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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Confessions From a Straight Past (Or, How I Once Made Out With LA’s Dopest Attorney)

posted by on November 22 at 11:35 AM

While we’re talking about pot and pictures that bring back memories, holy shit, did I just see a picture that brought me way back. And in the LA Times no less!


You see, gentle blog reader, there was a time when I kissed a woman or two, including the one above, who now defends pot-heads in Los Angeles and was recently portrayed on the front-page of the LA Times as “LA’s Dopest Attorney.”

It’s a funny thing to be gay and yet feel a sort of pride at the beautiful woman you once made out with in your freshman dorm room. But armchair psychologists take note: That’s exactly what I felt while reading about “LA’s Dopest Attorney” and how her clients lust after her, how she is trailed by two young men who answer her phone and clean out her car, how she puts her plunging necklines to good strategic use, and how, with her legal practice taking off, she now aspires to wear “only Chanel” and “make a lot of money.”

Am I still attracted to her? Am I jealous of her gaggle of fawning men? Am I thrilled that homely straight boys everywhere might now be jealous of me for having once landed a woman they can only dream of, and worse for the homely straight boys, a woman I myself never really dreamed of? Sorry, I’m saving it for the tell-all.

Confidential to Allison: You go, girl!

Confidential to life: What does it mean that she’s defending pot-heads while I’m working for them?

Confidential to straight Slog readers: Eat your hearts out…

RSS icon Comments


Rowrrr! She's Hott! So not fair!

In other news: how high was she during that interview?

Posted by david | November 22, 2006 11:33 AM

Yeah, she is pretty hot. I dig the big guns. My question is, did you JUST kiss her or did she take out them funbags for you?

Posted by Mike in MO | November 22, 2006 11:47 AM

Big deal. So you made out with a hippie.

Posted by heywhatsit | November 22, 2006 11:49 AM

A hippie? Hell no. She's mighty mighty.

Posted by Fnarf | November 22, 2006 12:11 PM


Posted by sniff | November 22, 2006 12:18 PM


Posted by sniff | November 22, 2006 12:18 PM

"Funbags", Mike in MO?


Posted by Paulus | November 22, 2006 12:30 PM

There's gold above them thar hills.

Posted by Slip Mahoney | November 22, 2006 12:40 PM

Funbags, tits, knockers, jugs, dirty pillows...slang is fun.

Posted by Mike in MO | November 22, 2006 12:50 PM

Not so much for those who actually have them.

However, it's pretty funny in "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" and their friends are obsessed with boobies.

Posted by Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! | November 22, 2006 4:31 PM

I'm sorry, where you saying something? I was thinking about boobies. Mmm.

Posted by Fnarf | November 22, 2006 6:43 PM

Well, I dunno, maybe she's gotten better looking since college (that does happen to some people, I guess) but -- not to be mean or anything -- she was hardly one of the hot girls at Columbia. She was ok...but I certainly wouldn't brag about having kissed Allison Margolin.

Posted by alma mater | November 22, 2006 7:10 PM

Sure she's cute, but what's important is her work. I'd be happy to have briefly hooked up with somebody who fights the good fight for people who don't have much support in this country. She's awesome for that alone. I hope the guy in the video wins his case.

Posted by Jamey | November 23, 2006 8:43 AM

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