Wal-Mart supports sodomizing their suppliers and employees.

I really can't figure out why they have decided that this particular global multinational deserves their "help" to be "saved" - I'm trying to picture a similar "Save IBM" or "Save Ford" campaign. What is it about Wal-Mart that makes these people think that particular corporation is in possession of some sort of soul?!

Posted by Geni | November 21, 2006 12:40 PM
5

Man, I LOVE referring to Wal-Mart as "she." Can we all start doing that regularly?
Did you hear about Wal-Mart? She is having a sale on tube socks!

Posted by Misty Brown | November 21, 2006 12:58 PM
6

OMG I laughed when I saw that flier.

UNREAL.

Posted by Gomez | November 21, 2006 1:00 PM
7

What department is sodomy in? I'm guessing Sundries.

Posted by elswinger | November 21, 2006 1:04 PM
8

That Jesus is one hate-filled dude, I gather.

Posted by Fnarf | November 21, 2006 1:14 PM
9

That graphic is amazing. Looks like it's the first time for Mr. Happyface.

Posted by Dougsf | November 21, 2006 1:16 PM
10

Give me a break. When given a choice between cheap electronics and supporting "Christian" values, Americans will always pick the electronics.

And I am so tired of the term "politically correct". It's used on both the right and the left, and it's just shorthand for people who are too stupid to come up with a reasoned arguement.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | November 21, 2006 1:21 PM
11

Elswinger: Sodomy is between the brooms and Rubbermaid.

I think we that are *of the homosexual persuasion* should all download those signs and *take over* the campaign. I think I could be Wal-Mart's bestest buddy since Frank Chopp.

Posted by Dave Coffman | November 21, 2006 1:36 PM
12

I like the flier that says "Wal-Mart Betrayed Jesus Christ!"

Yeah! Judas was framed by the corporatocracy!

Posted by BC | November 21, 2006 1:38 PM
13

Sodomy at Walmart can be found in the tool deparment. Depending on power needs, the econo sized sodomy can usally be found above the pole diggers. The most powerful sodomy for 2007 can be found on the floor next to the wet/dry vacs.


But social conscience folks don't get there sodomy from Walmart anyways... the local, down-home sodomy as made by a Mom & Pop outfit using tradional methods and techniques is best. But, its always buyer beware when it comes to sodomy, isn't it?

Posted by The Peanut Gallery | November 21, 2006 1:49 PM
14

Peanut Gallery- I would argue that the social conscience folks get their sodomy in secret, usually in places like the plant department where they can hide amongst the trees. Then again, if you're a preacher you should make sure a supply of meth is available... something that is usually found around a Wal-Mart, but not inside.

Posted by Dave Coffman | November 21, 2006 2:06 PM
15

You can't even get 220-volt sodomy at Wal-Mart; for that you need to go to Sears.

Posted by Fnarf | November 21, 2006 2:06 PM
16

Judas works over in Shoes. Ask him about boots.

Posted by Gomez | November 21, 2006 2:41 PM
17

Sodomy Blow Out Sale!
Boys pants, half off!

Posted by monkey | November 21, 2006 3:07 PM
18

Now I'm laughing!

Posted by Fnarf | November 21, 2006 4:03 PM
19

I'd go with Sears. I think they still carry Kenmore.

Posted by elswinger | November 21, 2006 4:22 PM
20

"Now Satan has Wal-Mart in his line of fire! This legacy of faith and love for Jesus Christ by Mr. Walton is being trashed before our very eyes!"

somebody do something before its too late!!

oh and i believe sodomy can be found in the employee lounge, near the paystubs.

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