News The War On Heterosexual Sex
posted by October 26 at 9:28 AMon
I’ve been screaming my head off about the ongoing war on straight rights for years. It’s nice to see another writer take up the fight.
The lawyer that got arrested from having sex with a woman in a stall in a woman’s restroom at QWest Field? The one Brad mentioned in his morning news post? He wasn’t busted for the sex, but for his sex. From Seattlest:
According to the sheriff’s department spokesman, the sex isn’t why prosecutor man was arrested.It’s not illegal to have sex in a public bathroom in Washington, provided the stall is shut and no one is committing indecent exposure, Urquhart said. The arrest was for trespassing—it’s illegal for a man to enter a women’s bathroom.
Hold on, now. So if two women or two men want to have sex in a bathroom, it’s totally ok, but if straight people do it, they get arrested?
Obviously there is a war on heterosexual sex in this country, and it must stop. Here we are, letting gay people marry (although, to be fair, we’re forcing them to do it in Jersey), and one Thurston County prosecutor can’t even become one with his paralegal during a football game.
All the cheering we did at the gay pride parade, we take it back.
Bad news for straights, good news for gays. Smelly, damp, disgusting toilet-stall sex? It’s all ours! We may not be able to get married in Washington State (and we still can’t in New Jersey, Seattlest), but we can still get it on in public restrooms that stank of stale urine and hotdog farts. Woo-hoo.
Still, the next time I go to the M’s with my boyfriend we’re going to exercise our right to toilet-stall sex. We have so few rights as it is, how can we pass on one we enjoy? So we’ll slip into a stall in one of the men’s rooms at Safeco and do our duty. Eat your heart out, Seattlest.