Life Because I Hate Fun
posted by November 23 at 14:57 PM
onAn alternate take on Thanksgiving:
Thanksgiving. It’s one of those execrable Christian holidays, such as the 4th of July, Christmas, or a wedding, when all Americans suddenly become insensible of any guiding principle except an enormous cultural pressure to capitulate unquestioningly to the demands of patriarchal theo-consumerist tradition. In the case of Thanksgiving, blind adherence to custom requires the uncompromising conformist to binge on cloying, pedestrian “comfort” food cooked for 3 days by women, while men watch TV.Then the women go shopping.
Horribly, Thanksgiving’s repellent foodly intemperance is nearly always presented at some weird, un-dinner-like hour of the afternoon, then it’s back to the TV for the patriarchs, and back to the scullery for the womenfolk, where they scour off the carbonized substrate of the sugary sweet potato-marshmallow pie, wrap in foil the remains of the enhormoned, tortured Butterball, tuck into Tupperware the green been casserole made with Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup and French’s Fried Onions, and chuck out the untouched can-shaped cylinder of Ocean Spray “cranberry sauce” that nobody understands, eats, or can live without. Afterward, everybody either falls comatose or writhes, suffering varying degrees of physical and emotional distress, on such seating usually a small needlepoint footstool or one of the dining room chairs as has not been previously commandeered by the football-watching males.
This ritual gluttony, which spikes pretty high on the Blame-O-Meter owing to its particular dependence on sex-based apartheid, is observed ostensibly to commemorate the patriarchally-approved European god-myths surrounding the so-called First Thanksgiving.
There’s morelots more. Enjoy!
Comments
The link doesn't work. The excerpt sounds written by a radical lesbian who hates men and has a stick up her butt ugly ass.
I second the motion of the author of the piece.
Sincerely,
A radical homosexual who has a stick up his butt ugly ass and doesnt think that men fitting the description are worthy of defending
Its okay if you desire penises now, sue. We forgive you. Get over it.
Fixed. Also, one could argue that all asses are "butt ugly." But I digress.
Anyone who thinks that a Thanksgiving dinner consists of cranberry sauce from a cylinder, Campbell's soup and marshmallowed yams and is prepared solely by slaving joyless women, doesn't know shit about Thanksgiving and obviously needs to be invited over for a real one.
The proper meal should consist of meat rendered from the butchered bodies of indigenous people, wrapped up in the legend of religious persecution and served with a side dish of mercantilist gravy - and - naturally - it should be served by slaves.
Non-whites only need apply for the positions.
Let's really honor our roots. Why shy away from it.
Long live the triangular trade!!!!!
So many women are ruined by this type of juvenile dorm room feminism. It's really heartbreaking.
ruined?
as opposed to just sucking it up without any critical thought?
dad usually cooks all the dinner. mom bakes da pies.
i don't know what the hell this article is talking about. maybe it's an east coast thang.
Having spent two days cleaning, brining, washing, broiling, roasting, and carving a massive turkey (all while accidentally melting down one meat thermometer), I find it hilarious that apparently because I have a penis I'm to blame for everything.
Of course, since I am Native American, I can just persecute myself.
"Hey look! I'm a LIBERAL WHITE PERSON! I know SO MUCH about native peoples that I will wave a bloody shirt for them! Oh, the blood? It's MINE! Why are you questioning whether I'm a native or not, you bigot?"
There are some women out there that like to cook. There are some women who like to cook horrible things that they are quite proud of, and have no idea how horrible they are.
My sister-in-law is one of them. She make things for Thanksgiving like velvetta macaroni & Cheese and Stovetop stuffing and marshmellow and yam pie, and she serves it all in foil from the dollar store.
But it makes her happy, and her husband and her kid adore her, and they're all thankful for each other, so that's the important thing.
Sorry if that sounds sappy - I detest cheap sentiment - but the whole beaten down womyn thing got on my nerves.
I dont know about the history, but our thanksgivings were usually preety balanced. We either did it potluck style or we went out and had some poor soul at a restaurant do the cooking. For the last few years I have been doing the cooking though. The "men watch tv while women slave" thing seems not to be the case for everyone.
This is a bunch of hoo-hah based on someone`s unhappy childhood. In my family, as it happens, the cooking tasks were shared, while most of the abandonment, manipulation and emotional abuse towards spouses and children was exerted on the part of the women. But I wouldn`t dare, like the author of this strident bullshit, assume that is the case for every household in the nation.
However, not the least disturbing subtext of the holiday is that it might also be called, "Thank you, God, for making the Indians so easy to kill so that we could enjoy our position on top of the world economy, for now".
For the 6th consecutive year, I cooked my thanksgiving dinner, 9 pound turkey, mashed potatoes and all, by myself.
Clearly I do so because I hate women or something :P
I'm a woman, I spent all day cooking a Thanksgiving feast and I had a blast. My husband did all the cleaning. It has always been hip or p.c. or whatever to hate Thanksgiving, but come on people! What the hell is wrong with enjoying a big pile of food?!
And while I appreciate organic free range turkey and whole cranberry sauce, I like a good trashy sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, too! Yum!
I'm a woman, I spent all day cooking a Thanksgiving feast and I had a blast. My husband did all the cleaning. It has always been hip or p.c. or whatever to hate Thanksgiving, but come on people! What the hell is wrong with enjoying a big pile of food?!
And while I appreciate organic free range turkey and whole cranberry sauce, I like a good trashy sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, too! Yum!
I should mention that I - a man - cooked the Thanksgiving dinner myself, as I usually do (my partner always has to work on Thanksgiving day) and as I type this, I'm waiting for the final load to finish up in the dishwasher. The counters are clean, the floor is mopped, and it was all done happily by me.
When my dad was still alive, it would be my mom and I in the kitchen cooking (and cleaning up), while my Dad and sister sat in the living room watching TV. But we liked it that way. There was no "partriarchy" involved in it.
Has anyone else noticed a formula to Erica Barnett's posts? It seems to go as follows:
"_______ is/are sexist. Men are oppressors. Women are victims."
We've seen the Halloween and Thanksgiving editions, and soon we'll see the Christmas version, and maybe MLK birthday edition after that (MLK was, afterall, first and foremost a sexist). In the "pointing out obvious" department, we've seen several provocative editions targeting (gasp!) rapists.
How about filling in the blank with "Stupid writers who post shallow, formulaic crap under the banner of feminism"?
Hm, let's try it.
The viaduct is sexist. Men are oppressors. Women are victims.
That's kinda weird. I'm sure there's some sort of metaphor in that, if you're willing to dig.
I'm not. I've got some pumpkin pie with my name on it. Gotta run.
Every year my mom and I cook Thanksgiving dinner. Every year we say we are never doing it again. Yet we do. As my mom gets older, I do more. I take on more responsibility because if I didn't, I would be afriad that she'd try to do more when she really can't. My siblings both have children, so now they have an excuse. My sister has NEVER done sh*t, neither has my brother. Now with the kids they have a reason. Alas, the fact that I'm stuck with Thanksgiving and Xmas dinner is not because I'm a woman, but it is because I have no boundaries. Each year I tell myself next year it will be different...
The good news is that we make great food.
keep posting responses please....this quote is sounding more and more on target:
"What is ickier still is that nobody but a hopeless idealist believes that modern Thanksgiving revelers give even a flickering thought to the horrors of colonialism. In reality Thanksgiving Day just marks the kick-off of the Annual Season of God and Guilt with a pre-consume-o-rama carbo-load. Tomorrow, if you have the misfortune to find yourself in any American city, you depart your home at your own peril, for the day after all the thanks have been given is called Black Friday, and life is cheap. Legions of shoppers, still bloated from canned pumpkin products and of a frenzied disposition owing to their mounting MasterCard debt, will blitz the streets to snap up as much cheap crap from China as their bingo-arms can carry against the foreordained approach of yet another Christioconsumer “holiday.”"
Maybe y'all are too busy resting your "bingo arms" for the big day tomorrow.
Truly Erica, you do indeed hate fun.
So, the rest of us 6+ billion people sharing the planet with you PROMISE never ever to have any fun again for the rest of your or our natural lives, whichever comes first. Just so you can feel less sorry for yourself on one day (or is it eight? How many holidays are we going to include in this pledge? Okay, let's just say, "All of them") out of the year.
No more cooking, because women - er, wymyn? it's just the male patriarchy putting you down, and men, you should be ashamed of your brutish behavior, ESPECIALLY if you're the one doing the cooking/cleaning/babysitting, etc., because clearly you're just being patronizing male sexist pigs.
No more sitting around telling everyone assembled what you're thankful for, because again, it's just you bragging about you ability to extract some semblence of moral or emotional satisfaction or self-righteousness at someone else's expense, so let's just get rid of the exploitation right here-and-now.
No playing games, because competition by its very nature just exacerbates the victim/victimizer paradigm; no watching TV - for obvious reasons; no singing, dancing, card playing or other games of chance or amusement.
Let's all make Erica happy and just sit in quiet dark corners for the day by ourselves contemplating our collective hubris, conducting sobering self-confessional reviews of all the hateful, sexually/emotionally/psychologically oppressive actions during the past year, and muttering to over and over that we are hateful pieces of shit who should never have been born, and that no matter how sincerely we try to make amends, nothing will ever excuse or atone for our disgusting and evil natures.
On second thought - fuck it. I'm going to have one more slice of pumkin pie.
Let's give ECB a break. I know for a fact that she doesn't hate fun (or men, for that matter). And she didn't write the alternate take on Thanksgiving; she just posted it. Tomorrow is buy nothing day; and if she's not too busy shopping, I'll be happy to buy her a drink.
Thanksgiving haters suck. It's the one traditional holiday of the year that doesn't truly suck. And it's also secular. And it's way better since I don't spend it with anyone but my husband and my friends.
Maybe it's generational, maybe it's geographic, maybe it's a bit of both... all I know is that most of the families that I have been exposed to do celebrate Thanksgiving in a VERY traditional, semi-religious way.
Whatever.
"I know for a fact that she doesn't hate fun (or men, for that matter). And she didn't write the alternate take on Thanksgiving; she just posted it."
You are splitting hairs. Erica is always writing or reposting this crap. If Erica doesn't hate men, then guys who love The Man Show don't hate women.
thanksgiving with my family; dad cooks a turkey makes stuffing and mashed potatos, some of his siblings come over and bring more food pot luck style, yams, fruit salad, greek salad, etc. we eat all around the living room and dining room watching football games on tv. then we move to the card table, gamble, get trashed, and fall asleep.
of course we're all atheist nobodies in heathen seattle, but maybe deep down inside we all hate women. even my mom.
maybe erica just hate's family.
"This is a bunch of hoo-hah based on someone`s unhappy childhood." Nice call, Grant. It's funny how many offerings out there can be described this way.
And I agree with the person who defended Thanksgiving as secular. It's one of the reasons I like it so much.
Thanksgiving totally rules. It only lasts one day (Christmas, on the other hand, now lasts approximately five to six weeks). You do just two things: eat a great meal and watch football (optional). Unless your boss/employer totally sucks, you get the next day off. The only people who don't like Thanksgiving are whiny fucks. But, as this is the land of the free, whiny fucks are free to suffer through Thanksgiving and cry about it if that's what they really want. Everybody's happy!
To be fair, Erica *has* pointed out the view that seemingly casts all men as rapists-to-be as deeply anti-male (which it is).
yeah, she's probably just a trollin' for the holidays.
Everyone does it so it can't be wrong.
You WILL like Thanksgiving no matter what anyone thinks about it. Otherwise, you are stupid.
Now, vote Democrat and shut up.
Don't think about it - DO IT.
@ pokoahotass
D- troll. not original, no flair, nothing amusing.
From Wikipedia:
"The term troll is highly subjective. Some readers may characterize a post as trolling, while others may regard the same post as a legitimate contribution to the discussion, even if controversial. The term is often used to discredit an opposing position, or its proponent, by argument ad hominem.
Often, calling someone a troll makes assumptions about a writer's motives. Regardless of the circumstances, controversial posts may attract a particularly strong response from those unfamiliar with the robust dialogue found in some online, rather than physical, communities."
My motives are to rebut the grotesque conformity that surrounds holidays, American psuedo-tradition and the outright dismissal of arguments and parallels to the argument at hand.
What are your motives?
Not buying it. I love Thanksgiving for at least these three reasons:
It's a Fall holiday.
I'm from a big family, but there was always room at our table for anyone who didn't have a place to spend T-Day. Duh: Thanks. Giving.
I love to (male) cook. And (male) feed people.
to poke a hot ass.
I should add that, although I didn't write the piece I was quoting, it rings completely true to me. In the 23 years I lived in the South, I never saw a man help out in the kitchen, or even put his own dishes in the sink. Maybe it is a geographical thing.
Sean writes "If Erica doesn't hate men, then guys who love The Man Show don't hate women."
As her boyfriend, I can attest that Erica does not hate men, or at least not all men, and that, indeed, even her love of fun has not been much impeded by her insane feminism.
Wouldn't that tend to be true for meals in general and not just holiday meals? Or is Thanksgiving the one time where this happens?
Eating is murder!
I am a woman from the midwest and visited relatives in alabama for thanksgiving. No women were oppressed during our meal, except one was pregnant.
I think it's a family thing and doesn't have to do with what part of the country you are from.
The experience sounds so terribly foreign to me in many respects. Or maybe I come from progressive people. Everyone has always helped out in some fashion when it comes to the Thanksgiving meal. Yeah some people might watch sports on TV but they will also help wash up dishes afterward or maybe they brought a dish to the proceedings.
This year in my extremely pregnant state my family sort of forced me to delegate a bit of the responsibility. (I love cooking everything for Thanksgiving) My husband cooked a few dishes, my brother cooked a few things, as did my sister and my Mother. It was a lot of fun. Everyone also did their part when it came to tidying up before and after.
I even have friends who live in the South (born and raised) who are male and contributed a great deal to their Thanksgiving meals in terms of cooking and cleaning.
Maybe some people need to run in slightly more varied social circles.
Why is it that everyone comments only on the part of this long essay that deals with the labor distribution of the holiday? Its the easiest part to dispute.
What about some of the other points raised about our culture: gluttony - food and merchandise or history - real and imagined?
This essay discusses much more than is reflected in the comments. Why such a narrow focus?
Dear ECB,
Please stop posting Twisty verbatim on the forum. You're a better, smarter feminist than that, I hope.
If Christian holidays are so bad....maybe we should go back to pagan ways, since they were so....enlightened, and pro-woman. Will the 40 virgins to be sacrificed for the solictice please step up?
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Can you see this. Do not hesitate to choose. Look
Hi guys its me again. Can you look
Hi guys its me again. Can you look
I must win this battle. You should help
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Please do not hesitate to choose. This
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Och beautifull site below too
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Be so kind and click
Nice but this too
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Och beautifull site below too
Be so kind and click
Nice but this too
Do not be angry please
Be so kind and click
Nice but this too
Och beautifull site below too
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Be so kind and click
Nice but look below
I agree please revange
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
I am looking for better life
Nice but this too
Be so kind and click
Please do not hesitate to choose. This
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Sorry for that.
I am looking for better life
If you have a minute check this.
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Check this places please.
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Sorry for that.
If you have a minute check this.
If you have a minute check this.
Nice but look below
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
If you have a minute check this.
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Please dont be angry
Check this places please.
Check this places please.
Sorry for that.
If you have a minute check this.
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Dont be angry please
If you have a minute check this.
Nice but this too
Please dont be angry
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Sorry for this
Dont be angry please
Nice but this too
Do not be angry please
Sorry, dont remove please
Sorry, dont remove please
Nice but this too
Sorry, dont remove please
Sorry for that.
It is very important for you to click below. Trust me
Sorry, dont remove please
Comments Closed
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).