Arts National Novel Writing Month, Week One
posted by on November 7 at 12:55 PM
For some inexplicable reason, I found myself surprised by the blogosphere’s whiny response to National Novel Writing Month. (Why I’d ever find myself surprised by the blogosphere’s whiny response to anything remains a mystery.) Gawker, which recently hired two new writers who seem to think they’re working for Vice Magazine, snarked:
We’ve always been unimpressed with the people who trumpet their participation in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which as far as we can tell involves telling everyone you know (usually via your blog) that you’re writing a novel in a month, woohoo, way to go you. Seriously, it’s almost as tiresome as people who think they’re all special for sprinting through five boroughs. Color us not impressed.
And on the usually level-headed Bookninja, the best that could be managed was a weary sigh:
If it keeps you off the streets, I suppose it’s for the best.
Yes, well. Excuse me. There is a salient point that needs to be made—while searching for the above posts, I discovered that there are people who are blogging their entire novels, and that simply needs to stop. What National Novel Writing Month is not is a big ‘eff you’ to the editorial process, or a big ‘hell yeah’ to the (shudder) self-publishing world. It’s just a way to get something done that would never have been done otherwise. It’s for people who swear they have a novel inside of them to bang it out. As long as they don’t inflict the results on people, who’s getting hurt by this?
That said, there are those who would say that when I announced that I’d post updates on Slog about my novel-writing progress, I was violating that “No show, no tell” policy. To those people, I’d say: don’t click on the link below to read my favorite bit of dialogue from my novel so far. Seriously. You’d have to go out of your way to roll your eyes, and that could result in a nasty strain.
I'm at about fifteen thousand words right now, but, by far, my favorite sentence, dialogue or no, is:
"Lady,” said the bus driver, scratching at his moustache and staring straight into the void of her sunglasses, "I think the question is, what's your monkey done to us?”
This thing is never getting published, but I want to cross-stitch that sentence on a pillow so I can drool on it forever.
I did NaNoWriMo back in 2001 with some friends-- the three of us set out to write the most horrible novels possible, choosing for the purposes the genres of romance, fantasy, and chick lit. None of us made it to the 50,000 word goal, but it was loads of fun. Good luck with yours-- 15,000 words already is a damn good start!
props for "void of her sunglasses." keep up the good work.
Both those stuck-up little shits can go teabag Ted Haggard.
I'm at 10,000 words, which is as long as anything I've written in my life. I think this is my favorite bit so far:
"Henry went back to his desk, and paused for a second, looking over the phone records. The number, 1-900-468-7588, surely was an anagram for something, and he spent a minute or two trying to figure out what it could be, until, sighing, he picked up his desk phone and dialed the number.
“Hi there, fella!” The automatic voice on the other end squealed, “You’ve just called 1900-HOTSLUT, and it’s SO nice to hear from you!”
Henry sighed. Hot slut. He could’ve figured that out. He was good at scrabble and word games."
Gawker and Bookninja bloggers: I'm sorry you have writer's block exacerbated by self-loathing, but work it out with a drinking problem on your own time (and good luck at National Drunken Writing Night next year, poseurs!). But Paul, do I detect a bee in your bonnet as well? "What National Novel Writing Month is not is a big ‘eff you’ to the editorial process, or a big ‘hell yeah’ to the (shudder) self-publishing world." If someone wants to post his or her entire novel, why not? I agree it's fucking lame (God, no one's going to buy the cow at that rate, people!) and wouldn't do it myself. But if someone wants to, good for that person, it's not against the rules. Maybe it's not an eff you or a hell yeah, but something else entirely. Who knows? And really, who cares? My point is: keep up the rockin' pace on your novel! I say keep the bonnet (it's smashing!), lose the bee, and spend at least some of those 35,000 remaining words explaining why the bus driver grew a moustache, and if the monkey made him do it. ;)
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