Lovin’ and Hatin’ with K-Fed
posted by on October 31 at 15:57 PM
Kevin Federline makes his, uh, journalism debut with an article for the New York Post. Okay, so I know that the NYPost doesn’t waste time courting eggheads, but this shit is unreal:
I honestly think the media is a give-and-take. It’s not that I can say, Completely f - - k you. I could just only say, Halfway f - - k you. But I know why they do it. It’s because they’re making a lot of money. So I can’t be mad at you. I come from a place where people do a lot of things to make money. So I cannot be mad at them. But I like that real journalism. I like putting other people’s words in a sentence and making people, like, their faces light up about it. Not frown. Light up.
And if that doesn’t make your eyes bleed:
It’s almost like, I didn’t realize how much people love to hate me! It’s crazy. I couldn’t really point a finger. You know, maybe I blame myself, like, explaining to people what kind of dad I am, because I like to keep my private life private. You don’t see pictures of me with my kids everywhere because I don’t - that’s not me. I want to do a book - the book is definite. It will be a biography of my life until I met my wife, so people will better understand who I am. I haven’t done it yet. You know, I’ll get a ghostwriter in there.
On another note, K-Fed reminds me of a ferret I drowned in a toilet once. On accident.
How do you 'accidentally' drown a ferret in a toilet?
I'm not gonna be able to read your answer, 'cause my eyes are bleeding.
Comparing K-fed to a ferrett you accidentally drowned in a toilet is an insult to the ferrett. And the toilet, for that matter.
You simply must invite him to the Salon of Shame.
How long had the ferret been dead? Because the comparison would be fair if the ferret had been dead for, say, a year or so.
The Post is definitely taking the piss. I'm sure they're setting new records for web hits as word gets around, "hey, look at this idiot". But wow. This is brilliant art, huh? I'm getting a tshirt that says "Not frown. Light up."
I'll take the T-shirt that says: "making people, like, their faces"
I think a shirt that said "Halfway Fuck You" would be interesting.
Like, maybe just a "FUCK YOU" with the bottom half blocked out.
Good God. Perhaps he went to the same school of grammar that Bush did. Reading that, I had almost the same cringing reaction to the mangling of the English language as I do listening to Bush at pretty much any speaking engagement. *sigh*
My God, his "writing" is worse than my slog posts.
Rough. Like, serious.
Be sure to notice the true mark of journalistic integrity:
"- as told to Maureen Callahan"
Which only makes this even more amusing.
Thank you "L" for immediately jumping on the ferret comment. I made a bet with myself the the first comment would be from a ferret. I now owe myself $1.
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