Media Gilbert Arenas, Rep. Jim McDermott, and the Sexy Queen of Jordan
posted by October 25 at 1:48 AMon
Knowing how much I dig NBA point guard Gilbert Arenas, several friends have pointed me to the November issue of Esquire. The magazine has an NBA 2007 preview. And unlike this week’s Sports Illustrated NBA preview, which predictably features LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Carmelo Anthony, Esquire’s contrarian article stars Arenas. Esquire calls the Washington Wizards guard, “the NBA’s most unheralded superstar.” (True! 6 apg, 29.3 ppg, and a league-leading playoff average of 34 ppg last year.) Arenas is featured in the centerfold picture and featured in a goofed out “new journalism” interview.
There is a sidebar (ha!) on King James.
As Wizards fans know, national exposure for Jillbert is long overdue.
Here’s the excerpt my friends kept telling me about:
ENTRY 15: SELF-IMPOSED COMMUNICATION BARRIERS When I get a new cell phone, first thing I do is turn it off and call from my house phone and leave stupid little messages to myself. Like: “It’s me.” “It’s me.” “This is Gilbert.” “It’s me.” “It’s Gilbert.” I just fill it up, so no one can leave messages. If you don’t, you leave for an hour and thirteen people have called. So there are thirteen new messages you have to listen to and it’s like, Oh, man. I don’t feel like hearing people’s stories. Most people love leaving messages that they don’t want to tell you in person. So I cut that off.
And here’s the part I liked best:
ENTRY 16: SELF-MOTIVATIONAL MECHANISMS The subject steps out of his dressing closet holding a list he keeps there of every player in the 2001 NBA draft who was selected ahead of him. All thirty. He runs his fingers down the page. He has scratched out each player who is no longer in the league. “Hmpff,” he says, pausing on a name. “I got to get the pencil out. Utah. Raul Lopez? Ain’t seen him much lately.”
And here’s an excerpt I’m not sure I understand:
ENTRY 8: UNUSUAL SLEEPING RITUALS SUBJECT [interviewed while playing two-man Halo in his bedroom]: You can’t see very good. I’ll sit down on the floor if you want.
OBSERVER: No, I can tell you like to play on the bed. I’ll stay here.
SUBJECT: I just started sleeping in this bed after three years. I used to sleep over there.
OBSERVER: Where? On the couch?
SUBJECT: Yeah. I trained myself to sleep on the couch.
OBSERVER: Why would you do that?
SUBJECT: You know.
OBSERVER: Not really.
SUBJECT: I don’t like women all up on me, touching me. So I get up and go.
SUBJECT: Then they get up and go. [Subject points to the video-game screen.] Stay there. Wait for me behind that door.
OBSERVER: What door?
SUBJECT [shaking his head]: I discovered that women don’t like that much.
It’s also Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” issue. They go with Scarlett Johansson.
And they’ve got all these other super foxy women too. For example, Queen Rania of Jordan! No burqa for her.
There’s also a great feature in the magazine on the upcoming mid-term elections. They choose the 9 worst members of Congress (the Cynthia McKinney Awards!) including: Frist, Santorum, Pelosi and Hastert. And they choose the nine best members of Congress, including: Hagel, Feingold, and Rep. John Lewis!
Then they make endorsements in every U.S. Senate, House, and Gubernatorial race in the country. I went right to Washington state to see if they get it. And they do: They endorse Burner over Reichert, Goldmark over McMorris, Cantwell over McGavick, Inslee (of course!) …and…something I wish the Stranger Election Control Board had the guts to do: They don’t endorse McDermott. I took that as proof that they did their homework.
Oh, there’s also a bubble-gum beatnik essay by Chuck Klosterman on why the NBA is cooler than other sports. A pseudo intellectual excerpt:
Basketball is different. Pro basketball changes with culture. It’s a youth game, it’s a street game, and it’s an artists’ game…its style of play reinvents itself every five or ten years. Basketball is dynamic, and basketball is reflective; if you profoundly understand the NBA, you can partially understand America. This is why the NBA is important.
Klosterman spouts the same Larry Bird/Magic Johnson 80s worship that everyone is so full of (way Overrated, in my opinion). Otherwise, it’s quite the re-bop write up.