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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

An Open Letter to an Organic Butternut Squash

posted by on November 28 at 13:20 PM

Hey Organic Butternut Squash I Bought at QFC the Other Day,

You’re good. Man, you’re good. You were the biggest squash on that stack, all beige and giant-peanut-like, and your size (and organic-ness) cost me. You were $10. But I needed you big. I had big plans for you.

I took you home and cut you. I scraped your cute insides out. I put some olive oil on you. I set you in a pan filled with a half inch of water and put you in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes. Then I browned a huge onion and some butter in a stock pot, with lots of salt and pepper. When I took you out of the oven after 45 minutes you were all hot and mad, but you were pretty soft, so I took a spoon and scooped you out of your skin and put you in the stock pot with the browned onions, and then I poured a giant can of chicken broth over you. Then I just let you bubble for a while. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Simmer I guess is the word that people who know what they’re doing would use. I’m not a cook. All of this made me so nervous. I got all these instructions from a friend, and I was sure I had some of them wrong. Chicken stock? I kept thinking. Bock, bock, bock!

After a while bubbling in that chicken broth you went real soft. Your orangey hunks become a chunky puree. I gave you some more pepper, and some cinnamon, and if I could have found the nutmeg I would have given you some of that too. I tried you with a spoon. God damn! I could have just eaten you like this, but I was feeling fancy, I was in the mood to go all the way, so I got out the blender and blended you. In batches. With the help of a mug, since I don’t have a ladle. Once you were smooth, I poured some of you into a bowl, with a plop of organic sour cream in the middle, and I ate you.

It was snowing. You were so good.

RSS icon Comments


Holy moley. I just started drooling over my keyboard.

Posted by Alicia | November 28, 2006 1:37 PM

Whoa. I need this recipe. I bet it would go great with some hot buttered rum.

Posted by Callie | November 28, 2006 1:39 PM

tasty read!

Posted by charles | November 28, 2006 1:43 PM

Oh baby! Oh baby!

Squash is my favorite holiday side dish in any form. Try this one: Cut it up in chunks, mix with chunks of onion, red grapes, chopped sage, olive oil, salt and pepper. Spread it all on a baking sheet and bake until tender. Your dinner guests will caryr you around the room on their shoulders. if you are cooking for your sweety, she/he will ravage you in thanks,

Posted by orson | November 28, 2006 1:45 PM

Calle, that's the whole recipe. Get a squash. Cut it in half. Put it in the oven. Do the onion with butter. Add the squash when it's done in the oven. Pour chicken broth over it. Simmer for a while. Put in whatever you want—cinnamon (delicious)? a little chili powder (for kick)? When it seems soupy, it's ready. Blend if you like. It's incredible once it's blended.

Posted by christopher frizzelle | November 28, 2006 1:47 PM

Aw man. Frizzelle just butternut' all over this slog.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | November 28, 2006 1:49 PM

Damn that sounds good. Not to mention there's something kinda naughty about the word 'butternut'.

Posted by monkey | November 28, 2006 1:54 PM

I thought that might be the case. I rarely cook/bake, so I'm kind of nervous (as you were) but I'm totally going to try this.

Posted by Callie | November 28, 2006 1:55 PM

"a friend"? where's the love?

it's true, the recipe is so simple that you can tell it to a person while walking down the street. you can vary it with minced fresh herbs to your liking (introduced late in the "bubble" stage). organic chicken broth is best, and organic sour cream kicks regular sour cream's ever-loving ass. crème fraîche works, too. yay for soup!

Posted by bethany jean clement | November 28, 2006 1:59 PM

Hey little lamb. I bought a chunk of your leg the other day at the local coop market. I dredged it in pimiento and black mustard seed and slapped it in a dry pan over a hot flame. I seared that chunk of your leg for mere seconds on each side, then I flamed it in a jigger of fine tequila. Your seared bit of leg set off my smoke alarm as burning flesh will do. I reset the alarm and turned you out on plain white china which ran scarlet with your blood. I poured a glass of garnet Zin (Ravenswood Monte Rosso 1999). I wished I had bought more of you, little lamb. Seared and rare you make a damned fine piece of meat, and it may have been the wine, but it felt like you had given me a bit of your wolly warmth.

Posted by kinaidos | November 28, 2006 2:05 PM

More fun with butternuts: cut in half, scoop out the seedy gunk, bake in oven, stuff with sausage sauteed with garlic and brown sugar. Mmms.

Posted by Explorer | November 28, 2006 2:14 PM

For even more fun, roast a chicken the day before, and make your own broth. It's easy and good.

Posted by Fnarf | November 28, 2006 2:39 PM

Butternut's tasty, but I prefer delicata squash. Cut in half, scoop out seeds, pat with butter, bake. It's like a baked sweet potato.

Posted by soultaco | November 28, 2006 3:21 PM

hey delicious peyote mushroom that I bought from a really smelly guy! I bought you and hid you in my dresser drawer for a few hours until my mother left the house. Then I slowly stripped you out of your ziplock bag and gazed upon your beautiful mushroom head. I gently licked the top of you and then saw that you were getting soft and moist. Then I introduced you to mr boddingtons pub ale from my fridge. I could not resist anymore. I put you in my mouth and chewed your chewy peyote body with a ferocity of a hungry wolf. Then, while you were resting in my stomach, I drowned you with ale. It was snowing, you were delicious, then my dog, Vanity, began to talk to me.

Posted by peyotemuncher | November 28, 2006 4:05 PM

I make butternut squash soup basically like you, only I add curry powder. Yum!

Posted by Megan | November 28, 2006 4:06 PM

Have you tried spaghetti squash yet? It's all noodly inside and you can season it like squash, or like pasta. You bake it just like regular squash. YUMMMMM.

Aside: Peyote Muncher. Your story would be great if there were such a thing as a peyote mushroom. Unfortunately for you, there are only peyote buttons. They come from cacti. Perhaps you should consult a shaman next time, instead of just a really smelly guy. A really smelly shaman might do in a pinch.

Posted by Ms. Fire | November 28, 2006 10:33 PM

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