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Friday, October 27, 2006

Slapping is the new Ballard

posted by on October 27 at 14:40 PM

Slapping is in. Slapping is current. Slapping is what the kids are doing. Can anyone explain it, this new, weird trend? I got slapped so many times last night that my hearing is off today, like I’m underground, or underwater, or walking around with paper towel rolls on each ear. And since no one actually slapped me on the ears, I can only attribute this to my brain getting a bit bashed around inside my skull. I have a touch of coup contrecoup.

Last night’s slapping occurred at Havana, at a costume/dance party to raise money for Washington Ensemble Theatre, where, in the “slapdance,” I was paired with Marya Sea Kaminski. We began by placing a hand on the other’s cheek. Gradually we worked up to harder hitting. Once I hit her too hard so she got to hit me hard back. Then Brendan Kiley walloped me. This was all while dancing.

A couple days before, a house party I went to—a party also involving Brendan Kiley—also devolved into a slapping war.

Erik, an acquaintance I always run into at the Hideout, was slapping people a couple months ago, random people, at the Hideout and other places. As he explains, the natural inclination of humans is to not want to be hit, but “in reality when you slap someone, usually they like it.” This is, of course, not always the case. Erik (who is straight) was so slap-happy that when he traveled to Austin a few months ago and met a cowboy in a bar, he slapped him. How did the cowboy respond? “He and his friends took me outside and beat me up.”

But here in Seattle, slapping is met with a this-is-fun, live-to-the-fullest, we’re-all-gonna-die-at-some-point, it-doesn’t-hurt-that-bad what-the-hell-ness. It’s odd. It’s wonderful. It’s hard to explain.

RSS icon Comments


Face it, most people are just plain weird.

And it could be worse.

Posted by COMTE | October 27, 2006 2:50 PM

The first rule of Slap Club is that you don't talk about Slap Club.

Posted by Andrew | October 27, 2006 2:50 PM

That's weird -- I wasn't involved in any of Saturday's Stranger-related slapping, but my best pal Meagan has been drunkenly slapping the shit out of Capitol Hill for probably a year now. I don't know which side is more satisfying: slapping is the obvious choice, but being slapped has a kind of tingly, giddy, maybe-I-have-a-concussion bad-assery about it.

Posted by Lindy | October 27, 2006 3:12 PM

Old men like me view this as a one-way ticket to headache land and nothing more.

Posted by Matthew | October 27, 2006 3:23 PM

I'm, I guess, old school. If any person ever slapped me for any reason, I would slap them back immediately and disproportionately harder and more than once, and if they wound up for anything after that, I'd start punching them in the face.

I know it's supposed to be fun or something, but sorry :( in advance.

I don't even like to bump my head on anything....

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 27, 2006 3:26 PM

sounds like a great episode of CSI.

Posted by seattl98104 | October 27, 2006 3:34 PM

sounds like a great episode of chappelle's show

Posted by wags | October 27, 2006 4:00 PM

You people are nuts, that's what's going on here.

If you slap me at a party, I'm going to start to cry, and then I'm going to break your arm, knock you down, punch in the face several times, shove my hand down your throat, and bite you really, really hard somewhere on your face or neck until people pull me off you. There will be pieces of you missing. It will not be pretty or funny.

Posted by Fnarf | October 27, 2006 4:11 PM

Fnarf -- slap fight?

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 27, 2006 4:14 PM

When I was in college, a couple of my friends and I used to play "the slapping game" which wasn't so much a game as two people taking turns slapping each other gradually getting harder and harder. It was surprisingly fun...if you do slaps correctly, it stings for a second, but it doesn't really hurt.
The best version was with teams: you slapped one person, who slapped your partner, who slapped the other person's partner who slapped you. So you were never the direct recipient of the slap that came after yours, allowing you to slap really fucking hard, knowing that your poor partner would reap the rewards.
I've never been able to convince anyone else to play with me, so I'm excited to hear about this!

Posted by Davida | October 27, 2006 4:15 PM

You people are kinky.

Posted by Mistress Matisse | October 27, 2006 4:17 PM

I found that out of 10 people, 7 will be delighted/excited by being slapped, 2 will be confused and might not know what is going on, and 1 will ask you never to do that again and might even beat you up. A game of slapping roulette. It's in that micro-second post-slap exchange where people decide if they hate you or they love you. And you also might be surprised to find out why you slapped them. And what's even more subversive than slaps? Hugs.


Posted by Buster McLeod | October 27, 2006 4:30 PM

Actually I'd be happiest if you didn't fuckin' touch me at all, capisce? Keep your hands off the suit, that's all I'm sayin'.

Lloyd: no, but I'll happy to admire you from afar.

Posted by Fnarf | October 27, 2006 4:36 PM

watch the video for True Faith by New Order.

Posted by new_order | October 27, 2006 4:49 PM

Lol Fnarf. I don't know what it is about my face/head, but I go ballistic if it is contacted forcefully in any way for any fucking reason. Combine that with the fact that NW-holes think they can just cross your line (personal space, for example) and pretend it's no big deal, like it's some fucking joke. I'm not having it.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 27, 2006 5:37 PM

Like Fnarf, If someone slapped me, I'd probably burst into tears, but I don't think I'd do the rest of it. I'm horrible in confrontations.

But don't think I'm a pushover. I'd find some way to ruin your life. It's my Northwest Passive Aggresiveness. Although I'm not a native, I've lived here long enough to acquire it.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | October 27, 2006 5:46 PM

I have NWPA in spades, but like Lloyd I'm touchy too. And I have trouble with going too far. Anger management issues, you might say. An itchy finger on the trigger. Easily wounded, defensive, and impervious to physical pain. Seriously, folks, I'm fuckin' nuts, just stay away from me, I'll hurt you. NO SLAPPING.

Posted by Fnarf | October 27, 2006 5:53 PM

I was slapped and slapped back. It made me feel old, like in the '90s when every house party had a straight guy wearing a dress.

Posted by SEAN NELSON, EMERITUS | October 27, 2006 10:24 PM

there actually is a slap club in seattle. it is cleverly called slap club and activities include slapping each other across the face. hard.

slap club was founded in late 2001 by julie butterfield and myself. we were, at the time, commonly referred to as the laverne and shirley of seattle.

original members include ben gibbard, nick harmer, and chad queirolo. one of our most memorable meetings took place in the lounge at the crocodile cafe, after we had viewed jackass: the movie at a nearby cinema.

the first rule of slap club is you slap the shit out of the other members. it's fun and pretty hot.

Posted by kerri harrop | October 27, 2006 10:31 PM

Hmmm... yeah... you need to watch out in case you get a drink poured on your head after the slapping, as some robots have often discovered.

Posted by bma | October 27, 2006 11:37 PM

This behavior is also known as 'Assault and Battery' when you do it to someone who didn't consent (depending on where you live, it may not matter if consent was granted). It would probably be a misdemeanor but if you cause any serious injury it could be bumped up to a felony. You could also face a civil trial.

Posted by Slap me then pay me | October 28, 2006 5:42 AM

Now, that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat.

Posted by Miami knows how to throw down | October 28, 2006 11:17 AM

Can you upload photos to this thing, cause I've got some doosies from the WET Slapdance Smackdown.

Posted by jz | October 28, 2006 5:47 PM

good site

Posted by Flights | November 2, 2006 11:03 PM

sweet site

Posted by night vision | November 2, 2006 11:07 PM

best site

Posted by Flooring | November 2, 2006 11:08 PM

good site

Posted by B2b | November 2, 2006 11:39 PM
Posted by exporters | November 9, 2006 9:20 PM
Posted by skin care | November 9, 2006 9:22 PM
Posted by freeastrology | November 9, 2006 9:23 PM
Posted by exporters | November 9, 2006 9:35 PM

But to be fair, buster is sort of a weak slapper. Buddy, if you're going to poparize this, you need to get more slap in your wrist. I tried it in antwerp, the euros just seemed confused and started muttering about bush and american jerks.but still, kudos on bringing slapping back, B McL!

Posted by miss mishy | November 11, 2006 8:09 AM

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