News Haggard on Marriage: “First find a person of the opposite sex…”
posted by on November 3 at 14:33 PM
The secrets to a happy married life, according to Ted Haggard. (You can watch the video here.)
First of all, you find a person of the opposite sex, and you make a life-long commitment to them. Once you’ve made that life-long commitment, it will start to produce fruit. The vast majority of marriages, where couples love one another and enjoy one another and get a kick out of each other—the vast majority produce children. And then enjoy your children!Some of our family meals take three hours—because, well, our kids are telling stories, and mom is bringing food.
I’m sure that dinner will take hours at the Haggard place tonight—because daddy has so much explaining to do. More from the tape…
It’s true. If people want to be selfish, if people want to be greedy… it makes marriages tough.
We can add this to the list of things that make marriage tough: “…if pastors want massages from naked men and use crystal meth and lie to their wives, children, and followers, and then stump for anti-gay marriage laws, that can also make marriage tough.”
On the bright side, Haggard is going to have a lot more time to enjoy his children.
Marriage.. you'll never go hungry again!
"And then enjoy your children! Some of our family meals take three hours"
mmm...children.
His marriage certainly produced at least one fruit.
I hope his children didn't take anything their father said about homos too much to heart. Now that they've got a gay dad and all, it would be nice if they could be supportive and shit.
Oh man his FACE is so GAY
For some vintage Pastor Ted, check this out. The part about New Life starts about 6 minutes in.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/pages/descriptions/97/77.html
Sure, he'll have more time with his kids, if he doesn't flip out, shoot his family and then himself, in some good old-fashioned wingnut housecleaning...
Who amongst us has not bought crystal meth from a gay prostitute?
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Of course it's lovely that a powerful hypocrite has been exposed.
But I look at Ted Haggard and I feel very sad, because I can't even imagine the depths of self loathing it would take to produce such a monster.
Multiply that times all the fucked up families who are raising gay children in a similar environment. It's "The Boys in the Band" on endless playback, and becoming a powerful hypocrite is only one possible outcome for the damaged.
WAY too much focus on "of the opposite sex" - the guy gave off closet gay vibes like crazy.
As do most of the closeted gay Repubs in Congress and the White House.
David, I couldn't agree more. Why does this country do such a number on gay kids that some of them grow up to be Ted Haggard? Could he be feeling any more wretched and lonely today than he's probably felt every day of his life? Which doesn't excuse his persecuting people, but still... When will Americans stop being hysterical on this topic? I only hope scandals like these will help make JUST CHILLING OUT ABOUT IT a more attractive option.
By the way, Haggard's featured in "Jesus Camp" - which, if you haven't seen, I highly recommend.
That "This American Life" episode is a classic, one of my all-time favorites. This new perspective adds even more depth to it.
Wow, someone could write a book about the tormented war that goes on in these gay men between their natural selves and their warped goals and fantasies. Add Haggard to the list that includes:
Foley
McGreevy
Jim West
…
J. Edgar Hoover
Who else? And these are only the famous ones!
BRH,
Add: all gay republicans
Maybe its just my overwhelming desire to watch fucks like Haggard twist in the wind but I think it would have been a nice touch if Mike Jones would have describe the sex in great detail... It makes you wonder: Is Haggard a top or a bottom? What does he love more riming ass or sucking cock? Did enjoy smoking the meth Jones had gotten him or did he prefer to rail it of his dick? These are all question I'm sure "pastor Ted’s" flock (thats Latin for dumb fucks) would love to know the answers to… If nothing else I’m sure is wife would be interested.
SDA:
Generally, gay Republicans who are comfortable with their sexuality, have healthy relationships, but whose political dispositions align themselves with the GOP, e.g. role of Govt, taxes, foreign policy, etc., -- do not fit this list.
You mean, a hugely expanded role for Government, insane deficits, and a three-pronged foreign policy that involves beating the shit out of countries you think are weaker than you, with no plan or even interest in what happens afterward, for one; selling off the country to Chinese bankers on the other -- bankers who are now dictating US policy on North Korea, for two; and performing indispensable recruiting and armament deals with the terrorists who are trying to kill us, for three. That's what you meant by "the GOP", right?
The reason there is a taboo against gay sex in most cultures is because it is such a common subconscious desire. You don't see taboos on jumping off buildings. As a married man who also likes sex with guys, I am bisexual, I like the emotional & sexual relationship with my wife, and sex with guys is like "contact sports" - action, agression, fraternity, but there is also a sex payoff in it - once you lose the taboo boundry.
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