well that must mean that they are not objectifying themselves, and that there is no pressure upon them (party themes, groups of friends, marketing) to objectify themselves, since people can have fun objectifying themselves especially when everyone else is doing it. after all, what's the difference between being sexy and objectifying yourself? tollman seems to know:
(from the article) In her book “Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality” (Harvard University Press), Deborah Tolman, the director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality at San Francisco State University and a professor of human sexuality studies there, found that some 30 teenage girls she studied understood being sexy as “being sexy for someone else, not for themselves,” she said.
I gotta say I think this issue is a bit overblown. Sexy, by definition, is about other people. We can pretend that you can "just feel sexy for yourself," but it's a load of crap. Sex is about appealing to the opposite (or the same) sex, for the purpose of sex. The fact that these teenage girls understood that being sexy involves others' perception of them is unremarkable.
As for why there are no "sexy" costumes for men, what would those costumes be? Everyone seems to complain that there are none, but I haven't heard many reasonable suggestions. Why? Because men aren't as sexy as women. That's not to say that many people of both genders don't find men sexy, but there isn't as much of a stereotypical "sexy man" look, and this trend is all about stereotypes.
The author of the piece writes, "Today, there are bride costumes for little girls but one is hard pressed to find groom costumes for little boys."
Well, maybe that's because a groom costume would just be a tuxedo, and no one would get it. "What are you supposed to be? A waiter?"
"It’s a night when even a nice girl can dress like a dominatrix and still hold her head up the next morning."
I wonder what Mistress Matisse would say...
have you noticed how many men embrace their inner slut at halloween. Same amount as any other time of year.
I love Halloween and I love dressing up. You'll never see me in an ugly or frumpy costume though, hell no. If I'm going to get dressed up its going to be as something I find sexy. Its all in good fun people! Its a blast to dress up as something you normally are not. Plus its fun to meet your man at the door in a Playboy bunny outfit, perks things right up!
Men can also look forward to embracing their woman's inner slut
Halloween is the same as any other day of the year. You can go ahead and Recognize the sexiness of the 'I'm sexy' look, you know -- if it's sexy, but is it going to get you a smile or a scowl?
A lot of Sexy is just a costume.
"But the abundance of risqué costumes hat will be shrink-wrapped around legions of women come Oct. 31 prompts a larger question: Why have so many girls grown up to trade in Wonder Woman costumes for little more than Wonderbras?"
Oh, yeah, because Wonder Woman is the very model of prudent costuming.
In England they've been doing "vicars and tarts" costume parties forever.
My point wasn't that no women were planning to "embrace their inner slut" (although I contend there are better ways to do that than wrapping yourself in a polyester stewardess costume) , but that there are NO options available for those who don't want to do that on Halloween - and I mean literally none. I've made and worn my share of "sexy" costumes on Halloween, but they've been a bit more creative than the prepackaged male fantasies available at your local sex shop.
Just remember, the black cat costume works for almost any woman.
Vicars & Tarts party... lets have one!
Sarah Silverman did a hilarious segment on Crank Yankers where she called up a costume shop asking if they stocked a "sexy Hitler" costume.
Technically, if we're adhering to shallow nomenclatures (that's my disclaimer), woman will be embracing their inner "tease" in those costumes. A designation of "slut" will be entirely subjective.
Q: what's a sexy ghost wear?
A: a fitted sheet!!
i wrote it myself. this joke goes over well at parties and book club meetings, especially when people have had a few....
thank god for the liberal media.
Liberal media... this discussion? Contemplating Halloween in a heterosexual context is the most middle-of-the-road thing to likely happen here all day.
Most fun I ever had in a Halloween costume was the year I went as a Wild Thing - one of the monsters from Where The Wild Things Are. It was made by a friend of mine. It was too f***ing HOT, but it was cute, comfy, and showed no more skin than a Shiite would allow.
Everyone recognized it and everyone was blown away by it.
The year I borrowed one of my sister's belly dancing costumes (she used to be a professional belly dancer) was one for the record books - something about a belly dance costume makes all manner of guys hit on you, whether or not you have a possessive and glowering boyfriend hovering over your shoulder. One guy asked if I wanted to come home with him. I said, "um, I'm here with my boyfriend" he said, "oh, that doesn't matter."
Hmmm,.. Sexy is only for someone else? Sexy is about energy. Energy comes from inside. When someone is dressed in stereotypical "sexy" clothes and they are uncomfortable with it, do you find them sexy? Not me. They are just uncomfortable. I have seen veiled women that were sexier than someone dressing like a "slut". And no, I don't have a thing for veiled women, or any other costume. If you don't feel it neither will they. Those teenage girls have a long road ahead of them working against a culture that tells us we shoould look sexy but not feel it...
There are definitely sexy stereotypical images for men. They are often shirtless and/or use uniforms. The uniform denotes the role and lets the fantasy begin...
And to Dougsf,.. Take responsibility for your desires, emotions, actions. Is she really "teasing" you? Her world revolves around you? Or any other man she comes in contact with..? She may be doing what she is dong because it pleases her or it pleases her to please someone else in her world. Teasing takes interaction. It is just as subjective as "slut".
I hope that whatever costume you choose/buy/create/etc. satisfies something inside of you on this one day when we are not being judged by how we look. Have fun and feel good!
Geni @ #18 and Dat Ba'thani @ #19: You rock.
If Halloween night is women's sexiest night of the year, then doesn't that disprove once and for all the despicable idea that women who get raped were asking for it due to their attire? Since of course the number of rapes Halloween night are no higher than any other night of the year.
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