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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

O.J. is a Vicious Killer. Hypothetically.

posted by on November 15 at 9:40 AM

Just when FOX TV started whining like a baby over the fact no one watches their network anymore, they scored the “killer” interview of the century. In an exclusive interview, O.J. SIMPSON will describe how he murdered his former wife—HYPOTHETICALLY. Not that he really killed her, mind you. But if he HAD, this is how he would have done it. All together now… BRRRRRRRRRRRRR…

Check out a clip of the interview here, and tune in on Nov 27th and 29th for the two-part interview. Afterwards you’ll be wanting to take the longest shower of your life, so start conserving hot water now.


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What kind of a sick society do we live in that would allow this? It makes me wonder if its time for evolution to get moving on the inevitable, and just wipe us off the face of the earth already.

Posted by Matthew | November 15, 2006 9:56 AM

I can not believe that this is not a joke.

Posted by Ivan Cockrum | November 15, 2006 9:58 AM

The Publicity Stunt of the Century.

He's going to be interviewed by "noted publisher" Judith Regan.

He was a book coming out called "If I Did It."

The book will go on sale Thursday, 11/30 (the day after the interview) and be published under the REGAN imprint.

So we have a "no-holds-barred" interview with his own publisher the day before she publishes his book. Yeesh.

Posted by Tone | November 15, 2006 9:58 AM

Oh, and ReganBooks is a division of HarperCollins, which is part of the News Corporation, which of course also owns FOX. So everybody wins.

Posted by Tone | November 15, 2006 10:03 AM

This clip is far more disturbing/disgusting than the "She poos clouds" clip.

I seriously feel like I am going to throw up.

Posted by Johnny | November 15, 2006 10:04 AM

How will he ever explain this to his children (as they attempt to hide under their beds)?

Option A:
I didn't really kill your mom, but I just really needed to exploit her death with a shocking TV special. Try not to let it bother you when I linger on all of the gruesome details, first-person style. Hey, this is just showbusiness.

Option B:
Like they say "It ain't braggin if you done it." My TV special isn't really exploitive - it's my confession of a teeny-weeny ultra-violent disagreement I had with your mom. And, I've always told you kids, honesty (after the trials are done) is the best policy. Right?

Posted by Sean | November 15, 2006 10:04 AM

i can neither confirm nor deny that i shit in the tub. but IF I DID, you might want to jump out.

Posted by tenspeed | November 15, 2006 10:06 AM

Could this possibly be real?

This would have fit in perfectly in that movie "Network". The writers said they were not trying to make an absurd film, but to show reality, and that is why it is so good, and so disturbing.

I read the George Clooney is remaking "Network", He should add this into the script!

Posted by Jude Fawley | November 15, 2006 10:27 AM

This is so sweet Hump!

Calling all ACTORS (you too Keanu), O.J. is about to school the nation once again. You must be good Liar in the media today in order to get an honest wage.

Posted by advertise! | November 15, 2006 10:32 AM

the strange thing is that someone - check - MANY someones - told OJ that this was a GOOD IDEA.

Posted by steve | November 15, 2006 10:32 AM

This is so disgusting. I wish the network shows would stop talking about it and in turn promoting it. Sucks all the way around.

Posted by Suz | November 15, 2006 10:48 AM

Headlines of the Future (2020):

"Ooops, how we 'hypothetically'killed our dad with a rusty Chainsaw!!"--Sydney and Justin Simpson

"Yes, my dad's a big closety freak: who cares?"--Suri Cruise

Posted by michael strangeways | November 15, 2006 10:51 AM

i lived just down the street from nicole's house during this time period. i cannot believe this is happening. the man is insane and a murderer. judith regan's credibility has hit an all-time low. when will he go away??? let these people rest in peace. please.

Posted by k | November 15, 2006 10:57 AM

Unbelievably nauseating. Just when I thought it was impossible to be shocked anymore.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | November 15, 2006 11:09 AM

I hope there's a way for the lawyers to take this money away from the bastard. He should be pushing a shopping cart full of excrement alongside the freeway.

Posted by Fnarf | November 15, 2006 11:23 AM

Isn't America wonderful?

Where else can you kill your wife, be found guilty in a civil trial, and make money by talking about it, without serving a jail term, just because you're rich and famous?

Seriously, where?

Posted by Will in Seattle | November 15, 2006 11:45 AM
Posted by smiller | November 15, 2006 11:51 AM

I think Confession: Good for the Soul Wallet by Mark Evanier covers most of what's worth thinking about on this subject.

Posted by Neil | November 15, 2006 2:26 PM

Anybody up for printing a few hundred slips of paper reading "if you bought this book, you're an asshole", and surreptitiously slipping them into bookstore copies?

Posted by Fnarf | November 15, 2006 6:53 PM

well - not to be flip - but it sounds like a stranger contest

fox network knows how to milk the cow one more time - macabre is the only word

creative in its own niche

Posted by Jay | November 16, 2006 9:08 AM

How about I start a webpage called "How could I kill OJ If I Wanted to"

Posted by steve | November 17, 2006 12:47 PM

OJ is a psycho and Fox is sleazy, we knew this. the one who really makes me toss my lunch is Judith Regan the publisher.

Will someone please post a synopsis of the book confession on the internet so that anyone who wants to buy the book will just read it online for free? That way no one will actually line this turbo-bitch's pockets.

Posted by tony | November 18, 2006 4:46 PM

Now that the book has been canceled it seems that at least one copy fell through the cracks and is now up to $65,300 on Ebay!

Posted by steady | November 22, 2006 5:14 PM

Whoops, I guess bids have been retracted now that a 2nd book has surfaced. $65,300 has slid to $885 and the 2nd book is at $1775.I predict many more review and advance copies will come to light.

Posted by steady | November 22, 2006 7:26 PM

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