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Friday, October 27, 2006

The Morning News

posted by on October 27 at 8:38 AM

Fuckwits: In a last-ditch ploy before the election, Bush and the GOP turn to big scary homos yet again.

Finance: New York ain’t the world financial capital it used to be.

Fire: Four firefighters dead, one in critical condition fighting a blaze near Palm Springs, California. Officials say arson is to blame.

Fuckwits, Cont.: The White House says Dick Cheney ain’t the torturing type.

Finance, Cont.: Economic growth slows due to a wheezing housing market.

Fish: Eat local salmon at your own risk.

Fields: Sims’s proposal for Boeing Field is on the cheap side, according to critics.

Focus: Having trouble paying attention? Ogle some boobies.

Fall Classic: St. Louis one win away from making regular Slog reader Mike in MO very happy.

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For a long time I never understood conservatives. I grew up in the South, but I never understood how some people could be so callous and denigrate others because of their sexuality or the color of their skin or any other difference. I always thought that but for a simple twist of fate, any of us could be in the disparaged group. Racism, sexism, homophobia -how could people just be so downright nasty to others? I always thought that if bigoted people could just see that there are real human beings on the receiving end of those taunts and threats then they would see how wrong they were. Pretty naive, right?

It wasn’t until college that it all hit me like Truth you know, suddenly it was all so clear. I realized that a large number of people just don’t feel emotions like sympathy, empathy or even pity. Perhaps this total lack of even basic self-awareness is a sign of an immature mind. There are monsters in this world, and that’s what their subjective realty is like.

If you really peel away all of the bluster and the bullying and the threats, what you’re left with is fear -one of the least complicated, purest emotions of which we’re capable. All of the hate, the greed, the lies, are just covers for fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, those are the reasons that Republicans win elections. It’s why they’ve cornered the market on what Bob Cesca called the “bigot and ghoul” vote. It’s also why there’s absolutely nothing noble about their cause, their sick determination to bully and punish those uppity Negroes, Mexicans, homos and most fearsome of all –urban liberals. No one ever makes them explain anything or work anything out logically because those aren’t the parts of their brains that they use. Conservatives are incurious and hostile to different people, new ideas and rationality by definition.

So they’re going to cheat and change the rules of the game and throw Constitutional amendments at us, or as in the Military Commissions Act of 2006, simply sign our rights away. They’re going to squash us like bugs, blah, blah, blah. The truth is that they’re scared out of their minds. It’s why everything they do is so hateful and destructive. But they’ve sown the seeds of their own downfall by relying on fear and hate. No society can run on those emotions forever successfully; it would implode much like Bush’s Enron Presidency. Look at the feverish levels of denial going on -they simply can’t adapt.

In fact, they’ve already lost. The US is radically different that it was 50 years ago and will be even more different 50 years from now. Going back is impossible. They can’t hold the pendulum forever any more than they can keep their boots down on our faces. So take heart and realize that even though the past six years have been pure hell, we’re still going to win.

Posted by Andrew | October 27, 2006 8:45 AM

We're gonna find out in November how much of the US's voting base is made of true bigots.

Posted by Gomez | October 27, 2006 8:46 AM

I think the rule of thumb for Scottish salmon from the North Sea is once a month now. It's getting to be unsafe almost anywhere.

Posted by Gabriel | October 27, 2006 8:55 AM

Here are quotes from the NYTimes article regarding the Democratic Party's position on full citizenship rights of LGBT citizens since the NJ decision:

"Democrats predicted Thursday that the debate would not dramatically alter the national conversation..."

"The Virginia ballot includes a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Mr. Allen supports it; his Democratic opponent, Jim Webb, argues that the ban is unnecessary."

"In Tennessee, another state with a proposal to ban gay marriage, Representative Harold E. Ford Jr., a Democrat running for the Senate, was sparring with Republicans over an advertisement in which the Republican National Committee asserts that Mr. Ford supports gay marriage — an assertion Mr. Ford says is wrong. On Thursday, he responded with his own advertisement, calling the Republican ad “despicable, rotten lies.”

Mr. Ford says he will vote for the Tennessee gay marriage ban."

"Democrats, though, insist they are not concerned.
“It’s not going to be close to the issue it was in 2004,” said Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York."

Does anyone in the Democratic Party have a problem with this:

"As of January 2006, 45 states had enacted some form of law — from a simple statute to a constitutional amendment — banning same-sex marriage. In addition to Virginia, Tennessee and Colorado, the states that have proposed constitutional amendments on the November ballot include Arizona, Idaho, South Carolina, South Dakota and Wisconsin."

Apparently they don't because they haven't done one goddamned thing to stop any of it from happening. To quote Senator Schumer - "it's not going to be an issue..."

Posted by patrick C | October 27, 2006 9:03 AM

Not that I think the Bush administration is anti-water-boarding, and not that I'm actually defending Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney, but I don't think that question and response adds up to a public endorsement of waterboarding. I have gone for plenty "dunks in the water" in my life, and never once felt in danger or fear for my life.

Of course, the only kind of "dunk in the water" that would probably yield any information from a terr'ist would be of the waterboarding variety, but still, it doesn't sound like the question was really describing waterboarding. Hell, it could be describing baptism (the "dunk in the water" that "saves lives").

Posted by Levislade | October 27, 2006 9:06 AM

Looks like this should have been a headline. It looks like Letterman gives it to O'Reilly.

Letterman vs. O'Reilly, the next round: Bill O'Reilly appears on "The Late Show with David Letterman" tonight, but Page Six has already seen the tape and reports the goods. After calling the Fox pundit a "bonehead," Letterman ventures a question on the war:

Letterman: Let me ask you a question -- was there more heinous, more dangerous violence taking place before in Iraq, or is there more heinous, dangerous violence taking place now in Iraq?

O'Reilly: Oh, stop it. Saddam Hussein slaughtered 300,000 to 400,000 people, all right, so knock it off... It isn't so black and white, Dave -- it isn't, 'We're a bad country. Bush is an evil liar.' That's not true.

Letterman: I didn't say he was an evil liar. You're putting words in my mouth, just the way you put artificial facts in your head!

Posted by SeMe | October 27, 2006 9:17 AM

I could be naive, but I think voters are so overwhelmed by the war, declines in housing prices, Republican scandals, Katrina, poverty, etc., that the NJ decision pales in comparison. I think use of the NJ decision is being seen for what it is: a desperate attempt to turn the electorate's focus from more pressing issues. I think it's going to fall on deaf ears.

Posted by SB | October 27, 2006 9:53 AM

Mike in MO is very happy.
Any comments from the sloggers that predicted a Tigers sweep? Or the sloggers that amended their predictions after St Louis won game one? I do believe one Fnarf wrote that St louis would win game one and then not score another run thereafter...

Posted by Mike in MO | October 27, 2006 10:15 AM

Very long comments, but none so far have noted that Bradley's categories in today's Morning News were all "F'n"-inspired.

Nice wordplay, sir.

Posted by N in Seattle | October 27, 2006 10:44 AM

Darth Cheney doesn't believe in torture. He believes in a more direct approach... like shooting people in the face with a shotgun.

Posted by SDA in SEA | October 27, 2006 10:52 AM

Yes, Mike in MO, I was wrong. Happy?

Levislade, you are wrong. When Bush and Cheney say "dunk in the water", they are very specifically referring to waterboarding, in particular the waterboarding that was used (unsuccessfully, of course) on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. It's kind of like when Rummie describes the chaos in Iraq as "untidy".

Posted by Fnarf | October 27, 2006 10:56 AM

Yes, Fnarf, those words make almost as happy as the Cards being up 3-1. :)

Posted by Mike in MO | October 27, 2006 10:58 AM

Technically, with waterboarding, you don't get "dunked"...

though that seems to be what everyone envisions with this procedure.

I think the actual procedure is even more terrifying than that.

Posted by david | October 27, 2006 11:51 AM

Yes, but Bush is not trying to be semantically precise, now, is he? He's trying to be dismissive.

Posted by Fnarf | October 27, 2006 12:33 PM

I predicted way back on 10/9: birds beat cats in 6. I'm gonna get me a job at the Psychic Network, I tell ya!

Posted by him | October 27, 2006 12:59 PM

Andrew, I understand your premise and passion. But, as a boy from the south, I bet you can recall some gays and hetero liberals who hated blacks, and liberals who hated gays. I sure did. Just consider that bigotry and political ideology are not always joined the hip. Nevertheless, stereotypes do have their basis in fact.

Posted by Proud Gay Republican | October 27, 2006 1:01 PM

yes him, I do recall your prediction. You are officially vindicated...

Posted by Mike in MO | October 27, 2006 1:15 PM

"Nevertheless, stereotypes do have their basis in fact"

Oh great googly moogly. Stereotypes have their basis in ignorance and fear. Personal impressions have their basis in fact.

Congratulations Mike!

Posted by golob | October 27, 2006 2:19 PM

As much as I hate to see the Cards going up big in the series, I'll vindicate myself by having made no prediction! The Humans on the field must make it so in real time, cliche though it is. (Him: there should be a pot of prediction money at stake; you're looking good).

If I appreciate anything about the Cards, it's their determination to take the game away from the Tigers last night. You're a lost cause in the first place unless you're telling yourself in your head: We Will Win. I hope the Tigers can clear their heads, om it up with "WWW" and get back to work.

Betting-wise: I bet you Craig Monroe would make that diving catch in Left the next 20 times in a row. He must fn hate that it skipped off the top of his glove. His problem (and he knows it) was trying to go up for the ball a bit late and off the wrong foot, and even then, he looked like he could have had it if he rode his dive a little longer before he reached for the ball. Alas, tis a game of inches. Plus crap fielding from the Tigers' pitchers. Ouch, again.

Best game of the series so far. And exceptionally well played, given the weather and field conditions.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 27, 2006 4:06 PM

I don't think any of us not named Mike in MO would have thought the Tigers would suddenly forget how to hit and play defense.

Man, this series has been a shocking turn of events.

Posted by Gomez | October 27, 2006 7:59 PM

Indeed, Gomez. That's a lot of o-ferring (or, basically o-ferring) Tigers hitters. Man.

I wanna be Jeff Weaver every time my life is washed up. Props to him. If there was one silver lining to the Cards' WS win - LaRussa finally taking those stupid lab-goth glasses off.

Mike In Mo -- They should let you post the wrap up. Because you're feeling pretty fucking double plus good.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 27, 2006 10:59 PM

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