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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Stop the Insanity

posted by on October 31 at 8:44 AM

Some dumbfuckers in the United States started some dumbfucked hugging “movement” by putting some dumbfucking video up on YouTube. It goes like this: You stand in a public place and offer hugs to complete strangers—people who never did you any harm, people who are just minding their own damn business, people who shouldn’t be made to feel anti-social just because they don’t want to be hugged. Well, it seems that this dumbfucking hugging shit has spread to China. From today’s NYT:

Participants opened their arms to embrace passers-by and brandished cards saying “Free hugs” in English and “Care from strangers” and “Refuse to be apathetic” in Chinese, The Beijing News reported.

I hate hugging—no, wait. That’s too strong. I hate hugging people with whom I do not have a relationship that rises to the level of routine physical embrace. I enjoy hugging my boyfriend, my mother, my son, and every now and then my siblings. I do not hug casual acquaintances, co-workers, baristas, or dumbfuck strangers standing around on street corners holding signs that say “Free hugs.” What’s more, I deeply resent being pulled into hugs against my will be hippy-dippy types who presume that everyone needs a nice hug every now and then.

Well, it seems that I should move to Beijing, where the authorities apparently share my sentiments.

In Beijing, the police moved in and took four huggers on one of the city’s most popular shopping streets away for questioning.

Right fucking on. Here’s hoping all four dumbfuck huggers were summarily executed.

RSS icon Comments

1

there were four or five people offering free hugs in westlake center a few weeks ago. right around the same spot where that crazy guy got shot and killed. not implying there is any correlation between the two incidents.

Posted by Charles | October 31, 2006 9:03 AM
2

Did you just have a Hoegaarden?

Posted by Gabriel | October 31, 2006 9:03 AM
3

No, but I was molested by a priest on my way to work this morning.

Posted by Dan Savage | October 31, 2006 9:04 AM
4

Five bucks says these syphlitic lepers all just came from a twelve step recovery meeting, reeking of smoke, pissed pants and spilled coffee.

I prefer to get my "hugs" for twenty bucks, from scantily clad strippers.

Posted by Rain Monkey | October 31, 2006 9:08 AM
5

Dan's right. Slapping is the way to go!

Posted by Andrew | October 31, 2006 9:11 AM
6

The slap meets the hug!!!!! How wonderfully Seattle!!!

But it could be worse. The hug-offerers could be dressed as clowns. The clowns could be clowns for Christ.

I think we all need to count our blessings.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | October 31, 2006 9:14 AM
7

Just ignore it, is it really that big of a deal to get this worked up over it?

Posted by jd | October 31, 2006 9:17 AM
8

I figure they just want my wallet.

But thank you Rain Monkey, for now I will obsess about hygiene, as well.

Posted by Napoleon XIV | October 31, 2006 9:19 AM
9

This is one outrageous Dan statement that I can totally LOL and agree with.

Posted by Gomez | October 31, 2006 9:21 AM
10

This reminds me of when a group of people, for what seemed like weeks, were standing around the Castro and telling everyone to smile while handing out little smiley stickers. Gawd, I hated that, I wanted to punch anyone that tried to put a sticker on my shirt without asking.

Posted by Michael | October 31, 2006 9:22 AM
11

Must be the same folks that insist any face without a smile on it is frowning. ah, come on, just give me a little smile and I will go awaygrrr...

Posted by Phenics | October 31, 2006 9:23 AM
12

Watch out for this woman Dan-
http://www.amma.org/amma/index.html
From Her Website-
"For the past 35 years Amma has dedicated her life to the uplifting of suffering humanity through the simplest of gestures – an embrace. In this intimate manner Amma had blessed and consoled more than 25 million people throughout the world.

When someone asked Amma why she receives every person who comes to her in a loving embrace Amma replied, “ If you ask the river,' why do you flow?' what can it say?”


I politely declined to go to her downtown Seattle gathering over the summer. Creepy!

Posted by bonehead's girlfriend | October 31, 2006 9:27 AM
13

Hey Dan:

If the Chinese execute the free huggers, their organs will be harvested and do some good in the world. Let's hope they go for it.

Posted by Bill | October 31, 2006 9:28 AM
14

jd, can you ignore somebody GRABBING you?

Posted by Gomez | October 31, 2006 9:29 AM
15

That would be a good exhibit. Huggers: The Bodies.

I hate to say it, but I agree with Savage. I once worked at a non profit where we had a " the way I feel about you is" excercise, it was horrible. Hugging and touchy feely stuff must be outlawed. Surely somebody in city council can see the importance of stopping this.

Posted by SeMe | October 31, 2006 9:32 AM
16

sounds like you need a hug.

Posted by patrick C | October 31, 2006 9:38 AM
17

Aww Dan, it sounds like you need a hug! :)

Posted by Suz | October 31, 2006 9:43 AM
18

What about those unwanted kisses? I'm sure we all know one or two of those ON THE LIPS smackers. Hard to avoid especially when you're invited into their home for a party.

Posted by Bruce in Maple Leaf | October 31, 2006 9:43 AM
19

Sigh.

I presume this is merely a taste of the boring shit we're gonna be hearing from you once Santorum leaves the national stage and everyone quits smoking, huh...

Posted by Boomer | October 31, 2006 9:51 AM
20

Boomer is a dick, a big dick! Someone suck him off fast.

Posted by bonehead's girlfriend | October 31, 2006 10:01 AM
21

These huggers are probably the same people who like to say (99% of the time to women), "Come on, smile!" Gross.

Posted by cermak | October 31, 2006 10:05 AM
22

While some of you may not want to be hugged, the violent reactions here on the boards seem to anecdotally confirm something I've noticed for years: about half the people out there are just really pissed off at life.

So someone wants to give you a hug, big deal. Just say "no, thank you."

Posted by Andrew | October 31, 2006 10:06 AM
23

Here's what I say to strangers that attempt to hug me:

"Can I hug you?"

"Can I spit in your mouth?"

So far no takers.

Posted by Dan Savage | October 31, 2006 10:07 AM
24

Silly Chinese, hugs are for trees!

Posted by white kid dirt knots | October 31, 2006 10:09 AM
25

I used to hate hugs. I like 'em now. I do like to know who I'm hugging/hugging me. But I don't tweak about it at the casual acquaintance level either. Sharing a squeeze, no big deal; it feels good.

At the same time, I'm not a hug-creep either. You can tell who the hug-tweaks are; I'll always go hand-shake over the hug every time.

Just don't slap. Not even as some little fucking joke or crazy ternd. Do that, and I'll punch your teeth into your cerebral cortex.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 31, 2006 10:23 AM
26

The movement was started by a guy in Austrialia, not the USA. He has come over here and done it, but just wanted the facts to be straight, regardless of your stance on hugging.


Posted by Monique | October 31, 2006 10:33 AM
27

Hugs from family and friends are great. Hugs from random strangers are not.

Posted by Gomez | October 31, 2006 10:33 AM
28

Savage's hugphobia actually comes in pretty handy. If you ever find him sweating you by hovering over your shoulders as you're stuggling to get your stuff out before deadline, just spin around and try to hug him. He'll run shrieking and leave you in peace for the rest of the day.

Posted by Paulus | October 31, 2006 10:56 AM
29

The movement wasn't started by Youtubers *or* some guy in Australia. It was Deadheads. I was standing outside shows with a Free Hugs sign 15 years ago, and I stole the idea from another 'head I had seen.

And Dan, really now, is anyone forcing people to be hugged? Just walk on by. Have a Prozac.

Posted by bifemmefatale | October 31, 2006 11:02 AM
30

Hugs are cool. I prefer hugs to the gross "kiss-on-the-cheek" hello you get in L.A.

Handshakes and half-a-hugs with acquaintences are cool.

Hugs from friends or close colleagues are cool.

And I think if I were having a particularly horrible day or feeling blue, a hug from a stranger wouldn't be so bad.

Posted by Soupytwist | October 31, 2006 11:36 AM
31

Catalina, think of it: the clowns could be MIMES! How fantastic would that me? Hugging mime clowns!

I just want to know how long is too long for me to hug the hott young interns down the hall. They're very idealistic. Twenty minutes, is that too much? Is it still a hug if it's from behind?

Posted by Fnarf | October 31, 2006 12:14 PM
32

The austrailian hugger was on Oprah yesterday. Now there's going to be millions of upper middle class stay at home moms hugging everyone.

Posted by M | October 31, 2006 1:04 PM
33

Hugging no, maybe an ass grab to give you a false sense of sexual attractiveness. Just be sure to stay on the hills, the valley is for the bedroom (bad experience at the HempFest last year, don't ask).

Brandon

P.S I hate getting hugs as much as you but, summarily executed? Isn't that a lil' strong, especially considering this is China were talking about here?

Posted by brandon h | October 31, 2006 5:49 PM
34

I have no problem pushing a total stranger into traffic if he or she is invading my personal space by attempting to give me a 'hug.'

Posted by Nick Valentine | October 31, 2006 7:16 PM
35

Keep in mind that the hugs are *voluntary*. Don't want them? Just walk away. And show yourself to be someone who cares less about the whole and more about yourself. That's your choice. I'll accept the hugs.

Posted by docjeff | November 11, 2006 10:30 PM
36

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...

Posted by Coleman Clay | November 12, 2006 6:28 PM
37

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...

Posted by Jaquan Cannon | November 16, 2006 7:04 PM
38

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...

Posted by Jaquan Cannon | November 16, 2006 7:05 PM
39

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...

Posted by Quintin Nelson | November 17, 2006 12:31 AM

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