Life Confessions From a Straight Past (Or, How I Once Made Out With LA’s Dopest Attorney)
posted by November 22 at 11:35 AMon
You see, gentle blog reader, there was a time when I kissed a woman or two, including the one above, who now defends pot-heads in Los Angeles and was recently portrayed on the front-page of the LA Times as “LA’s Dopest Attorney.”
It’s a funny thing to be gay and yet feel a sort of pride at the beautiful woman you once made out with in your freshman dorm room. But armchair psychologists take note: That’s exactly what I felt while reading about “LA’s Dopest Attorney” and how her clients lust after her, how she is trailed by two young men who answer her phone and clean out her car, how she puts her plunging necklines to good strategic use, and how, with her legal practice taking off, she now aspires to wear “only Chanel” and “make a lot of money.”
Am I still attracted to her? Am I jealous of her gaggle of fawning men? Am I thrilled that homely straight boys everywhere might now be jealous of me for having once landed a woman they can only dream of, and worse for the homely straight boys, a woman I myself never really dreamed of? Sorry, I’m saving it for the tell-all.
Confidential to Allison: You go, girl!
Confidential to life: What does it mean that she’s defending pot-heads while I’m working for them?
Confidential to straight Slog readers: Eat your hearts out…