Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

Archives for 10/01/2006 - 10/07/2006

Friday, October 6, 2006

Becoming Attractions

posted by on October 6 at 5:06 PM

I’ve decided that I need to see the new Martin Scorsese movie this weekend. I can’t resist, even though I found Gangs of New York disappointing (save for Daniel Day-Lewis’ deliciously evil turn, of course). I’m also rather eager to see Science of Sleep, the new film from Michel Gondry, the writer/director responsible for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:

I also have to reiterate Annie Wagner’s recommendation of the Streetwise screening this Sunday:

‘Streetwise’ and ‘Erin’ (FILMS) Mary Ellen Mark’s hard photograph of a 14-year-old Seattle street kid named Tiny, clutching her forearms and frowning deeply behind the veil of her French whore’s costume, isn’t just an iconic image—it’s an eerie document of our city, circa 1983. Streetwise, the feature-length doc about Tiny and her friends, is a stunning scrap of the story behind that frown; Erin catches you up on what’s happened since. Mark and Erin Charles (AKA Tiny) will talk after the screening. (Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250 ext 3. 2 pm, $10—$15.) ANNIE WAGNER

What are you seeing this weekend?

Headline of the Day

posted by on October 6 at 4:47 PM

“LGBT archive goes to Library of Congress”

Uh… for shredding?

Re: Linde Knighton

posted by on October 6 at 3:35 PM

Never mind the gay male vote. Linde Knighton might just sweep the straight male vote. Check out her starlet beautiful senior high school yearbook photo:

Linde Knighton, Boise HS (Boise, Idaho), 1965

As we quoted her in our 2002 endorsement issue (when we grilled the candidates about their high school days…and in Knight’s case…on losing her virginity: “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Yes we would!

Linde Knighton Wants a Moment of Your Time

posted by on October 6 at 3:05 PM

And man, is she persistent…


Knighton, the Progressive Party candidate for the state house seat from Seattle’s 43rd District, admits that she doesn’t have a chance this November against local golden-boy Jamie Pedersen, who eked out a narrow victory in the Sept. 19 primary to become the Democratic nominee.

She might do better against the Republican candidate, University of Washington sophomore Hugh Foskett — although, in the gay, gay 43rd, Foskett’s head-shot could peel a few wandering eyes (and votes) away from Pedersen’s homo-establishment-approved candidacy, making him perhaps competitive for second-place.


Anyway, after several calls to The Stranger requesting attention for her run, I had an interesting interview with Knighton this morning. She plans to spend less than $3,500 on the race, is making health care and election reform her primary issues, and when asked if she has a realistic shot at the seat, says:

No, but I sure have a chance of making people pay attention. People don’t get that it’s not just about winning. It is most certainly about getting people to realize what the real issues are.

Knighton says she wants to be the voice of people who make less than $1,000 a month, as she often does. She worked much of her career as a certified nurse’s aide, but now, at 59, works as a part-time fund-raiser for the 5th Avenue theater.

Her biggest accomplishment, she says, came during her failed 2002 run for Pat Thibaudeau’s senate seat in the 43rd District. During that race, Knighton claims, she was able to push the sales tax issue to the forefront. (The state sales tax, Knighton and others have pointed out, places a disproportionate burden on poor people. The remedy, she says, is an additional 1-percent income tax on people earning over $100,000 per year.)

It seems a little bizarre, but my biggest accomplishment is that last time I ran, every time I brought up income tax, everyone said, ‘No, no, no, it’s a horrible idea.’ By the end of the campaign, everybody was talking about it.

That, she says, is precisely the role of third-party candidates.

We bring it up, we do the thinking, and they do the copying and then eventually, we hope, they will actually do something about it. But I think, sometimes, the ones who are sincere about it ought to actually be elected.

On election reform, Knighton wants to do away with the current primary system and adopt an instant-runoff approach. It’s not fair, she says, that there are more Greens in the 43rd District than Republicans, and yet it’s only the Democrats and Republicans who were on this year’s primary ballot.

Because sexuality has been such an issue in the 43rd race, I asked Knighton about hers. She’s bi-sexual, a fact that she says didn’t sit well with the gay elections endorsement group SEAMEC, which gave her a mediocre rating.

When SEAMEC asked her how she would react to her spouse announcing a desire for a sex-change operation, Knighton responded:

You ask a bi-sexual this?

Her own marriage to a man ended a while ago, Knighton says, and now she is happily single. (“I am allergic to hot-tempered males from Puysandu, Urugay,” she says.)

Want to know more about Knighton and her views? Click here.

A Stranger Newsmaker Interview w/ Rep. Jay Inslee (D-1)

posted by on October 6 at 2:10 PM

The Stranger Election Control Board had U.S. Rep. Jay Inslee in earlier this week to pitch us on I-937 (the initiative on this November’s ballot that mandates utilities get 15% of their electricity from renewable sources by 2020.)

Inslee is a serious environmentalist. In addition to stumping for Washington State’s renewable energy initiaive, he’s also pushing his own Apollo Energy Bill in Congress. The bill, HR2828, lays out policy to lower CO2 emissions; promote renewable energy; promote energy independence from foreign oil; and promote economic development (of alternative energy production.)

Inslee says we need to reduce CO2 emissions by 70% from today’s levels. One of the ideas he’s pushing is a “cap & trade” system on CO2 emissions. Basically, Inslee says, the government should set a limit on CO2 emissions—and then divvy up and sell off the rights to companies to produce CO2 up to that limit. (Sounds like a carbon tax to me!)

The SECB took advantage of the I-937 interview, asking Inslee to stay afterward to talk about other issues: Mark Foley; the GOP charge that Democrats are weak-kneed pinkos when it comes to national security; Mayor Nickels’s tunnel plan (which will crank up Seattle’s CO2 levels thanks to its fat commitment to auto capacity); and the possibility for subpoenas in the 110th Congress.

Listen to him turn to tables on the GOP and basically say that Republicans who supported scrapping habeas corpus are in league with the terrorists!

Inslee represents the turf just North of Seattle (North King County and South Snohomish) and has a flaming liberal record on par with Rep. Jim McDermott (D-7).

Stick a Yellow Ribbon on Your SUV

posted by on October 6 at 2:08 PM

Slog tipper Lara wanted to share this Asylum Street Spankers video with readers. It’s funny/depressing stuff, which is just about the only kind of stuff we’ve got in this country anymore.

Cantwell/McGavick Debate: A Question for Cantwell

posted by on October 6 at 2:04 PM

On Tuesday October 17 at 9pm, GOP challenger Mike McGavick will face off against incumbent Democratic Senator Maria Cantwell in a KING 5 televised debate.

I’d like to suggest one question for Cantwell:

Please explain, specifically, how the Levin amendment (Sen. Carl Levin, D-MI) mandates a timely withdrawal from Iraq.

Cantwell has scored points with her base by calling for withdrawal from Iraq. She’s basically paraphrasing and puffing up her June vote for the Levin Amendment.

However, as I pointed out in this article, the Levin Amendment is mushy and meaningless:

Here’s what the Levin amendment does: nothing. It doesn’t spell out a plan for getting Iraqi forces up to speed. It doesn’t set a timeline for withdrawal. The Levin amendment’s only concrete dictate, that “the president should… submit to Congress a plan by the end of 2006 with estimated dates for the continued phased redeployment… from Iraq…” is neutered not only by the words “should” and “estimated,” but by the concluding line: “with the understanding that unexpected contingencies may arise.”

Senator Levin’s own press release stated: “The amendment… doesn’t establish a timetable for redeployment and it does not call for a precipitous withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.”

I had a chance to sit down and interview Cantwell last week back in D.C. , and I asked her to explain exactly how the Levin amendment mandated troop withdrawal. Here’s that conversation. You’ll see, she does not answer the question:

Cantwell: We want accountability out of the administration on whether 2006 is going to be the year that these guys [the Iraqis] stand up, take over their own government, and start to take charge of their own security. And we want to make sure that happens and we’re writing that into legislation. In 2006 with theLevin Amendment, we tried to strengthen that.

Josh: And how does it strengthen it exactly?

Cantwell: Because it basically says we need to make sure that these things are being recognized that aren’t getting addressed. The notion of this whole international effort, the fact that the administration wasn’t making the milestones toward getting the troops actually trained, getting the progress done. So we wanted to reinforce that in the Levin language.

……so, I hope Robert Mak, or whoever the moderator is, asks it again.

Any other questions for Cantwell?

Cantwell/McGavick Debate: A Question for McGavick

posted by on October 6 at 2:03 PM

On Tuesday October 17 at 9pm, GOP challenger Mike McGavick will face off against incumbent Democratic Senator Maria Cantwell in a KING 5 televised debate.

I’d like to suggest one question for McGavick: Why is he covering up his track record at SAFECO?

The Democrats did a public records request earlier this year to take a look at the data behind a Washington state Office of the Insurance Commissioner report (mandated by the legislature) to look at the controversial insurance industry practice known as “credit scoring.” (Credit scoring involves looking at members credit histoy rather than things like driving records to drop them or raise rates.)

The practice is illegal in several states (including Florida where SAFECO, during McGavick’s tenure, got fined $35,000 for credit scoring.)

A Thurston County Superior Court judge (backed by Republican AG Rob McKenna) ruled that the Democrats had every right to see the credit scoring study. But SAFECO has appealed that decision, and now, the info—hung up in the courts—won’t be daylighted until after the election.

The Dems complain:

McGavick has made his career at Safeco a prominent issue in the campaign, but is apparently only willing to talk about profits and stock prices — not how he cancelled the insurance policies of Washingtonians with spotless driving records, many of whom were poor and minority customers, based on their personal credit history.

So, again, why doesn’t Mike McGavick want the public to know what the Office of the Insurance Commissioner knows about his tenure at SAFECO?

Any other questions for McGavick?

Remember Checks and Balances?

posted by on October 6 at 1:59 PM

Bush doesn’t.

The Boston Globe reports that according to a new congressional study, the president has used special “signing statements” to claim a right to disobey or ignore portions of more than 800 laws, including the torture ban, provisions of the USA PATRIOT Act, and a law requiring the Homeland Security Department to follow minimum privacy standards when conducting background checks. In contrast, all previous presidents combined issued 600 such statements.

In a 27-page report written for lawmakers, the research service said the Bush administration is using signing statements as a means to slowly condition Congress into accepting the White House’s broad conception of presidential power, which includes a presidential right to ignore laws he believes are unconstitutional. […]

Under most interpretations of the Constitution, the report said, some of the legal assertions in Bush’s signing statements are dubious. For example, it said, the administration has suggested repeatedly that the president has exclusive authority over foreign affairs and has an absolute right to withhold information from Congress. Such assertions are “generally unsupported by established legal principles,” the report said.

Despite such criticism, the administration has continued to issue signing statements for new laws. Last week, for example, Bush signed the 2007 military budget bill, but then issued a statement challenging 16 of its provisions.

The bill bars the Pentagon from using any intelligence that was collected illegally, including information about Americans that was gathered in violation of the Fourth Amendment’s protections against unreasonable government surveillance.

In Bush’s signing statement, he suggested that he alone could decide whether the Pentagon could use such information. His signing statement instructed the military to view the law in light of “the president’s constitutional authority as commander in chief, including for the conduct of intelligence operations, and to supervise the unitary executive branch.”

Bush also challenged three sections that require the Pentagon to notify Congress before diverting funds to new purposes, including top-secret activities or programs. Congress had already decided against funding. Bush said he was not bound to obey such statutes if he decided, as commander in chief, that withholding such information from Congress was necessary to protect security secrets.

So, to recap: Bush believes that he can ignore the provisions of bills he signs into law if he doesn’t agree with them. So far, he’s used the signing statements to justify torture, spending tax dollars without the permission of Congress, and ignoring the 14th Amendment. He also claimed the right to disregard minimum requirements for future heads of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, one of three dozen provisions of the homeland security bill he unilaterally rejected.

These are scary times.

Hell Iraq

posted by on October 6 at 1:45 PM

As we approach the 3000 mark.

Best Lost Theory Yet

posted by on October 6 at 1:38 PM


Hannes AlfvƩn=the key to Lost?

A few hours before the season premier of Lost this week, my boyfriend began theorizing that the island and the Dharma Initiative were actually secure incubators for regenerating the human race after a nuclear war or some sort of cataclysmic disaster. This immediately made sense to me—much more than any of the other theories I’ve heard posited.

Apparently he’s not the only one to stumble upon this train of thought. Here’s a link to an analysis by someone who’s done an impressive amount of research on the theory, complete with historical reference points. Does this sound plausible, Slog readers?

“It defies belief that this president and his administration could continue to find new unexplored political gutters into which they could wallow.”

posted by on October 6 at 1:34 PM

Another stirring commentary from MSNBC’s Keith “Have you no sense of decency, sir?” Olbermann. Watch it.

Yesterday at a fundraiser for an Arizona congressman, Mr. Bush claimed, quote, “177 of the opposition party said, `You know, we don’t think we ought to be listening to the conversations of terrorists.’ā€¯

The hell they did.

One hundred seventy-seven Democrats opposed the president’s seizure of another part of the Constitution.

Not even the White House press office could actually name a single Democrat who had ever said the government shouldn’t be listening to the conversations of terrorists.

President Bush hears what he wants.

Tuesday, at another fundraiser in California, he had said, “Democrats take a law enforcement approach to terrorism. That means America will wait until we’re attacked again before we respond.ā€¯

Mr. Bush fabricated that, too.

And evidently he has begun to fancy himself as a mind reader.

“If you listen closely to some of the leaders of the Democratic Party,ā€¯ the president said at another fundraiser Monday in Nevada, “it sounds like they think the best way to protect the American people is — wait until we’re attacked again.ā€¯

The president doesn’t just hear what he wants.

He hears things that only he can hear.

It defies belief that this president and his administration could continue to find new unexplored political gutters into which they could wallow.

Yet they do.

It is startling enough that such things could be said out loud by any president of this nation.

Rhetorically, it is about an inch short of Mr. Bush accusing Democratic leaders, Democrats, the majority of Americans who disagree with his policies of treason. […]

No critic, no commentator, no reluctant Republican in the Senate has ever said anything that any responsible person could even have exaggerated into the slander you spoke in Nevada on Monday night, nor the slander you spoke in California on Tuesday, nor the slander you spoke in Arizona on Wednesday … nor whatever is next.

You have dishonored your party, sir; you have dishonored your supporters; you have dishonored yourself.

But tonight the stark question we must face is — why?

Why has the ferocity of your venom against the Democrats now exceeded the ferocity of your venom against the terrorists?

Why have you chosen to go down in history as the president who made things up?

In less than one month you have gone from a flawed call to unity to this clarion call to hatred of Americans, by Americans.

If this is not simply the most shameless example of the rhetoric of political hackery, then it would have to be the cry of a leader crumbling under the weight of his own lies. […]

But if we know one thing for certain about Mr. Bush, it is this: This president — in his bullying of the Senate last month and in his slandering of the Democrats this month — has shown us that he believes whoever the enemies are, they are hiding themselves inside a dangerous cloak called the Constitution of the United States of America.

A Postcard From Terminal B

posted by on October 6 at 12:49 PM

Jen Graves just called me from Terminal B of the George H.W. Bush airport in Houston, Texas.

“What can you see?” I asked.
“Miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles of Texas.”
“What does it smell like?”
“Rug. New rug.”

She was calling to tell me that a painting, called Honorific by Seattle artist Joe Park made an appearance on last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

“What scene was it in?” I asked.
“I don’t know, someone else just called me about it, but I’m going to download the episode as soon as I get to Dallas.”

Jen wrote her first-ever review for Art in America about Joseph Park. (I couldn’t find it archived on their site, but there’s a digital “reprint” of the piece here. In it, she says:

The surfaces of the oils on linen and canvas are as smooth as television cartoons. Park often substitutes bears, bunnies and elephants for human subjects and makes the light moody and cinematic. His scenes, in which the characters wear stylized masks, are cloaked in the conventions of film, photography, animation, pinup posters or French painting of the 18th and 19th centuries… The images invoke a specific, usually anxious, moment within a story that is never explained, only suggested.

I couldn’t find an internet image of Honorific, but here’s one called Chess:


And here’s another, called Harem (After Elvgren):


(Gil Evlgren, in case you were wondering, was a pin-up artist.)

And this melancholy little guy (which, improbably, makes an image of a Japanese altar romantic in a dusty, European, Django Reinhardt kind of way) called Crescent Silhouette:


Anyway—Jen wants you all to know that one of this guy’s paintings was on Grey’s Anatomy. She’ll write more about it later.

“One more thing,” she said. “There’s a voice coming over the intercom advertising the interfaith chapel, saying it’s ‘open twenty-four hours, all day.’ That’s ‘twenty-four hours comma all day.’ Except when she says all day it sounds like all die—because we’re in Texas.”

Foley: Booze & Boys

posted by on October 6 at 12:23 PM

The debate over the Mark Foley scandal has boiled down to just two questions: Bad for Republicans? Or bad for the gays?

It’s seems to me that it could wind up being bad for Republicans and bad for gays—including all you gay Republicans. (Hey there, Ken Mehlman!) The Republican leadership and right-wing Christian nutters in their base, like the Catholic hierarchy before them, desperately want to pin the blame on homos—as if we created and enforced the culture of the closet, a culture that creates, protects, and rewards men like Mark Foley.

But the average American could, after this is all over, trust Republicans less and fear homos more. We can head that off if out homos and sensible heteros keep hammering home the one thing that distinguishes the Mark Foleys of the world, e.g. the gays you should fear, from the gays you should not fear: being out. Yes, yes: out folks have done and do shitty things, of course. (Hey there, Andrew Cunanan!). But out folks generally do not have are sex lives warped by shame and secrecy—the kind of sex life, in other words, that lends itself to desperate, abusive behavior.

Shame and fear of discovery dominates the psyche of a Mark Foley, making any and all attempts to obtain sexual release fraught with panic. You can’t sustain a relationship inside the closet, in part because so few gay men are willing to settle for that kind of relationship anymore. So what are your sexual options if you’re a Mark Foley? Cruisy parks, booking a rentboy, slipping into a bathhouse—all risky activities, and not something you’re likely to do unless you can find a way to, you know, lower your inhibitions somehow. Which brings us to…


Some people doubt that Foley is actually a drunk. I don’t doubt it—most closet cases are.

While some out gay men have serious substance abuse problems, Lord knows, the closet and the bottle were made for each other. I’ll go farther than that: The culture of the closet wouldn’t survive ten freakin’ minutes without booze. When you’re not particularly horny, just miserably lonely, booze numbs the pain. When you’re horny, booze is the only thing that allows you to suppress your fear and shame long enough to finally go out there and get some. What an incentive to drink! Which brings us to…


A lot of closet cases go in for boys. And why not? Hot fucking boys—and when I say “boysā€¯ I mean “guys anywhere from the age of consent to extremely well-preserved 35 year-oldsā€¯—are, you know, fucking hot. And America, despite the impression you may have gotten over the last few days, absolutely loves boys. Most of the male sex symbols of the past twenty or thirty years have been men with boyish looks, bodies, or both. David Cassidy, Joey Lawrence, Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio circa Titanic, Ashton Kutcher, Brad Pitt circa Thelma and Louise, Jake Gyllenhall.

But closeted boys, particularly the ones under 21, bring something else to the table besides the reigning male beauty ideal and, absurdly enough, some of the same signifiers of fertility that attract straight men to teenage women. For the closet case boys are appealing because, often, they’re not all that bright. They’re easily impressed by even a modicum of power and money. And if they’re gay and closeted too, which some of Foley’s crushes appear to have been, they have shame and fear issues of their own, which makes them extremely easy to manipulate.

For the closet cases, a sex partner that is every bit as fearful of disclosure as they themselves are is an attractive thing. But for an older closet case to attract younger closet cases he has to be successful—he has to have power, money, status.

When two deeply closeted men—whatever their ages—sleep together, it’s like some gay version of M.A.D., or “mutual assured destruction,ā€¯ the balance of terror that got us through the worst of Cold War. He’s not going to reveal your secret because you would, in turn, reveal his. You both have the power to destroy each other. An adult in Foley’s position—a closeted congressman—may objectively have more to lose if his secret is revealed, but a closeted, fearful, easily manipulated gay teenager is likelier to feel more vulnerable. While the closeted adult might “justā€¯ lose his job, the closeted teenager fears losing his parents, the financial support they provide him, his home, his siblings, his friends. His whole world, really, is at risk.

And younger closeted gay teens are often attracted to older male closet cases for a reason that’s as depressing as it thankfully is fleeting. A lot of gay teenagers—particularly ones with conservative and/or religious parents—in despair decide that they’re never going to come out. To most openly gay men a closet case is a pathetic relic from another age, but to a gay teen still bargaining with fate, an older, successful, wealthy, powerful and closeted gay man is a role model. The older closet case shows the younger one that he can have it all—power, money, status, a straight-identified life, and lots of gay sex.

Most gay teens who mess around with older closet cases quickly come to their senses—nothing cures a desire to remain closeted more than hanging out with some depressing, fearful, drunken old closet case—but the old closet cases stumble on until booze gets the better of them and they do something so stupid and risky that they finally manage to out themselves.

The List

posted by on October 6 at 12:19 PM

Democrat groups are reported to be compiling a list of gay Congressional staffers and elected officials. The list is said to predominantly be comprised of Republican gays.

Rush Limbaugh advised Friday that this list may be released and published on the Internet, sometime next week. The move is said to be an attempt to suppress the Republican Christian vote in the upcoming 2006 November elections.

Arts In America

posted by on October 6 at 10:40 AM

1) “If someone were to come along, dig a moderately deep hole in my garden, give me a metal box and tell me I had half an hour to put together a 2006 time-capsule, Jonathan Raban’s new novel is the first thing I’d grab.” (Note: while reading this super review of Raban’s new novel, do not for a instant let it out of your mind that he received this year’s Genius Award for literature.)

2) “Žižek has a penchant for telling dirty jokes, quoting Hegel, and exclaiming that everything you think is wrong.”

3) “It’s this country’s favorite form of public interaction and, along with watching television, of recreation. It claims more workers, and fills more space, than any other pursuit—considerably more nonresidential construction is devoted exclusively to it, though you can also do it in museums, houses of worship, airports, and hospitals. It wards off depression, emotional and economic. It reflects and promotes subtle and seismic shifts in societal attitudes, so it’s at once an unstoppable engine of change and among the most fickle, unpredictable, and vulnerable of human activities. It’s the emblem of modernity. Shopping.”

4) `I am a true Lynch fan. Fuck “Blue Velvet”, everyone loves it. The real Lynch is not “Twin Peaks” the series, but “Fire Walk with Me”, and “Dune”, of course.’

5) “Despite his film’s simplified overdetermination and tidy wrap-ups, Mitchell manages to do something that many filmmakers find surprisingly difficult: make sex sexy. Compare any one of Winterbottom’s drab fucks with the delicate turn-on of the scene in which the boyish Ceth serenades James and Jamie with his guitar before engaging in a riotous, tender three-way, and it becomes clear — it’s the gradual accruing of character traits, rather than the anonymity of flesh, that sets “Shortbus” apart.”

Picture 2.jpg


Porn-Star Pajama Party
(CLUB NIGHT) Move over foam party, it’s pajama-jammie time! That’s right, a real, live pajama party hosted by none other than Ron “I get more ass than a toilet seat!” Jeremy. Not only do you get to meet the world-famous Hedgehog, but there’s some sort of “best evening wear” contest and a chance to win 500 bucks. Something tells me it’s better to show up in some barely there lingerie versus that Sylvester the Cat souvenir “Theattle” nightshirt your mom bought at the Pike Place Market. (Trinity, 111 Yesler Way, 447-4140. 9 pm, $10.) KELLY O

The P-I’s October Surprise

posted by on October 6 at 10:00 AM

It’s a bad media morning for Dave Reichert. In today’s Seattle Post-Intelligencer, reporter Lewis Kamb delivers the results of what has clearly been a long investigation into the big myth that props up Reichert’s popularity: That Reichert was a super-cop who caught the Green River Killer and then humbly accepted the fame that flowed from such an accomplishment.

Today’s P-I stories, and Reichert’s response, are local politics must-reads:

Reichert touts law record, but critics don’t see it his way

Sheriff Reichert’s supervision questioned in bizarre arson

Dave Reichert’s response to the P-I

The major findings:

* Critics say Reichert was more of an obstacle than as asset to the Green River Killer investigation, that he exaggerated his role as “lead detective” in the case, and that he repeatedly argued against focusing on Gary Ridgway as a prime suspect in the case. Here is Reichert, in a 1987 P-I file photo, searching for evidence in the case:


* After his instincts about Ridgway proved wrong, “Sheriff Hairspray” then dressed up in full Sheriff’s regalia and used the interrogations of Ridgway as a photo-op.


* Reichert conducted a 20-year campaign within the Sheriff’s department to get himself a Medal of Valor for a 1973 incident that resulted in his throat being slashed. But:

“He got his throat slashed because of sloppy police work,” said Frank Atchley, who supervised Reichert in the 1980s.

* In 1982, Reichert had a prostitute stay at his home, against department policy, to try to reform her. At the time, she was a primary witness in a homicide investigation.

* When confronted about a payroll problem, Sheriff Reichert told the attorney for the deputies’ guild to go fuck himself — after which the guild won a lawsuit for more than $7 million.

Reichert “very briefly told me how I could go have intercourse with myself,” Vick told the P-I last year. When the matter wasn’t resolved after 90 days, the guild sued. The county settled out of court for $7.6 million, including legal fees.

“Dave Reichert cost the county $7 million that never had to be spent,” Vick said. “If they had just fixed a payroll problem, there never would’ve been a lawsuit.”

* Reichert’s highly-publicized chase after a WTO looter in 1999 was seen by Seattle’s then-mayor and police chief as an instance of ignoring orders and showboating for the cameras.

Former Seattle Mayor Paul Schell claims Reichert “saw the TV cameras and ran after the guy.”

Reichert was well aware of an order for cops to stand down from defending property, and focus instead on protecting people, Schell said.

“He was hot-dogging it,” Schell said.

Former Seattle police Chief Norm Stamper said Reichert’s action amounted to breaking rank. “If that had been a beat cop, we would’ve been having words with him,” he said.

* Buttressing claims that Reichert was a bad manager in the Sheriff’s department, the P-I uncovers a never-reported lawsuit against the department over Reichert’s failure to remove from duty a sergeant who was blatantly meddling in a felony arson investigation (it turned out the sergeant had burned down his own home to collect insurance money and later went on to kill a man as part of his attempted cover-up).

One Ring to Ruin Them All

posted by on October 6 at 9:13 AM


Will the Seahawks get back to the Super Bowl this year? No.

In our view, they’ve gotten complacent. They simply don’t have the same desire to get to the top of the conference, and to take the next step.

The best evidence? Apart from the 37-6 thrashing they took in Chicago on Sunday night, running back Shaun Alexander, who is out with a foot injury, was wearing his NFC championship ring on the sidelines.

Shaun, while you’re still playing football, an NFC title is nothing to be proud of without an NFL championship two weeks behind it. Absent the Lombardi, winning the conference connotes failure, not success.

When you’re out of the game, that’s different. If you don’t have a Super Bowl ring to wear, then by all means bring out the second-place prize. A lot of guys don’t have one. But while you’re still a member of the NFL, that NFC championship ring is a constant reminder that you got close but couldn’t finish the deal.

Though on one hand it’s possible that Alexander is wearing his ring as a source of motivation to take it one step farther, we have a feeling that the real reason is pride not passion. And if the 2005 NFL MVP is content to rest on his laurels, why shouldn’t the rest of the team?

We’ll see if the Hawks can rebound against the Rams after their bye week. But complacency may partially explain why the team’s D has yet to play a complete game this season.

Darcy Burner Commercial No. 3

posted by on October 6 at 8:50 AM

Anyone detecting a theme yet? In this brand new commercial, just as in the pro-Burner commercial I posted yesterday, that famous shot of Dave Reichert and President Bush is getting a lot of screen-time.

This new commercial is titled, “Pay Raise.” But it might as well be titled: “George Bush has a 28-percent approval rating in the 8th District and Dave Reichert still hangs with him!”

“We’re a three bong family!”

posted by on October 6 at 8:30 AM

From a “very special episode” of The Facts of Life.

Ah, sweet memories of childhood…that return like acid flashbacks.

Thanks, Defamer!

The Morning News

posted by on October 6 at 7:00 AM

Today in Mark Foley: Investigation launched, conspiracy theories hatched, more Foley crushes emerge, Republicans fucked.

Just a Friendly Suggestion: British cabinet member Jack Straw suggests that Muslim women in the West might wanna take off the veil, all hell breaks loose.

Another Blow to Gay Marriage: Court in California upholds that state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

The Great Wall of Mexico: That 700-mile long, 1.2 billion dollar fence the Republicans promised to build? Not gonna happen. The money will still be spent, of course, but the wall won’t be built.

John Mark Karr: Didn’t kill JonBenet, and no longer on the hook for child porn charges. The evidence was, uh, misplaced.

High Praise: Study finds pot to be good for brain function.

Welfare Queens: Federal money keeps airlines flying nearly empty planes to tiny towns in good, God-fearing, self-reliant, federal-govmint-hating red states.

Another Reason to Get the Hell Out of North Carolina: Massive chemical fire leads to release of huge chlorine gas cloud, prompting evacuation of town.

Joy Rider: Seattle man steals 136 cars over a six month period. Now’s he looking at ten years in jail.

You Can Get Too Much Pussy: Well, at least in Pierce County.

Did I miss anything important? Let us know.

Hallelujah. Hallefuckinglujah.

posted by on October 6 at 6:00 AM

First Foley, then the news that pot staves of Alzheimer’s, and now this! Praise the fucking Lord! From this morning’s New York Times:

Evangelicals Fear the Loss of Their Teenagers

Despite their packed megachurches, their political clout and their increasing visibility on the national stage, evangelical Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves….

Their alarm has been stoked by a highly suspect claim that if current trends continue, only 4 percent of teenagers will be “Bible-believing Christiansā€¯ as adults…. While some critics say the statistics are greatly exaggerated (one evangelical magazine for youth ministers dubbed it “the 4 percent panic attackā€¯), there is widespread consensus among evangelical leaders that they risk losing their teenagers.

“I’m looking at the data,ā€¯ said Ron Luce, who organized the meetings and founded Teen Mania, a 20-year-old youth ministry, “and we’ve become post-Christian America, like post-Christian Europe. We’ve been working as hard as we know how to work—everyone in youth ministry is working hard—but we’re losing.ā€¯

The board of the National Association of Evangelicals, an umbrella group representing 60 denominations and dozens of ministries, passed a resolution this year deploring “the epidemic of young people leaving the evangelical church.ā€¯

Genuine alarm can be heard from Christian teenagers and youth pastors, who say they cannot compete against a pervasive culture of cynicism about religion, and the casual “hooking upā€¯ approach to sex so pervasive on MTV, on Web sites for teenagers and in hip-hop, rap and rock music. Divorced parents and dysfunctional families also lead some teenagers to avoid church entirely or to drift away.

Over and over in interviews, evangelical teenagers said they felt like a tiny, beleaguered minority in their schools and neighborhoods. They said they often felt alone in their struggles to live by their “Biblical valuesā€¯ by avoiding casual sex, risquĆ© music and videos, Internet pornography, alcohol and drugs.

When Eric Soto, 18, transferred from a small charter school to a large public high school in Chicago, he said he was disappointed to find that an extracurricular Bible study attracted only five to eight students. “When we brought food, we thought we could get a better turnout,ā€¯ he said. They got 12.

Hmm… No music, no booze, no hooking up, no porn—gee, can’t see why that platform would drive off teenagers.

We keep hearing that the fuckwits that go to megachurches—and I mean you, too, Mars Hill fuckwits—are outbreeding us. But, gee, it looks like their kids aren’t necessarily going to grow up to vote and pray and pray and pray like dear ol’ mom and dad. Thank God for that. Thank fucking God!

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Let The Good Times Roll

posted by on October 5 at 9:26 PM

First Foley and now this.

New Time Poll

posted by on October 5 at 5:44 PM

This headline lifts my spirits…

TIME Poll: The Foley Sex Scandal Has Hurt G.O.P. Election Prospects

The body of the story lifts ‘em even more…

Two-thirds of Americans aware of the congressional-page sex scandal believe Republican leaders tried to cover it up—and one quarter of them say the affair makes them less likely to vote for G.O.P. candidates in their districts come November…. The poll suggests the Foley affair may have dented Republican hopes of retaining control of Congress in November. Among the registered voters who were polled, 54% said they would be more likely to vote for the Democratic candidate for Congress, compared with 39% who favored the Republican. That margin may be fueled by the rolling scandal over sexually explicit e-mails sent to teenage pages by Republican Representative Mark Foley. Almost 80% of respondents were aware of the scandal, and only 16% approve of the Republicans’ handling of it.

Republicans have been trying their damndest to turn this into a debate about gay people—and, you know, the way we are. So obsessed with teenage flesh, unlike straight guys who can pretty much take or leave 16-19 year-old girls and young women.


On the topic of clouds and love letters

posted by on October 5 at 5:00 PM

I love clouds.
And so this article, which led me to this website for the cloud appreciation society, is incredibly satisfying. Here is my favorite cloud of the bunch, June’s Moby Dick sexy pinup:
moby dick cloud.jpg

Which brings me to the subject of love letters. I’m speaking of old-fashioned romantic love letters. I’ve never received a love letter, and I’ve only written one in my life. It was to my first serious boyfriend in college. I was living in France at the time and missed him terribly. The letter contained the line “If you fuck Anita* (*not her real name), I will rip out your tongue with a shrimp fork. Happy Valentine’s Day!ā€¯ Obviously, I suck at writing love letters. It was never sent because he fucked Anita before I got the chance.

It is extremely difficult, not to mention risky, to pen a successful love letter. Writing about love is an easy to slip into melodrama or clichĆ© (e.g., “Our love is a fairy tale love the size of infinityā€¯), and if the object of love rejects (or worse, ignores) the sender’s sentiment, the letter instantly becomes a token of failure and humiliation. The duality of the love letter is one of its draws. Another is the implicit privacy that surrounds it. In general, people don’t pen love letters to have them disseminated in the public. They are written for the satisfaction of the sender and the enjoyment of the receiver. Reading another person’s love letter, even with the consent of the author or object, is like voyeurism; a peek into someone else’s private and vulnerable insides.

Well-written love letters are touching. Poorly written ones are cringy and hilarious.

Which brings me to this website, created by a female who decided to write 300 love letters to family, friends, crushes, “dream loversā€¯, strangers, idols, roommates, etc. She was shooting for all types of love, which made her goal more interesting to read, but more convoluted.

By the end of this project I wanted to be able to write a love letter to anyone, a stranger on the street, or someone I have nothing but scorn for. I wanted to be able to pull out and vocalize the small thread connecting me to them, them to me, the something in them that I found beautiful or real…

The letters are organized on her website chronologically, and color coded by recipient (“pink/red = lovers, brown = people I don’t really like, gray = anyoneā€¯). Here’s an example of a brown love letter:

I know next to nothing about you. Only that you are broken hearted and that they almost cut off your arm and that there is some kind of nice electricity. It’s still too early to know if it’s just the electricity of I think you’re cute, you think I’m cute, or maybe something else…hmm…you are so full of possibility right now!

The draw of love letters is that they aren’t something you are forced to write, they’re something you are compelled to write. Can someone train his/herself to locate love, and write about love, in strangers and “people [you] don’t really like?ā€¯ From her comments and letters I got the feeling that rather than expressing all types of love in letter form, the author was dwelling on/attempting to bait romantic love. Either way, it’s an interesting site if you like love letters, real or faux.

Dueling Attack-Ads in the 8th District

posted by on October 5 at 4:05 PM

Today the National Republican Congressional Committee launched this anti-Darcy Burner ad:

While the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committe launched this anti-Dave Reichert ad:

UPDATE: The Burner campaign is promising to resopnd rapidly to Republican attacks, and has posted this “Truth Watch” page on the Burner web site, along with this reponse to today’s NRCC commercial.

I Can’t Believe It

posted by on October 5 at 4:02 PM

No one has posted about the Project Runway reunion last night, where Keith tried to suggest that the pattern books were PLANTED by Project Runway producers?

We also got to see just how fucking crazy Vincent is. Extra footage showed how he, for many minutes, screamed at a poor Danzig shirt-sporting producer (who looked kinda hot) because his $125 shirts were cleaned. So uncomfortable to watch, but so hilarious too.

And Michael has braces now. He’s so gonna win.

Jesus Camp: An Interview with the Filmmakers

posted by on October 5 at 3:52 PM

You’ve seen the preview and YouTube shock footage, you’ve read Annie Wagner’s review in the new Stranger, now here’s your chance to read my exclusive, web-only interview with Jesus Camp creators Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady.

Arts in America

posted by on October 5 at 3:43 PM

1. Artwalk, tonight.

(Todd Simeone, Air Supply, at SOIL)

(Geoffrey Chadsey, Jam, at James Harris Gallery)

(Whiting Tennis, Mystic, at Greg Kucera Gallery)

2. The photographer Stephen Shore talking about his new iBook series (this is a guy who started out making grids of “snapshots,” Warholesque, in the 1960s, whose retrospective opens today at the Henry), 7 pm, at the Henry. If things get slow, ask him about Flickr versus eBay photographs; he has great things to say. This from the show:


3. And then there was only silent lucidity. The Stranger Suggests:

QuiltsrĆæche (QUILT SHOW) At the opening of Boo Davis’s show of “evil heavy-metal quilts,” DJs Skull & Bones will spin death metal. It’s sew or die: Thrash till the death, feeling the force deep inside. Violence and pain on the power of metal we thrive. Aural assault pounding your ears till they bleed. Unholy sound thrashes till death is our breed. (Poetry courtesy of Onslaught.) (All City Coffee, 125 Prefontaine Pl S, 652-8331. 6-10 pm, free.) JEN GRAVES

Puppies Love Prisoners

posted by on October 5 at 3:20 PM

Prisoners rehabilitate death-row dogs

Since August 2004, the Safe Harbor Prison Dog Program has brought animals destined for doggie death row at area shelters to inmates like McMullin for training as pets.

On any given day, about 50 dogs are being trained by some 100 inmates at the combined medium- and maximum-security prison. They frolic in a penned area in the shadow of guard towers and high fences, or splash in a plastic wading pool. Because they can be trained quicker as pets than as service animals, they’re ready for adoption in just a couple of weeks.

Awe! The prisoners save the puppies. That’s cute.

(Thanks to the lovely Miss Alissa for passing it along.)

New Jokes from New York City

posted by on October 5 at 2:20 PM

The new John Cameron Mitchell movie Shortbus — which opens the 2006 Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival (Oct 13-22) — had a screening last night in New York City, and afterward there was a party for the cast and crew at the Cock. The Cock is a bar for gaysexuals. Its previous incarnation, on Avenue A, was storied, and the new location is pretty damn sleazy too. Its basement room is not unlike something you’d see in Shortbus, minus women. People having sex. A DJ in the corner.

John Cameron Mitchell got up and said he’d just been touring the country to promote the movie. “I just got back from D.C.,” he said. “Had drinks with Mark Foley.” Then, as the laughter died down: “Fuck him.” (Everyone in D.C. kept asking Mitchell about Foley — “as if he has anything to do with the movie or any of us.”)

Some of the actors in the movie performed songs and others got up and told jokes. In the very, very crowded bar, while holding a drink, I managed to jot down three. The rest are lost to time.

Why don’t congressmen use bookmarks?
Because they like to bend over their pages.
Why are Jewish men circumsized?
Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it’s 20% off.
Why did Jesus die on the cross?
Because he forgot his safe word.

Hastert Stays (For Now)

posted by on October 5 at 2:00 PM

Meanwhile, a Republican internal poll predicts that with Hastert still in power the GOP could lose up to 50 seats in November.

(Via Sullivan)

Suggestion Box

posted by on October 5 at 1:48 PM

Dear Stranger: A few weeks back, I was reading the story about the student/baker who floured the “LaRouchies” to my formerly long-haired friend, Patrick, who is new to Seattle. He inquired as to who the “LaRouchies” are, and after an explanation, said, “Oh, yeah, I’ve been harassed by them.” Then he suggested that your publication should probably not refer to them as “LaRouchies,” but instead as “LaRouche Bags.” I hope you will take this stroke of genious into consideration.—Christy

It’s a wonderful suggestion, Christy, one I will forward to the copy editors and the kids in the news department.

Arrests at World Can’t Wait Protest

posted by on October 5 at 1:45 PM

The much-flyered World Can’t Wait: Drive out the Bush Regime! protest is occurring right across the street from the Stranger’s offices today in Cal Anderson Park and I expected it to be all bongo players and homemade floats resembling… caterpillars of peace? Moths of mercy? Backbones of America? Which was indeed the truth as the protest march passed our office:

As soon as the march reached the park, which is one block away from a Seattle Police precinct office, things took a tumultuous turn: police officers on bikes, in cars, on foot showed up in abundance and plunged into the hostile crowd of Zapatista-handkerchiefed kids to arrest two protesters. A mob quickly surrounded the police, shouting “Shame! Shame!ā€¯ and “Peace! No Seattle racist police!ā€¯ (although both the kids arrested and three of the four arresting police were white) and shoving cameras in the faces of the officers, demanding their names and the charges.



It’s unclear what the two were handcuffed for — two other protesters said flags were not allowed at the event and the arrested kids were waving an anarchist flag. None of the police I asked knew, either, but formed a line along the side of the park, keeping protesters from reaching the police cars sealing off the block of 11th.

This woman who, ironically, was not arrested told the numerous awaiting camermen that rushed to the scene that,“The police arrested two guys and were pushing people into trees.ā€¯ She lifted up her left arm, rather distraught and shaking slightly, to reveal some minor scrapes.


An ambulance just arrived on 11th, but hasn’t loaded anyone in as of yet. Maybe it’s there to treat the tree wounds?

If anyone wants to commit a crime on Capitol Hill, now’s the time to do it — approximately every police officer is monitoring the protest, which is still occuring with megaphones, sign-rattling and the expected chanting.

UPDATE: The police currently “cannot divulge” any information about the arrests, except that the protestors are being held at the east precinct and will soon be moved to King County Jail. When I get the police report, I’ll post something more accurate about their arrest than unsubstantiated rumors of anarchist flags.

Stuffed Animals and Cigarettes

posted by on October 5 at 1:36 PM

The first words you see on the website for Berlin-based dance group Dorky Park: “Memory is Fragile; Garbage Lasts Forever.ā€¯ That is an artistic statement, mind you, not an ecological one.

They are performing this weekend at On the Boards (this year’s winner of the Genius Award for organization). I am super-excited.

The company, led by Constanza Macras, has 18 “dorks” from France, Argentina, Peru, Israel, Australia, Iceland, and Iowa. The show—Back to the Present is about loss and the corrosion of memory, but its aesthetic is a frenetic, brazen orgy of of experimental dance, pop, and trash: Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” smashed against a karaoke “Shot Through the Heart”; toy cows and eagles smoking cigarettes; an acrobatic beat-down; a woman in a red dress and heels falling, spinning, and undulating like a graceful spastic; another woman in her underwear, on the edge of a roof, crying, looking like she’s going to jump, suddenly hit by a barrage of stuffed animals.

There is cacophony . People at a wild party die with pasta shooting out their mouths.

There is jumping.


And flying.


And sexiness.

Constanza Macras dorkypark.JPG

And excess of all kinds. It’s gonna be awesome.

I was speaking recently to OtB artistic director Lane Czaplinski about an unrelated matter. He tried to articulate a sentence including the words “projectā€¯ and “projectorā€¯ and “wall.ā€¯ He stumbled over all three. “I’m sorry, I’ve been hanging out with Constanza Macras this afternoon and I can’t speak English anymore.ā€¯

Even the distinguished Mr. Czaplinski, an artistic director highly trained in both English and Resistance to Artist Befuddlement Rays, was undone by the weird power of this international dance conspiracy.

May Dorky Park undo us all.

Foley, Foley, Foley

posted by on October 5 at 1:18 PM


Dennis “I Saw Nothing!” Hastert held a press conference today.

Americablog and Kos and Sullivan pick it apart.


Ballard Sidewalk Stencil

posted by on October 5 at 12:43 PM

I spotted this while walking around Ballard last night. It was spray painted on the sidewalk behind Majestic Bay and Cupcake Royale. There were a few of them.


Is this a band? A crew? An anti-homosexuality statement?


The Rosie O’Donnell Sex Scene You’ve Been Waiting For!

posted by on October 5 at 12:00 PM

The View co-host—and LESBIAN, don’tchaknow—ROSIE O’DONNELL just made a guest appearance on the hit FX show Nip/Tuck, in which she pays hot plastic surgeon Christian to make boom-boom with her! WANT TO SEE IT? Of course you don’t… BUT YOU WILL. Because deep, deep down inside you are a filthy person who loves punishment. (Besides, it’s kinda funny.)

Thanks for ruining me forever, Defamer!

Scissor Sisters at the Showbox

posted by on October 5 at 11:45 AM

I have a bias when it comes to the Scissor Sisters—hey, that’s my little boy up there mooning the crowd—so I can’t really review the show. Or shows, I should say, as I was at both the Monday and Tuesday night performances.

So take it away, MetroBlogging Seattle

Jake Shears arrived wearing a skin-tight, near-holographic, ruby sequined tuxedo. From the moment he strutted onto the stage, the crowd was in the palm of his hand. The band played a mix of songs from their self-titled debut and the just-released / leaked-a-while-ago Ta-Dah, gradually working the showgoers from fevered anticipation to borderline dance party.

Despite the glam presentation, the impromptu kicklines, the refusal to accept tiaras thrown from the crowd, and the way Jake occasionally yet inadvertently channels Elton John, the band knows its way around rock and funk conventions. They dedicate “Laura” to the First Lady, compliment the northwest fashion in the audience, and call upon the audience to dance like nobody’s looking at them (“the future of human kind is wearing our souls on the outside”). This, combined with unleashing “Comfortably Numb” tips the audience into jubilant mayhem…. By the time they’re playing “Land of a Thousand Words”, Jake’s shirt is long gone and he’s on his back doing bicycle execercises in front of the drum kit. The floor is bouncing like a trampoline, and everyone’s really really happy, dancing with friends and strangers.

And what did Seattlest think of the show?

Tuesday night’s Scissor Sisters show was an absolutely incredible sight to behold. The Showbox didn’t feel like part of Seattle at all, transformed into den of debauchery, glamorous but with slightly sleazy undertone. The sort of place to feature both marble floors and gloryholes. It was the holistic experience that most shows strive to be, with a charismatic headliner, amazing sound, and a crowd as flamboyant and energetic as the performers on stage….

Onstage, Scissor Sisters dandied and fopped around the stage, with Jake Shears bounding this way and that in an shimmering vinyl ensemble, looking straight out of either the Studio 54 heyday or the NYC club kids scene. Ana Matronic was equally vibrant in a flowing gown, occasionally pointing out the dance and fashion successes she observed from the stage. The rest of the band was a bit more subdued, but that is definitely a relative statement.

It took a song or two for the crowd to get warmed up, but “Tits on the Radio” turned up the show’s energy, which set the tone for the night. They had the crowd in the palm of their hands after that, using songs as knobs to control the room’s energy level and ensure it didn’t peak too early. That was hardly a concern however, as they closed out the show on the highest of notes, with an encore featuring a costume change, a vagina-decorated birthday cake for Jake, and crowdpleasers “I Don’t Feel Like Dancing” and “Filthy/Gorgeous.” They earned every bit of applause they received, and considering the energy in the room and the glances being exchanged around the room, we’re sure they were thanked later as people “came together” with their new friends.

The Gift That Keeps Giving

posted by on October 5 at 11:28 AM

The latest Foley revelation, via Pandagon :

A senior House Republican has asked the House clerk to look into allegations that then-Rep. Mark Foley was turned away from the congressional page dorm on Capitol Hill after arriving there intoxicated one night.

Lawmakers have been talking about the alleged incident since Friday, when Foley resigned amid reports he sent sexually explicit Intenet e-mails to a House page.

Meanwhile, as a new poll shows that voters believe Democrats would be better at combating corruption than Republicans, ex-House speaker Gingrich tries to deflect attention from the Foley scandal by claiming Democratic sex scandals have been far worse than Foley’s sexy messages to teenage Congressional pages. Meanwhile, religious-right spokesman Pat Robertson advises Congressional Republicans up for reelection to tell voters, “well, this man’s gay; he does what gay people do and so don’t worry about it.ā€¯

God, I can’t wait for November.

The Saga Continues

posted by on October 5 at 10:57 AM

I thought the whole Dave Reichert global warming fiasco was over, but the P-I notes it today in its election-year profile of Reichert and Goldy keeps it going with a suggestion that Reichert’s people may have violated ethics rules in trying to clarify the Congressman’s position on global warming.

Dealing with Terrorists

posted by on October 5 at 10:49 AM

From the Hastert quotes featured in this Baltimore Sun story to the Cheney quotes features in this DC Examiner story to this damn cartoon, it’s been a fucking galling morning.

And so it is with a sense of exhausted resignation that I report the allegations that FOX News persuaded the psychotic Westboro Baptist Church to forgo its planned picketing of the slain Amish girls’ funerals in exchange for an hour of airtime.

Who knows what kind of arrangement was struck or not struck, but last night’s Hannity & Colmes featured an extensive interview with a prime Westboro loonie. A partial transcript of the interview—including the Westboro loonie’s explanation of why God allowed those Amish girls to be butchered—can be found here.

Mark Foley: “Giving Alcohol a Bad Name”

posted by on October 5 at 9:59 AM

Check out this funny clip of comedian WANDA SYKES on the Tonight Show talking about the Mark Foley sex scandal—and making a very good case for Foley “giving alcohol a bad name.”

Tip o’ the hat to Jack & Jill Politics!

Political Cartoon of the Day

posted by on October 5 at 9:55 AM

Via Gawker


Says Gawker…

Post “cartoonist” Sean Delonas raises his game today with the masterpiece you see here. We’re not sure which hand-drawn gay stereotype is our favorite: there are so many to choose from! Village People reference? Check! Umbrella drink? Check! Limp wrists? Check! AIDS ribbon? Check! Light loafers? You’d better believe it! He even gets a hamster in there (note the cage behind McGreevey)! Still, even with this cornucopia of homophobia, we’re going to have to give the nod to what’s going on in the bedroom, where a teddy bear holds what appears to be a big black dildo. You’ve got to hand it to Sean; he knows it’s an accumulation of small details that really brings the bigotry to life.

They’ve got jokes

posted by on October 5 at 9:21 AM

A fan of hilarity, I like to keep my eye on where and when the funny jokes are happening in this town. And tonight at Central Cinema (purveyor of beer and pizza, 1411 21st Ave), there’s a new-timey comedy cabaret (comedy, video, variety acts, audience participation) called “A Time for Fun.” Hosts Dartanion London and Hari Kondabolu describe the show as “bizarre,” “friggin’ weird,” “incisive,” and “absurdist.” Apparently, “punishments will be doled out.” I don’t know what that means, but I’m certainly not going to not find out.

Doors at 6, show at 7. $5.

Let local comedy nurse at your teat of chuckles. Wait, gross.

Alternate Universe Watch

posted by on October 5 at 9:12 AM

Can you guess who said these things in a speech yesterday?

There’s something special about marriage. It’s not about religion. It’s not about morality. It’s about commitment…. Pledging yourself to another means doing something brave and important. You are making a commitment. You are publicly saying: it’s not just about me, me me anymore. It is about we—together, the two of us, through thick and thin. That really matters.

And by the way, it means something whether you’re a man and a woman, a woman and a woman or a man and another man.

Can you guess? I’ll give you another hint: It was the same guy who said this…

There is a price for progress in tackling climate change. Yes of course low-energy lightbulbs, hybrid cars - even a windmill on your roof…can make a difference and also save money.

But these things are not enough. Government must show leadership by setting the right framework. Binding targets for carbon reduction, year on year. That would create a price for carbon in our economy.

What does that mean?

It means that things which produce more carbon will get more expensive. Going green is not some fashionable, pain-free option. It will place a responsibility on business. It will place a responsibility on all of us.

So who said those things? Al Gore? Barak Obama? Nancy Pelosi? No, no, and no. It was the new leader of the British conservatives. You can read his entire speech—and fantasize about one day having a similar conservative leader right here in the United States—by clicking here.

Via Sullivan.

Letter of the Day

posted by on October 5 at 9:03 AM

Buju Baton expressed the importance of freedom of speech [at his show in Seattle]? Someone is the audience should have yelled “nigger!” really loud and seen how long Buju and his fans practiced what they preached. Better yet, he should have let a representative of the KKK be the opening act, now that would have been tolerance!—Anonymous

The Morning News

posted by on October 5 at 8:34 AM

Can We Turn The Page? Uh, no. Mark Foley mess keeps getting worse/better. House leadership warned more than once about Foley’s thing for young pages—in 2003. Denise “Wrestling Coach” Hastert hangs in there. Superstar gay journalist Rex Wockner outed Foley—as a gay man, not a teen page fan—back in 1996.

Surprise! Another Bush administration official makes yet another surprise visit to Iraq. These stunts aren’t news anymore, people. The day a Bush administration official makes an announced visit to Iraq? That will be news. Until then, let’s please stop falling for this “surprise visit!” crapola.

Spying Indictments Handed Down: Finally! Someone gets indicted for spying on US citizens. Sadly it’s not the President of the United States.

Crackheads: Ruining those expensive high-tech public toilets for all of us. Not even the homeless will use the things.

Time to Declare Victory: Big pot bust in California. DEA declares victory in drug war, shuts down.

Every Child Needs a Mother and Father: Woman kills her two young daughters during custody dispute with estranged husband.

Who’s Going to Break It to Josh? That lone white guy on the medal stand at the Olympics in Mexico City in 1968? Up there with the two black guys who raised their clenched fists—the black power salute—in a sign of defiance? He’s dead.


Savage vs. Santorum: Me and my potty mouth are going all the way to Philadelphia next week to help raise money to beat Sen. Rick “Frothy Mix” Santorum. Liz Spikol at the Philadelphia Weekly hands me the mic, and I use the “f” word about ten thousand times.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Mark Foley Loves Young People

posted by on October 4 at 3:36 PM

As these pictures, which used to be on his web site but have since been deleted, attest:


Via, as ever, Shakespeare’s Sister.

What Reichert Said on Global Warming, and When He Said It

posted by on October 4 at 2:20 PM

This long post comes to you courtesy of the Dave Reichert re-election campaign, which requested a follow-up to my post from yesterday about Reichert’s views on global warming.

I don’t think this post is going to reach the conclusion that the Reichert people hope it will reach. But I do think it will show that there’s a certain political problem that’s freaking Reichert’s campaign out.

Here’s the political problem: On Sept. 27, Seattle Times reporter Jonathan Martin published this story, in which Martin told his readers that Reichert doubts the existence of global warming.

That’s an extreme position for a Republican Congressman in a tight re-election race to be taking—especially when the race is taking place in Washington’s environmentally-conscious 8th District.

Reichert’s campaign is well aware of the environmental concerns in the 8th, which is why it’s spent the last few days pushing back so hard against the Times article (and a similar article in Monday’s P-I).

“This district is very environmentally savvy and this is an issue obviously at the forefront of most people’s minds,” said Reichert campaign spokeswoman Kimberly Cadena, during an interview this morning that she requested to set the record straight.

Cadena asked for the interview so she could tell me that the Times article doesn’t say what it actually says, and that Reichert didn’t actually say what Martin reported him as saying. But before we get to this amazing example of reality-bending push-back, a quick foundation for understanding this whole situation.

There are two important questions at play here. One: Does global warming exist? And two: If it exists, what’s causing it?

Not even President Bush disputes that global warming is happening. In fact, that point has largely been conceded by global warming skeptics, especially since Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. The question for the skeptics has now become why global warming is happening — Is it caused by humans (as the consensus scientific view holds) or is it caused by natural global temperature fluctuations?

It’s a somewhat interesting question. But there was Reichert in the Sept. 27 Times sounding like an old-school global warming denier, ignoring the current “debate” and telling Martin that he wasn’t convinced global warming was even happening. (For regular Slog readers, I’m sorry to now post this same quote yet again, but it’s necessary for what comes next.)

Reichert’s questions about the existence of global warming are contrary to positions taken by the U.S. Senate, Goldman Sachs, the insurance giant Swiss Re, the National Academy of Scientists and the 100-nation Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change…

Reichert said global warming is a “possibility” but views the science with the same sense of skepticism he held as a homicide detective for the King County Sheriff’s Office.

“I will be convinced when I’m convinced,” he said. “As an investigator, I’ve not been conclusively convinced.”

Here’s what Cadena, Reichert’s spokeswoman, told me this morning:

Reichert has never questioned the existence of global warming.

Huh? I asked her if Jonathan Martin’s article was incorrect.

I don’t think that Jonathan’s article is incorrect at all. I think that you’re reading something into it that’s not there.

What? But didn’t Reichert tell Martin that he was “going to wait until all the facts are in” before he decides on whether global warming is happening? Didn’t he compare scientists who believe in global warming to people who once thought the earth was flat?

“The Congressman has been clear throughout all of his conversations with reporters on global warming,” Cadena told me, continuing:

He continues to investigate the cause of global warming. Global warming exists. That’s the reality.

I asked Jonathan Martin about his take on the reality of his interview with Reichert, and I’ll get to what Martin told me in a moment. But first, because I’m writing this post and I can’t resist, here’s reality, according to me:

Reichert said one thing to the Times on Sept. 27, another thing to the P-I on Monday, and yet another thing in a statement he released on Monday blaming the media for misrepresenting his views. (A confusing blame-game, by the way, given that Cadena now says the Martin article is correct.)

But enough about me. Here’s what Jonathan Martin of the Seattle Times had to say this morning about all of this:

I was intending to provide a real balanced look at what Reichert’s environmental record was. There’s certainly elements of his environmental record that appeal to the environmenatlist crowds. But in trying to be balanced, I also felt I needed to point out the Congressman’s questions on something that’s a real cornerstone of the environmentalist agenda…

Martin is referring here to the global warming issue, and he told me he was very careful to ask Reichert two separate questions: Does Reichert believe global warming exists? And if so, what does Reichert believe is causing it? Martin continues:

I tried to be as clear as possible in asking the question in a two-part way. It’s possible he may have misunderstood the essence of my questions, but I went back on the issue with him at least twice during our interview. His position on global warming was crystal clear to me. He just hadn’t been convinced of its existence. I think that’s what the article says.

And just to be clear for Cadena, who suggested to me that I was misreading Martin’s story, here’s what Martin said about his intended meaning:

I was intending to convey to readers that Dave Reichert’s position, at the time that I talked to him, was that the jury was still out on both of those questions. He said the existence of global warming, and humans’ role in it, was a possibility, but that he hadn’t seen conclusive evidence to satisfy him on either of the questions.

I don’t have a huge desire to keep posting on this issue, but I do want the facts to be clear, even if they’re inconvenient for Reichert’s re-election campaign: Reichert’s position on global warming has not been consistent. It has evolved over the last week, from one of skepticism about the existence of global warming to one of skepticism about the causes of global warming.

That may be an uncomfortable evolution for a Congressman in the 8th District to go through just a few weeks before the November elections, but that’s the reality.

I Wish I’d Seen The Call For Volunteers For This One

posted by on October 4 at 1:55 PM

From a new study about the amount of time it takes for women to become sexually aroused: “Dr. Binik focused thermographic cameras on his subjects’ genitals while they watched a montage of material from pornography to horror movies to The Best of Mr. Bean to Canadian tourism travelogues to provide a base of control data.”
Mr. Bean? Hot!

Moulin Huge; or, Falling is Funny

posted by on October 4 at 12:55 PM


Cheers to Jean-Paul Gaultier, for featuring this full-figured-and-then-some model in his 30th anniversary show yesterday during Paris’ fashion week. (Daily Mail report here.)

Cheers as well to the models featured on this video, who prove that non-injurious falling remains the funniest thing a human can do. (Be sure to stay tuned through the end of the second model’s amazing second fall.)

Jeers to Republican buttboy slimeball Matt Drudge, on whose blog these items were found.

Federalist Society on Andersen v. King County

posted by on October 4 at 12:20 PM

Monday night I went to a forum on Andersen v. King County (the recent infuriating gay marriage decision) sponsored by the conservative Federalist Society. It was $25 bucks a head, and it attracted only about 30 people, among them a schmoozing Stephen Johnson, who voted for DOMA (twice!) in the state legislature and has made it through the primary to challenge Supreme Court Justice Susan Owens in the upcoming general election.

Despite the political context, the panel was stacked in favor of gay marriage the tone of the panel was skewed in favor of gay marriage (as a historical inevitability if not a constitutionally protected right): Bradley Bagshaw, a lawyer for the plaintiffs, and (implicitly) moderator David Postman were both was obviously miffed at the result in Andersen; Dale Carpenter, a (very smart) University of Minnesota Law School professor and contributor to the legal blog Volokh Conspiracy, endorsed the legal reasoning in Andersen but, as a personal matter, made it clear that he strongly supports gay marriage. Moderator David Postman asked more skeptical questions of the plurality opinion than of the dissent (which is to be expected, given that the plurality is now the law of the land). That left only Steven O’Ban to defend both DOMA and the Andersen decision. Oh, and the gentleman in the audience who quoted Senator Santorum (sorry Dan, not by name) in his argument that permitting gay marriage would lead to the legalization of polygamy, bestiality, etc.

It’s too bad that liberal groups in this city haven’t taken the time to put together a panel that attempts to explain the plurality opinion to the public and to explore the places where its reasoning was strong or hazy. I was surprised to learn, for example, that the 3-part suspect class determination used by our Supremes is not in fact an established test (as pointed out by several commentators on our Slog), and that possibly the plurality overstepped their bounds in requiring that gays and lesbians meet all three requirements (to recap, that’s minority group with a history of oppression, obvious and immutable trait, and political powerlessness). Of course, precedent is heavily against giving gays and lesbians the heightened protections of suspect class—but the law is a slow-moving beast.

Luckily, the proceedings were taped by TVW, and will be broadcast tonight at 7 pm and several times tomorrow. I highly recommend it.


Strikeouts and italics are changes made to conform with David Postman’s comments below (Wed 3:37 pm).

Zombies Wanted

posted by on October 4 at 12:15 PM


Calling all dancing zombies: Circus Contraption wants you.

The time has come again for the Circus Contaption Halloween Blowout Extravaganza Spectacular Throwdown, which is exactly what it says it is. At the center of the blowout extravaganza spectacular throwdown: a massive, live-action, all-zombie reenactment of the climactic dance-of-the-dead from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video.

Best of all, Circus Contraption’s is an equal-opportunity zombie dance troupe, and any and all interested zombie parties can get in on the act (plus info on rehearsals) by emailing

The party/performance goes down on Friday Oct 27 at the Showbox, and will feature performances by Circus Contraption, escape artist Scotty Walsh, and the 12-piece Balkan brass band Orkestar Zirkonium. Plus, the rendition of “Thriller” to which the zombies will be dancing will be performed by Portland’s 35-member March Fourth Marching Band.

That email again:

“Who Are These Children?”

posted by on October 4 at 12:12 PM

NRCC head Tom Reynolds surrounds himself with kids to prevent reporters from asking tough questions about the Mark Foley scandal:

Reporter: Congressman, do you mind asking the children to leave the room so we can have a frank discussion of this, because it’s an adult topic. It just doesn’t seem appropriate to me.

Reynolds: I’ll take your questions, but I’m not going to ask any of my supporters to leave. […]

Reporter: Who are the children, Congressman? Who are these children?

Reynolds: Pardon me?

Reporter: Who are these children?

Reynolds: Well, a number of them are from the community. There are several of the “thirtysomething” set that are here and uh I’ve known them and I’ve known their children as they were born.

Reporter: Do you think it’s appropriate for them to be listening to the subject matter though?

Reynolds: Sir, I’ll be happy to answer your questions, I’m still, uh…

Via Pam Spaulding.

Arts In America

posted by on October 4 at 12:10 PM

1) “No studio director was a greater hero to the Hong Kong new wave than Martin Scorsese. John Woo dedicated The Killer to him; Wong Kar-wai modeled his first feature, As Tears Go By, after Mean Streets; Taxi Driver’s rain-slicked slo-mo urban stylistics worked their way into countless lesser HK films.”

2) “With neighboring emirate Dubai gaining global attention for luxury tourism and eye-catching architecture, Abu Dhabi, the capital of the United Arab Emirates, is looking to use culture to engage travelers’ imaginations. As part of that effort, officials are seeking to recreate the “Bilbao Effectā€¯ very, very exactingly: The emirate has signed separate deals with the Guggenheim Foundation and Frank Gehry to build a new branch of the museum of the architect’s design.” (Isn’t Gehry Jewish?)

3) “Welcome to the Homeland: A Journey to the Rural Heart of America’s Conservative Revolution. This is an insightful look at a part of the country that city- and suburb-dwellers do not see or understand enough.”

4) “The eight-year-old firm is designing four projects in China after winning a Home of the Year award for their Madrona Residence.”

5) “Burial’s London is a wounded city, populated by ectsasy casualties on day release from psychiatric units, disappointed lovers on night buses, parents who can’t quite bring themselves to sell their rave 12 inches at a carboot sale, all of them with haunted looks on their faces, but also haunting their interpassively nihilist kids with the thought that things weren’t always like this.”


TV on the Radio

(MUSIC) It’s a beautiful thing when a band as experimental and progressive as Brooklyn-based TV on the Radio makes the jump to a major label unscathed. Return to Cookie Mountain (Interscope) is an ethereal, intelligent album that seamlessly blends exploratory electronica, hiphop, soaring rock, guttural soul, and the occasional flourish of doo-wap. As stunning as the record is, their live performance is even more awe inspiring. With Grizzly Bear. (Showbox, 1426 First Ave, 8 pm, $16 adv/$18 DOS, all ages.) HANNAH LEVIN

Quick note: Those who are kidding themselves are those who think a piece of criticism is poor or invalid because it has in its attack ad hominem weapons. A critique of any work must strive to be total, nothing should be left out—the economic situation, class position, diet, sexual habits, the amount of hairs in a nostril. There is no thing-in-itself, some eternal pure truth that needs to be left alone (the secret motive of those who want to stop at just the work, the wall of the work, and leave its creator out of it). The whole art object and the world that brought it into existence must be, to quote KRS-One, “broken down to the very last compound.”

It’s Olsen Twins Wednesday!

posted by on October 4 at 11:54 AM

WHAT?? It’s Wednesday already? OH, SHIT! That must mean the Olsen Twins are here—and with another creepy video! Today’s installment of Olsen Twins Wednesday is a little extra creepy, because the girls are singing a song about how Santa is a lot like a stalker, or maybe your overly possessive and sexually abusive dad—AND HE’LL ALWAYS FIND YOU. NO MATTER WHERE YOU HIDE.
WAHH!! Santa’s scary!

Sexiest Car in the Universe

posted by on October 4 at 11:28 AM


I hope this vehicle is owned not by a high-rolling frat boy, but an overly ironic indie kid.

(DMB = Dave Matthew’s Band, for those of you fortunate enough not to know)

Jake Shears Got Himself a Little Pussy in Seattle

posted by on October 4 at 10:44 AM

Did you catch the Scissor Sisters’ fucking brilliant performance last night at the Showbox? It was lead singer Jake Shears 28th birthday, and the band presented him with a cake before their final number. Here’s a close-up of the cake for those that weren’t close enough to the stage to get a good look. And, yes, it says “Happy Birthday, Beyonce.”

Best Foley Headline of the Day

posted by on October 4 at 10:15 AM

Comes from Wonkette, who describes the Foley revelations as this election year’s “Cocktober Surprise.”

Something You Should Do Tomorrow Night

posted by on October 4 at 9:52 AM

Three bands at lo_fi: Stolen Babies, “Awesome,” and Degenerate Art Ensemble: 429B Eastlake Ave E, 9pm, $10, 21+.

You can see “Awesome” here.

And hear them here.

DAE looks like this:


And you can hear them here.

Should you wish to, you can see Stolen Babies here.

Joshua Kohl from DAE describes them as: “a circus-inspired punk band. Full costumes and they have strange creepy mascot characters that appear on stage with them.”

You can hear them here.

ORLY? Factor

posted by on October 4 at 9:32 AM

What’s wrong with this picture?

Did you miss it? Replay and pause immediately after it begins.

October surprise indeed! More on FOX News’s labeling Foley a Democrat (THREE [3] separate times!) here. Included is a clearer Windows Media file of a different instance on the same show.

Losing It For Lost

posted by on October 4 at 9:06 AM

For those of you who know exactly where you will be tonight at 9 pm, a little sneak preview (no major spoiler action, unless you count any new footage as a spoiler):

And for the super-dorks among us, the blooper reel from last season:

The Morning News

posted by on October 4 at 8:29 AM

The Foley Follies Continue: He’s a drunk! No, wait—he’s a victim! Oh, and teenage pages were warned to avoid Foley all the way back in 1995. New York Times rips House Republicans over Foley.

Meanwhile In Non-Foley News: US military casualties rising in iraq. Slay the course.

In a Related Development: Bush approval ratings back in the toilet.

Does the President Have a Strategy for Victory? No. But he does have a strategy for victory parties.

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say… to Dick Cheney, well, then it’s best to say nothing at all. Denver man politely tells Cheney that he’s not pleased with the VP’s job performance, and the Secret Service arrests him. (The man, not the VP.) Stick a fork in our democracy. It’s done.

They’re in the Money: Dow hits new highs.

Fucking Priests: This sex scandal hits a little closer to home.

Another Creepy Closet Case: Meet Randy White, another politician with “personal identification issues.” This scandal involves body paint, nude men, stolen pictures—and a Democrat. Enjoy!

Soon He’ll Be Just Another Pretty Face: David Beckham announces his retirement from football

Harry Problem: Wannna stop school shootings? Don’t ban guns. Ban Harry Potter books!

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

GOP Ignored the Real Warning Sign on Foley

posted by on October 3 at 8:30 PM

I don’t know if this has been reported everywhere already (I’ve been swamped and haven’t been devouring the Foley scandal), but I just looked it up and Foley was one of just 27 GOP House members (out of 229) who voted against the Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage last July.

Hastert should have known he had a deviant in his ranks.

Small But Mighty Wandering Mandy Greer

posted by on October 3 at 8:16 PM

Mandy Greer’s great big installation at Bumbershoot, Small But Mighty Wandering Pearl, of an infinitely bleeding stag, was a total traffic-stopper, and I was terribly saddened to think it was only up three days. The good news is — it’s not! It’s opening at CoCA Oct. 14 and running through Nov. 12, in a split bill that also includes a “photographic exploration … of the bride” by Tomiko Jones.

I once asked about why there’s no work out there that references babymaking — Greer’s deer gore, her Victorian viscera, is a great response.

Here’s a glimpse, but it must be seen in all its beaded, crocheted, stitched, knitted, and disgusting gorgeousness to be known.


This Month’s Seattle Met Magazine and a Modest Proposal

posted by on October 3 at 5:34 PM

The ubiquitous Seattle Metropolitan Magazine (I’d link to their web site, but they don’t put articles online) has a cover story this month on “30 ways to be green.” “Save your health and the planet too!” the cover entices.

OK, sold. What do I do? The answer, Seattle Met tells me, lies in “daily chores and minor lifestyle adjustments” that “can yield outsized benefits for their effort and expense.” Then they helpfully rank those “daily chores” (there are 28 of them, by the way, not 30) by expense and effort—from “minor” (park in the shade; filter your own water; properly inflate tires) to “medium” or “moderate” (replace old appliances; turn down the heat; plant a tree) to “major” (join FlexCar; install solar panels; plant a green roof). The underpinning message, of course, is that to be a good environmentalist (or to “green” your life, to use the currently popular term) all you have to do is consume—the products featured along with the 28 suggestions include a $1,300 electric bike and a $15,000 Smart Car. I also note, although it’s perhaps an unfair criticism (every magazine, including the Stranger, sells ads to companies of which some of its writers do not approve—cf. the timeless debate over whether the Stranger is “ruled by Big Tobacco”) that the “green issue” includes ads for the following: cheap, formaldehyde-soaked particle-board shelving; energy-wasting kitchen appliances; massive “luxury estate” houses in Issaquah; any number of similar homes all over the suburbs; and Bellevue Square, where “parking is easy and free.”

The suggestions themselves are perfectly good ones, of course—there’s no reason people shouldn’t park in the shade or “ask yourself how much car and how many cars you really need.” But all this focus on individual effort (and I’m not just picking on Seattle Metropolitan here—any number of other magazines have put out consumerist, individual-behavior-focused “green issues” of their own) obscures what really needs to change. Individual changes won’t accomplish much in the absence of systemic change. Better, greener government policies—policies that could be implemented at the city level, starting right now—would do far more to “green” Seattle than if every single citizen started composting and filtering their water and recycling paper and plastic today.

Here are just a few suggestions that have been implemented successfully elsewhere. Institute a congestion tax. Require every building, not just downtown high-rises, to meet strict green-building standards. Provide incentives for developers to exceed those standards. Tear down freeways; stop building new ones. Ban plastic bags and Styrofoam containers. Require water-saving appliances in all buildings. Mandate recycling, and enforce it with real penalties. Set strict limits on the construction of new parking, and replace minimum residential parking requirements with parking maximums. Commit to a massive, long-term investment in transit; if light rail isn’t feasible everywhere, build grade-separated busways that can never be used by cars. Make buses free. Toll every new road and bridge. Build a real network of bike lanes. Get rid of exclusive single-family zoning. Implement a carbon tax. And so on.

Other ideas?

Angel of Death

posted by on October 3 at 4:15 PM

The face of this nurse was the last face that ten or so patients saw before entering the end of all time.

Vickie Dawn Jackson, 40…was accused of killing the patients, including her third husband’s grandfather, by injecting them with a drug used to stop breathing to allow insertion of a breathing tube. Prosecutor said the deaths occurred during her night shifts at Nocona General Hospital in 2000 and 2001.
Indeed, “la…dame sans merci.”

Well, That Explains—and Excuses—Everything!

posted by on October 3 at 3:35 PM

Foley was molested by priests.

AP News Alert

The attorney for former Rep. Mark Foley says Foley was molested by a member of the clergy as a teenager.

The circle is now complete.

Via Sullivan.

I, Too, Dislike It

posted by on October 3 at 3:28 PM


Flying back on Sunday night from New Jersey where I’d spent the last four days immersed in the 11th biannual Geraldine R. Dodge Poetry Festival I sat on the plane alternately watching the unspeakably abysmal Click (yes, I got a little teary there near the end and I wanted to gouge out my traitor eyes) and thinking about some of the poets I’d seen and heard.

I. Stars as Food

Poetry is the autobiography of the soul that can never rest. — Ko Un

When Korea was occupied by the Japanese, 73-year-old Korean poet Ko Un tells us through is translator, the government confiscated everything. His family grew rice, which was taken from them after the harvest. They were always hungry. Some nights, his mother would make the long walk to the sea where she would collect seaweed to bring back to her children.

One night, Ko Un sat with his grandmother, waiting for his mother to return. It was the first time he remembers seeing a star. There were so many of them and, in the darkness, they seemed so close. Ravenous, he imagined he could eat them and asked his grandmother to pluck one from the sky.

Everything, he says, his ancient hands cutting through the air like knives—everything in this life should be looked at with this kind of desperateness. Look at a flower the way a hungry man looks at food.

He stops. His hands settle in his lap and he looks around the room. I wonder if he knows that however much we try, we cannot fully understand. It seems, though, that some of us are trying. What will we see in the sky tonight?

[More after the break for those who don’t dislike it too much…]

Continue reading "I, Too, Dislike It" »

McGavick is Getting Downright Weird

posted by on October 3 at 3:05 PM

U.S. Senate “candidate” Mike McGavick told Washington CEO magazine that he never worked as a lobbyist.

Not only do the following cites upend McGavick’s odd claim,

“Michael S. McGavick, the (American Insurance Association)’s top in-house lobbyist on the Superfundā€¯ [National Journal, 10/10/94]
“An insurance industry lobbyist, Mike McGavick of the American Insurance Associationā€¯ [The Insurance Regulator, 7/25/94]
“Mike McGavick, lobbyist for the American Insurance Assnā€¯ [Business Week, 2/14/94]
McGavick “a former insurance lobbyistā€¯ [Chief Executive, April 2003]

…but now the Democrats are sending around copies of one of the many lobbyist registration forms McGavick filled out as a lobbyist in D.C.



Burner Calls for Hastert’s Resignation, and Challenges Reichert to Follow Her Lead

posted by on October 3 at 2:55 PM

With the Congressional page scandal getting worse by the moment, eastside Democrat Darcy Burner has fired off this open letter to Republican Congressman Dave Reichert:

October 3, 2006

Congressman Dave Reichert
2737 78th Ave SE
Suite 202, Second Floor
Mercer Island, WA 98040

Dear Congressman Reichert,

I write to you today as a constituent and mother. We cannot compromise the safety of our children and the integrity of the House of Representatives, so we must set partisanship aside and stand together on principle.

The disgraceful acts committed by former Congressman Mark Foley are a black mark on the halls of the people’s House. The inaction of the House leadership in addressing the issue only makes it worse.

Today you released a statement in support of an investigation of this matter. An investigation is called for, but insufficient. An investigation is certainly in order, so is the immediate resignation of those House leaders who knew about Mark Foley’s grossly inappropriate communications with young pages.

Today the editorial board of the Washington Times called on Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert to resign. The paper writes “Either he was grossly negligent for not taking the red flags fully into account and ordering a swift investigation, for not even remembering the order of events leading up to last week’s revelations — or he deliberately looked the other way in hopes that a brewing scandal would simply blow away…. Mr. Hastert has forfeited the confidence of the public and his party, and he cannot preside over the necessary coming investigation, an investigation that must examine his own inept performance.”

Dennis Hastert’s ineffective handling of this issue follows numerous other scandals that have plagued our Congress under his watch, including the indictment of former House Speaker Tom DeLay, the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal and the conviction of Rep. Duke Cunningham. There’s no more room for excuses. We need a substantial change in the leadership of the House of Representatives.

I ask you to join me in calling for the resignation of Speaker Dennis Hastert.

Darcy Burner

Teaching Art

posted by on October 3 at 2:43 PM

Last week’s outrageous story about the suburban Texas teacher who was fired after she took her fifth-grade class on a field trip and one of the kids saw nude sculpture (eeeek! aaack!) struck me at first as typical Texas crap.

But what about burbs teachers around here? Do they see a story like this and think twice before booking a trip to the Frye, where Henry Darger’s cartoonish girls with penises run amok? Just this morning I saw a class of kids studying the old European paintings at the Frye, but did they see the Darger? And if not, why not? Because of the penises? Those are far less upsetting than the images of the girls being strangled, their fat tongues hanging out. Can children go to see the Henry’s new photography shows?

And what exactly is the difference between the urban child and the suburban child? I don’t have kids, but I’m curious to hear about this from anyone who does.

Coincidentally, I’m going to Dallas this weekend and will most likely find myself at the Dallas Museum of Art, where the offending “abstract nude” was witnessed by the poor child whose life will never be the same again

No School for You!

posted by on October 3 at 2:40 PM

Since nobody else will come to the defense of the poor kids who were belatedly rejected from the UW: I certainly hope the UW is asking for letters explaining the students’ drop in academic performance rather than booting them out forthwith. Because the summer after my senior year, I received a threatening letter from the University of Virginia telling me to explain my D in “Contemporary Problems.” It made me cry, not only because I’m a crybaby, but because it was way too late to get in anywhere else (except maybe SCCC).

So I wrote a tearful screed explaining that “Contemporary Problems” was in fact a theology class taught by a Sister Marie Antoinette (name changed only slightly to protect the guilty), who, among other things, required our (all-female) class to “plan our marriages,” including role-playing a session with a parish marriage counselor and writing a homily about the sacredness of the marital union in the eyes of God. We also read a ridiculous novel about a nurse in Saigon under the pretense of studying the Vietnam war, and had to pen a prayer in verse—mine included the still-cherished couplet “orphans need help / dogs have to whelp”. Needless to say, I wasn’t rewarded for my sabotaging efforts.

Anyway, UVa came around, especially with the help of a fresh crop of AP scores. May the UW humbly accept contrary evidence as well.

Left-Wing Attack Dogs

posted by on October 3 at 2:15 PM


The left doesn’t have many attack dogs—no one like, oh, right-wing attack dog Matt Drudge, who accused those beastly teenagers of egging on poor Mark Foley. We don’t have a daily newspaper staffed by attack dogs like, oh, the Wall Street Journal, which today blamed the gays and a culture that “toleratesā€¯ open homosexuality for the actions of Florida’s most famous closet-case. We’ve got Air America—but for how long?—but we don’t have an attack-blabber anything like Rush Limbaugh, who today allowed Dennis Hastert to blame the folks who really run the House of Representatives—those all-powerful liberals!—for the cover-up of the Foley scandal.

What would a left-wing attack dog with the morals and mindset of a right-wing attack dog be out there screaming right now?

Dennis Hastert is a homo.

Hastert isn’t, of course. He’s a marred man, and I’ve heard no rumors about Hastert having any interest in teenage boys or grown men or Project Runway marathons. But there are two things we know about Hastert that make the smear possible—and if Foley and Haster were Democrats, would make the smear inevitable:

1. Hastert covered up for a closeted fellow Republican that was preying on teenage pages.

2. Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach.

A high school wrestling coach? You know how they are. Or how they’re inclined to be. It’s a profession that attracts more than its fair share of sex predators. Why it’s even happened here. Because, really, why would any grown man want to spend so much time around sweaty teenage boys anyway? Showing them moves, helping them adjust their singlets, sending them off to the showers—it’s a boy-lovers dream job.

So you can bet your buttplugs that if this were a Democratic scandal Dennis Hastert’s career as a wrestling coach would be more than enough to convinct him of being a fellow-traveling, boy-crazy, danger-to-all-things-good-and-decent homosexual. Can’t you hear Limbaugh now? “If you’re wondering why Democratic House Speaker Denise Hastert didn’t launch and immediate investigation into that pervert Mark Foley (D-Key West), I think we can safely guess! Hastert, a former high school wrestling coach, was jealous! And maybe—and I’m just speculating here, my fellow Americans—maybe the Democrat House Speaker has a few teenage skelatons in that closet of his!”

Calling Hastert a homo—it’s straight out of Karl Rove’s playbook. And if the left were as scruple-free and homophobic as the right, the left-wing noise machine would be pinning pink triangles all over Hastert right now.

Context is Everything

posted by on October 3 at 1:14 PM

That’s the lesson being learned the hard way by Richard Mitchell, the superintendent of Illinois’ Bremen High School District, who’s being threatened with dismissal after creating a video subversively spoofing a number of schoolteachers, then posting it on the school district website. (Click link to see video.)

Clearly, posting the lightly edgy video on the school’s website wasn’t the wisest thing for Superintendent Mitchell to do (although I wish I’d gone to school under a superintendent who understood the value of drug and murder jokes). Still, the charge being led for his dismissal seems to have less to do with the iffy video and more to do with Mitchell’s homosexuality.

(Thanks to Towleroad.)

NYC Loves Shaun Surething, Germany Loves Chuck Klosterman

posted by on October 3 at 1:12 PM

Me and Shaun outside Seagull

I just returned from a brief escape to New York City—something I strive to do at least once a year. The primary purpose of this trip was to attend the wedding of former Seattleite Jeff Wood, so I ran into plenty of Seattle and Portland folks at the ceremony, including Ben London, John Hollis Fleischman, and Bill Bernhard. The day before the wedding, I had the pleasure of checking in with former Vain stylist Shaun “Surething” Cottle. He moved to NYC earlier this year to open a salon with Le Tigre’s Johanna Fateman and by all accounts, they’re doing quite well. I know Shaun has many fans and friends here in Seattle, who would appreciate knowing that the Seagull Haircutters salon is kicking serious ass, snapping up celebrity clients of all stripes as well as the expected cadre of musicians and artists. Go Shaun!

In weirder news, during dinner with my friend Chuck Klosterman before the sold-out Hold Steady show at Irving Plaza, I learned that the German company who is publishing his book made a commercial to promote their release of Killing Yourself to Live, Chuck’s book about traveling across the United States to visit landmark sites of famous rock star deaths. Is it just me or are commercials for books something previously only seen in conjunction with Dianetics or Oprah’s latest literary endorsement? See for yourself here.

A Flurry of Letters

posted by on October 3 at 1:12 PM

EDITOR: Your lead article by Brendan Kiley expressed more of my emotions than you can imagine—unless you too have hunted, killed animals by hand….
DEAR BRENDAN: “The Urban Huntā€¯ is surely the most inspired piece of reportage that has ever graced the pages of The Stranger
BRENDAN: I’m from WV, and I know the “take your date squirrel huntingā€¯ culture. I’ve personally killed and butchered our own hogs and chickens. I know where meat comes from. A couple of points: First, your hunting technique sucks to the point where it constitutes cruelty and is irresponsible….
EDITOR: This article disgusted me. I made it through the rabbits but couldn’t get to the end of the pigeons….

We received dozens of interesting letters in response to “The Urban Hunt” and we’re collecting them all here. More will appear in Thursday’s paper.

Was He Drunk on the House Floor Too?

posted by on October 3 at 12:49 PM

It just keeps getting better: Foley interrupted House floor vote to have Internet sex with teenage page. (He offered the teenage boy alcohol, too: “We may need to drink at my house so we don’t get busted.”)

Trips, Memories, Lanes

posted by on October 3 at 12:47 PM

Way back in the late ’80s, some old-timer made a two-minute road movie using stills, with a nice little soundtrack by Incredible Force Of Junior:

“Sometime around 1988 I stuck my thrift store Bauer Super 8 camera out the sunroof of a VW Bug and squeezed the plunger of the shutter release cable, taking single frames all the way from Olympia to Seattle.”

This is the result:

Such memories—the Rainier brewery sign! The Kingdome! The boxy, boxy cars!

(From the nostalgia site Finkbuilt.)

Bonus Northwest trivia: Did you know that Mount Rainier was named for British Naval leader Peter “Chunky Monkey” Rainier, Jr. (1741—April 7, 1808) because because his pals thought the (bigass) mountain:


resembled the (big-assed) man?


Just kidding! Nobody knows why Rear Admiral Vancouver named the mountain after Rainier, but historians speculate it’s because the former was an incorrigible suck-up.

“There’s a mystery about creative writing, but it’s a boring mystery.”

posted by on October 3 at 12:41 PM

Here’s Stephen King writing about writing.

Dig this: The so-called “writing life” is basically sitting on your ass.

Found that link on’s books blog (which, judging from the comments, or lack thereof, hasn’t found its readership yet—it’s worth checking out, even if it’s attached to a store, because it has smart contributors, including Tom Nissley). That Stephen King thing is not the greatest thing you’ll ever read about writing, although to the guy’s credit he’s already published a whole book on the subject(On Writing). I never read that book, although the excerpt of it in The New Yorker, about getting hit by a car, was great.

Teaching Evolution Causes School Shootings

posted by on October 3 at 12:37 PM

Just one of the many keen insights supplied by our dreaded liberal media.

(Thanks to Slog Tipper Jennifer Elam.)

Reichert vs. the Seattle Times, the Seattle P-I, and Global Warming

posted by on October 3 at 12:33 PM

Last week Jonathan Martin of the Seattle Times landed a rather eye-opening scoop about the environmental views of eastside Republican Congressman Dave Reichert: The congressman, Martin reported, isn’t convinced that global warming exists.

It was a shocking report given that Reichert claims to be a moderate and an environmentalist. As I noted here on the Slog after Martin’s story was published, Reichert’s reluctance to believe in global warming puts him to the right of President Bush, who at least admits global warming is real (even if Bush still claims to be unsure as to why global warming is occuring).

One thing Reichert doesn’t want this election year is to be caught taking a position to the right of a president who has a 71-percent disapproval rating in Reichert’s moderate eastside district. And so, with the Times and P-I both noting Reichert’s right-of-Bush global warming position in recent days, Reichert now appears to be doing damage control by blaming the media for supposedly misrepresenting his views.

In a press release posted on his web site yesterday, Reichert’s office said:

Media reports… have not portrayed Rep. Dave Reichert’s (WA-08) position on global warming accurately.

Oh, really? First, let’s listen to Reichert’s new position, which his office is now claiming has always been his position:

I do not question the reality of global warming. The question I have and am investigating is whether global warming is caused by man’s activity or if global warming is one of the natural temperature fluctuations we’ve seen over the course of the earth’s history. And the follow-up question for me is, what can we do about it?

Now, here’s what the Seattle Times reported on Sept. 27:

Last week, Reichert, of Auburn, said he remained unsure about climate change or what role humans might play.

“The problem is, you have some scientists who say it’s happening, and some who say it’s not happening. The problem is the Sierra Club says that every scientist says it is,” said Reichert, a member of the House Science Committee.

I’m going to wait until all the facts are in. There were many scientists who used to say the world was flat.

Reichert was very clearly comparing scientists who say global warming is happening to people who once thought the earth was flat. And if that’s not clear enough, here’s another excerpt from the Times article:

Reichert said global warming is a “possibility” but views the science with the same sense of skepticism he held as a homicide detective for the King County Sheriff’s Office.

“I will be convinced when I’m convinced,” he said. “As an investigator, I’ve not been conclusively convinced.”

Reichert apparently feels the above excerpts misrepresent his views. But did Reichert ask Jonathan Martin for a correction? “No,” Martin told me this morning. Martin continued:

The story I wrote is accurate, and Reichert’s office has said as much.

Here’s an email Martin sent this morning to Reichert’s spokeswoman, Kimberly Cadena, registering his concern about the Congressman’s press release:

From: Jonathan Martin

To: Cadena, Kimberly

Sent: Tue Oct 03 13:34:47 2006

Subject: RE: NEWS*Reichert Clarifies Position on Global Warming

Kimberly - I hope you aren’t counting my piece as journalism that did not accurately report Dave’s view on global warming. Because that’s the impression this leaves…

To which Cadena replied:

From: Cadena, Kimberly

Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 10:38 AM

To: Jonathan Martin

Subject: Re: NEWS*Reichert Clarifies Position on Global Warming

Nope, doesn’t reference your piece at all. I think it would be bad form to point out which of your peers (in journalism, not at the Times) it does reference, so I won’t. :-)

Bad form, huh. Well, it’s not hard to figure out which of Martin’s “peers” Cadena is referring to here. In this morning’s P-I, there’s a correction to Chris McGann’s story on Reichert’s surprising global warming views. (The correction doesn’t appear to be online yet, but when it is I’ll post a link.)

The bizarre thing about all of this is that McGann’s P-I story was very clearly an attempt to catch up with Martin’s Times story from five days earlier. It reported essentially the same thing as the Times did: That Reichert has said he doubts the existence of global warming.

So here’s a question for Reichert: Why did he ask for a correction from the P-I, but not from the Times?

And here’s a question for the P-I: Why in the world did it give Reichert the correction?

The P-I’s (convoluted) correction allows Reichert to now claim something that is demonstrably false: That the media has misrepresented his views on global warming.

In fact, based on the email sent today from Reichert’s office to the Seattle Times, a story reporting that Reichert doubts the reality of global warming is not a story in need of correction.

Letter of the Day

posted by on October 3 at 12:00 PM

Let me get this straight (so to speak): Bill Sherman protects the Endangered Species Act, volunteers to defend abortion clinics, and fights for victims of domestic violence; Stephanie Pure organizes a renters’ summit, defeats the Teen Dance Ordinance, and restores funding to Seattle public libraries; and the voters elect Jamie Pedersen, who represents companies that manufacture vinyl windows, sings with the Seattle Men’s Chorus, and loses the pivotal Supreme Court marriage-equality case? If Pedersen failed to convince five judges to invalidate DOMA, how is he going to convince 49 representatives to repeal it? By singing to them?

Bill Sherman and Stephanie Pure were the most qualified candidates to represent our district. If the voters like Jamie Pedersen so much, then I ask them to consider this: I’m gay, I went to Yale with Jamie, and I guarantee them I could lose a vitally important Supreme Court case. Why
not elect me?

Todd Weiner

Mucha Lucha!

posted by on October 3 at 11:58 AM

While everyone had their panties in a knot over the ‘Hawks vs. Bears game this past weekend, there was a real live Lucha Libre wrestling match going on. Right here in Seattle, just south of Qwest Field, at the new Fenix. It was BEYOND entertaining. For a minute, I didn’t feel like I was even in Seattle anymore….


posted by on October 3 at 11:57 AM

From Wonkette comes this unbelievably disturbing story: it looks like we’re surreptitiously beginning to mobilize against Iran:

Today, the USS Eisenhower Carrier Strike Group leaves port in Norfolk for the Persian Gulf. The group includes the USS Anzio, the guided-missile destroyers USS Ramage and USS Mason and the attack sub USS Newport News. Time and The Nation are among the mainstream mags saying this is the beginning of the (Iranian) war.

I especially love that the Carrier Strike Group is named after the penis-headed former President who warned us about the Military-Industrial Complex in the first place. It’s ironic, in a strictly Alanis sort of way. And, hey, doesn’t “Military-Industrial Complex” sound euphonious next to “Islamo-Fascist?” It’s kind of like poetry.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy making Groaning Old Pedophile jokes as much as the next guy*, but it looks like we’re dragging out the old American War Cock to cry Doom and Destruction over Mesopotamia: just when you look to the side, they nail you from the front. These Goddamn Monsters might have a chance at the beginning of November after all.

*Also from Wonkette, which has become the website to keep on bookmark this week:

Q: Why don’t Republicans use bookmarks?

A: Because they bend over pages.

Arts In America

posted by on October 3 at 11:53 AM

1) “A pillar holding up a freeway overpass can strike Mr. de Botton’s sensitive eye as a sedentary, cheerful woman, while another seems likes a punctilious, nervous accountant.”

2) “A man who claims to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s newborn daughter has filed a lawsuit demanding the reality TV star and baby girl return to California for paternity testing.”

3) “Drosscape: Wasting Land in Urban America is your guide to this vast, hitherto largely ignored field of waste landscapes.”

4) “A family judge ordered the singer arrested if he steps foot in Massachusetts after Bobby Brown failed to show for a hearing Monday over delinquent child support payments.”

5) “The dramatic and angular, titanium-clad structure derives its inspiration from the mountain range that surrounds it.”

6)”It was Monica who came across as the red-blooded predator, wailing to her girlfriends that the president wouldn’t go all the way.”


Scissor Sisters
A beloved cult band in the U.S., mainstream pop superstars in the UK, New York’s Scissor Sisters remain a pop-art miracle, producing high-concept postmodern pop songs that actually connect with the masses. It’s like Warhol’s soup cans endowed with actual nutritional value, and the band’s new album, Ta-Dah, is even better than their smashing debut. Live, Scissor Sisters bring it, tearing up the stage as if they’re the illegitimate freak baby produced by Elton John’s gang rape by the B-52s, Chic, and The Muppet Show. Go, and take extra panties to throw at lead singer/local-boy-made-great Jason “Jake Shears” Sellards. With DJ Sammy Jo and Small Sins. (The Showbox, 1426 First Ave, 8 pm, $30, all ages.) DAVID SCHMADER

A last word: In the tradition of William Arnold, I propose that criticism extend its field of attack beyond the arts, beyond politics, beyond the human social realm and confront, examine, and pass judgment on everything that moves, that is in creation. Even an unbrained paramecium, a unicellular organism, deserves good criticism. What is its style of swimming? How well or badly does it respond to vibrations, to heat, to light? Is its membrane outstanding or ordinary? Nothing in the universe must escape criticism.

Screw You, Creationists

posted by on October 3 at 10:15 AM

American scientists John Mather and George Smoot have been awarded the Nobel Prize for physics for their work supporting the Big Bang.

Hey McFlyyyyyyy!

posted by on October 3 at 9:38 AM

I’ve got a question for actor Tom Wilson, the man best known for his brilliant role as BIFF in the Back to the Future trilogy: So, Biff, what are you doing these days? As it turns out, he’s doing stand up comedy and singing songs about how he wishes people would stop asking him STUPID QUESTIONS.
(Sorry… Should I ask him how he got so funny?)

The Morning News

posted by on October 3 at 8:34 AM

Old School: Plane hijacked in Greece, hijackers reportedly demand to be flown to—and land safely at—another airport. Pope to blame!

Foleygate: He knew about the naughty emails and did nothing, so right-wing nuts at Moony-owned Washington Times call on Speaker Hastert to resign.

Hastert’s Head: Pinning the blame on Hastert is the Republican plan, says Americablog: “…blame Hastert, so then when he resigns, the “problem” will be gone, and the other members can no longer be blamed.”

Your Liberal Media: Two Florida daily newspapers knew about the emails for more than a year and also did nothing.

North Korea: Tired of being out of the international spotlight, North Korea promises to test nukes soon. Perhaps Kim Jong could be persuaded to hit on a few pages instead?

Black Helicopters: Right-wing nut dies in car accident. Respect for the dead now obligates media to refer to former congresswoman Helen as “outspoken,” and not batshitcrazy. Striking a blow for libertarian values, the “outspoken” anti-government conservative wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was holding a baby in her lap at the time of the accident. The baby survived.

No School: Already admitted by the UW, some local high school seniors blow off classes, get lousy grades. Now their admissions have been revoked.

Monday, October 2, 2006

Still Bitter on Yom Kippur

posted by on October 2 at 6:40 PM

In the comments thread to the post I did this morning (where I basked in my bitterness about the double standards that afflicted the monorail)… a sympathetic Slog reader chimed in with a rare supportive comment:

I won’t defend the management at SMP, but if we can afford a waterfront tunnel, we could have afforded to kick in a few hundred mil to put a larger downpayment on a capital investment adding functionality instead of moving traffic underground for a mile.

Seattle Monorail:

Voters Told: $1.75 billion (Ballard - WS)
Actual: $2.1 billion (Ballard - WS)

Overrun: 350 million

Sound Transit Central Link:

Voters Told: $1.67 billion (UW-Seatac)
Actual: $2.3 billion (Westlake - Seatac)

PLUS $1.7 to get to the UW (Projected)

Overrun: $2.3 billion.

To be fair to Sound Transit, the comment is a little off. The apples to apples number for Sound Transit’s original estimate (if you’re going to compare it to the current $2.3 billion from Westlake to Seatac) is $2.5 billion … (although, of course, that was UW to Seatac.)

Anyway, that brings the Sound Transit cost overrun to $1.5 billion…not $2.3 billion.

However, Sound Transit’s $1.5 billion is still a lot more than the monorail’s $350 million. Sigh.

Finally, we smoke out the Truth.

posted by on October 2 at 4:08 PM

This weekend I was loitering, contemplating whether or not to waste my youth through substance abuse, when I found this helpful pamphlet.


I was immediately drawn in by its Goosebumps-esque cover.

“Drug culture has been in America since the middle of the last century,” the introduction explains. The pamphlet goes on to profile illicit substances your kids might be doing in the alley, at school or even in their own rooms. On the marijuana page, there’s a list of actual street names for marijuana, some of which are just ridiculous:

blunt, grass, herb, sinsemilla, smoke, pot, reefer, weed, mary jane, skunk, boom, gangster, kiff, chronic, ganja, super skunk, purple haze, dope, nederweed

Shouldn’t “gangster” be reserved for some harder drug? Maybe something involving rum-running and zoot suits? When was the last time you saw someone smoking boom in a zoot suit?

Anyway, at least seven of those names seemed fabricated to me, though I thought maybe I just don’t roll with the right crowd and should seek some expert testimony. Those bolded “street names” are ones that both Dominic Holden, Seattle’s premier pot-legalization activist, and David Schmader, Seattle’s premier pothead, have never heard (though Holden also mentioned some they missed, namely hobbit leaf, hippie lettuce and “wacky tobacky”).

So who wrote this thing? Since they obviously didn’t consult the druggies themselves, I imagined a conference room full of middle-aged men, hashing out ideas of what they think those Young People are talking about in The Street.

It’s far, far worse than I imagined. Check out the back of the pamphlet:

Matt Drudge on Mark Foley: Teenage Beasts to Blame!

posted by on October 2 at 2:59 PM

Check out Matt Drudge on Mark Foley:

And if anything, these kids are less innocent—these 16 and 17 year-old beasts… and I’ve seen what they’re doing on YouTube and I’ve seen what they’re doing all over the internet—oh yeah—you just have to tune into any part of their pop culture. You’re not going to tell me these are innocent babies. Have you read the transcripts that ABC posted going into the weekend of these instant messages, back and forth? The kids are egging the Congressman on! The kids are trying to get this out of him. We haven’t got the whole story on this.

Gee… I wonder… if I got caught sending naughty emails to teenage boys, would the right-wing attack machine blame me? Or those beastly teenage boys that egged me on?

File this under one creepy closet case coming to the aid of another.

(Via Atrios.)

Mars Hill: Bigger Than Ever

posted by on October 2 at 2:29 PM

This morning, the Seattle P-I profiled Mars Hill Church, which just opened a new satellite church at Chief Sealth High School in West Seattle, under the headline “Young Families Finding their Faith in Mars Hill’s Urban Ministry.” The piece is an utterly uncritical—nay, glowing— look at the church’s “urban ministries,” focusing primarily on Mars Hill’s plans to “become ‘missionaries to the city,’ displaying biblical hallmarks — a commitment to traditional marriage and family, a dedication to serving others — that would attract others.”

“God has positioned us on the fault line between two worlds,” [chief pastor Mark Driscoll] said, adding that those with more means have the opportunity to help their less-affluent neighbors in a city growing more densely populated.

Since urban areas bear so much influence in cultural, social, political and other spheres, “if you want to change the world, you must reach the city,” Driscoll said.

The P-I describes Mars Hill’s philosophy as “contemporary biblical teaching.” Oh, really? Here are few of the things Mars Hill’s members believe (all quotes are from Driscoll’s sermons):

ā€¢ God does not want women to have jobs. Their role is to get married, stay at home and have as many babies as possible. (Conveniently, birth control is immoral, too.) “Women will be saved by going back to that role that God has chosen for them. Ladies, if the hair on the back of your neck stands up it is because you are fighting your role in the scripture.”

ā€¢ Women also should not seek leadership roles, either in society (“There is no occasion where women led a society and were its heads and the men complied and followed. … It’s a matter of Biblical creation”) or in the church (“Every single book in your Bible is written by a man.”)

ā€¢ Homosexuality is an abomination. People who are gay can change. “Your banners, your floats, your buttons—they’re not good. It’s just like letting cancer come into a body… until the cancer consumes the body and kills you. … We will extricate the cancer, and if that person who has the cancer is repentant and wants to kill the cancer, then we’ll welcome them back. But they have to accept that anything but one man, one woman, one God, one life is sexually immoral.”

ā€¢ Evolution is a lie. Humans were descended from a man named Adam created by God a few thousand years ago. “The lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. This is the making of the first human being, our father Adam. We all descend from him and there was no human life before this man.”

ā€¢ Hell is a real, physical place, and“it’s hot. Real hot.”

Contrary to what you’d think after reading today’s P-I, Mars Hill is an evangelical church with a radical-right agenda and a taste for conquest. “Contemporary biblical” theology is a completely misleading way to describe what Mars Hill teaches its legions of young members. The growing influence of right-wing megachurches like Mars Hill (3,500 active members so far, with plans to expand to 10,000), especially among young adults, should alarm anyone who believes in civil rights, reproductive freedom, and women’s equality.

Gnarls Barkley’s New Video

posted by on October 2 at 2:10 PM

Though they may not be bringing anything very new to their rendition of the Violent Femme’s “Gone Daddy Gone,” this video proves that Gnarls Barkley at least has a soft spot for fleas and crabs. (Don’t miss the truly disturbing ending.)

Tip o’ the hat to Stereogum!

We’ve Only Just Begun…

posted by on October 2 at 1:27 PM

And the shit’s getting thicker by the minute: “E-mails Show Foley Sought to Rendezvous with Page,” reports ABC. (This same report suggests Foley may have successfully executed a “rendezvous” with the teen in San Diego.)

My chest is nearly constricted with horror and awe. This Foley saga is beyond my wildest dreams and crappiest nightmares, blending trashy To Catch a Predator thrills with NAMBLA/Neverland fantasia to create pure Republican disgrace and vastly rewarding and galling non-Republican schadenfreude. Truly, I never thought we non-GOPs would ever be handed something so trashily damning of our Republican brethren by our Republican brethren. Plus, if Foley resigned over only a few “naughty emails” (see you in Hell, Snow), I can only imagine what kind of soon-to-be-discovered shit is hovering on the horizon…stay tuned, stay sweet, LYLAB.

Three Quick Things

posted by on October 2 at 12:59 PM


This is from a recent conversation I had with the second most famous African novelist (and the most famous Kenyan novelist) in the whole history of the world, NgÅ©gÄ© wa Thiong’o.

Me: So, do you know of a man called Jared Angira? He is a Kenyan.
Ngũgĩ: Not the Jared Angira. The poet?
Me: Yes, the poet.
Ngũgĩ: Of course I do. He is one of the best poets that Kenya has produced. He is very well known in my country. I even think he is the most well known poet in Kenya. Is he big in Zimbabwe?
Me: No, I don’t think so. But I met and learned of him here, in Seattle. He lives here now.
Ngũgĩ: (his face expressing total disbelief) What? How can this be? He lives in Seattle? What in world is he doing here?
Me: He still writes and will be teaching poetry at a local literary center.
NgÅ©gÄ©: Did I tell you that he is the best poet in Kenya? He is very famous in Kenya…

The poet Ngũgĩ clearly admires is teaching a course at Hugo House called This Africa: Sub-Saharan Poetry. If you want be in the presence of the real African deal, this is your chance.


Speaking of the courses at Hugo House, the coordinator of the teaching program is currently under suspicion of having broken into my apartment and, after examining its contents, developing a big part of the fall courses around my reading habits—as made evident to them by the books in my modest library. One course is called Proust for Beginners, which promises to expose students to the magical world of Swann’s Way. From the course description: “Flowers, food, a small French town on a Sunday morning, a group of girls walking along the seashore. Unforgettable characters, satires of Parisian high society, insights into the psychology of love, vagaries of memory and more.” Is there really more than this? Yes there is! Another course is called Reading Lolita in Seattle, which promises to expose students to “one of the most disturbing and original novels of the 20th Century.” If I taught this class it would be called Reading Lolita in Eternity. I have never stopped reading it. The book is the life of my language.


“There was a double bed, a mirror, a double bed in the mirror.” After reading this sentence a few days ago (I was in a double bed at the time), I felt the need to underline it but then stopped myself. I then realized not a single sentence or paragraph was underlined in my copy of Lolita. All of my other books are ruined by blue, black, red lines, so why was Lolita, after so many readings, still pristine? Why? Because to underline the great passages of the book is to underline the whole book itself. One unending line, from the first word, “Lolita,” to the last, “way.” Not underlining it is the only sane way of underlining everything—words, sentences, paragraphs, chapters, the book.

More Housing You Can’t Afford

posted by on October 2 at 12:48 PM

Rising from a hole in the ground on north Capitol Hill: Harvard and Highland, with 38 luxury condos ranging from 1,670 to 3,800 square feet, each with two, three, or four parking spaces. Starting price: $995,000.

The barebones promotional web site calls the development “a private enclave of five intimate boutique buildings, beautifully landscaped gardens, picturesque courtyards, and artistic water features.” Unfortunately, there are no pictures available online, but the sign in front of the property showed a multi-family version of a suburban McMansion, complete with prominent garages and a great-room-style central foyer.


School Shooting

posted by on October 2 at 12:36 PM

Six dead, three wounded in the latest school shooting.

The county coroner says at least six people were killed in a shooting at a one-room Amish schoolhouse, where state police said earlier a gunman killed “a number” of people Monday in Pennsylvania’s bucolic Lancaster County.

Me? I blame the raves those Amish kids, uh, never go to.

Mark Foley & Me

posted by on October 2 at 12:12 PM


I was on airplanes most of the weekend, so I wasn’t able to Slog about the exploding Mark Foley scandal. I don’t have much to add at this point. There’s nothing I can say about the scandal that John Aravosis hasn’t said better at Americablog, and nothing I can say about the warping dynamics of the closet that Andrew Sullivan hasn’t already said better at the Daily Dish.

But I did want to, uh, insert myself into the Mark Foley scandal just a bit.

You know how with each passing Bush administration scandal—male prostitutes running amuck in the White House, “Bin Laden Determined to Attack in U.S.,ā€¯ widespread domestic spying, lies that lead us to war (those of us who supported the war at the outset are more angry about the lies than those that had the good sense to oppose it all along), the loss of an American city—you listen as Republicans make excuses for Bush and think, “Shit, if Clinton had done that he’d be impeached!ā€¯

I have to own up to a moment’s self-obsession, I guess, because every time a Republican opens his mouth excuse the House leadership’s cover-up or minimize what Foley did—they were just “naughty emails,ā€¯ says White House spokesman and former Fox News hack Tony Snow; those teenage boys egged Foley on, says Matt Drudge—I can’t help but think, “Shit, if I had done that I’d be in fucking prison!ā€¯

I may not have any pages at “Savage Love,ā€¯ but I do have access to plenty of teenage boys through my column. Hell, I access to more teenage boys than Mark Foley has in his wildest dreams. Teenagers send questions to “Savage Loveā€¯ every day. And while Foley had to manipulate teenagers into having conversations with him about sex—telling these teenage boys that they’re hot, asking if he makes them horny, pumping them for info about how they masturbate—teenagers that write to me already have sex on their minds.

Most of the mail from teenagers is pretty straightforward: they send questions about birth control or STIs or their kinks or their relationships. But some gay teenagers, having only seen one extremely flattering press photo of me (I wish I looked like the picture of me on my Wiki page), email offers. Some send pictures, some send links to the their all-too-revealing MySpace pages. (Confidential to Mark Foley: If you really wanna live your dream—teenage boys hitting on you—get an advice column and a really good press photo.)

And what do I do with these emails? I delete them. Responding to these emails—to say nothing of taking any of these kids up on their offers (offers most would withdraw if they saw me in person)—just wouldn’t be right. Because the last thing gay high-school boys need in their lives, in my opinion, are gay middle-aged men.

In all honestly I have to admit to be tempted on occasion—did I mention that some of these guys are freaking hot? and over the age of consent?—but it would be professional and personal suicide for me to respond to these emails. Imagine the shitstorm if some parent found flirtatious emails from the middle-aged, openly-gay author of American’s sleaziest sex-advice column on their kid’s computer.

Another good reason not to respond: I’m just paranoid and/or self-involved enough to suspect that some of the flirtatious emails I receive from teenage boys—particularly emails from very young teenage boys who attach pics that look a little too pornified—are set-ups. Licking Gary Bauers doorknobs, ruining Rick Santorum’s good name, and writing the occasional op-ed for the NYT hasn’t exactly endeared me to the knuckle-draggers on the far right. I wouldn’t want to engage in a flirtatious chat with a gay teenager and then have to read the transcripts at—or hear them read out in court.

And if I did engage in that kind of chat with a teenage boy and got caught—if someone turned up email and IM threads in which I asked a kid to measure his cock for me, asked him for details about his masturbation habits, asked him if I made him horny—I’m thinking that Dennis Hastert, Tony Snow, Brit Hume, Matt Drudge, et all, would not have engaged in a cover-up to protect my skanky ass or, once the cover-up failed, would rush to my defense, pointing out that it was just, you know, a few naughty emails and the bad actions of teenage temptresses. No harm done, nothing to see here.

The ultimate irony in this scandal is that up and until he got caught, Mark Foley was doing everything right—at least as far as the GOP’s base is concerned. Religious conservatives don’t seriously believe that gay men to become straight; they don’t believe in “ex-gaysā€¯ anymore than still-gays do. (Wanna stop a straight person from making the ex-gay argument? Ask him if he’d let his daughter marry one.) They want us to be closeted, like Mark Foley, a single man and a public figure who refused to answer direct questions about his sexuality one way or the other. (Has any straight man ever refused to reveal his sexual orientation?) Just like Mark, the GOP’s base want all of us to deny who we are, to go without intimate adult relationships, to live our lives alone, and to refuse to answer all direct questions about our sexuality. To the GOP, Mark Foley was a good homo.

Which is probably why the GOP leadership was only too willing to cover-up for Foley. Foley had been covering-up for them for years—covering up his sexuality—so why shouldn’t they return the favor? So what if closet cases tend to act out in sexually inappropriate ways? A few raped altar boys and skeeved out congressional pages are a price the gay-haters are willing to pay if it means fewer out homos.

Needless to say, being a bad homo—bad here defined “uncloseted”—I would not come in for the same consideration from GOP elected officials and their media apologists.

Cantwell: The Other Woman?

posted by on October 2 at 11:57 AM

A few weeks back I went after Mike McGavick’s closed divorce file. It’s out now, and there’s not a lot in there.

Turnabout is fair play. Stefan, over at Sound Politics, turned up Ron Dotzauer’s divorce file. Cantwell was Dotzauer’s girlfriend in the mid-80s and, according to the file, was an issue in Dotzauer’s divorce.

It’s not scandalous or even terribly important info, but since I made an issue of McGavick’s divorce (well, actually, McGavick made an issue of McGavick’s divorce), it seems like I should link to Stefan’s findings on Cantwell’s past.

I will say this: The press…and Stefan…seem to make a big deal out of a $15K—$50K loan that Cantwell made to Dotzauer…complaining that she helped some of Dotzauer’s clients. (Dotzauer is a lobbyist.) Problem with that is: It’s only a story if Dotzauer loaned Cantwell money…not the other way around. (Dotzauer’s clients were the lefty Cascade Water Alliance and the not so lefty U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

Indeed, as the Center for Responsive Politics told The Seattle Times:

It’s an uncommon financial arrangement, said Massie Ritsch, communications director for the Center for Responsive Politics, a Washington, D.C.-based watchdog group. But personal loans from supporters to lawmakers are more scrutinized because of the possibility that sweetheart deals could influence legislation. Cantwell’s situation raises fewer alarms, he said.

“It sounds unusual. It doesn’t sound concerning,” Ritsch said.

Other Urban Hunters

posted by on October 2 at 11:37 AM

I expected that response to the Urban Hunt would be intense. I was ready for the angry letters (“you are a sick f’r”) and the sad letters (“your recent article about hunting and killing stray animals in Seattle was beyond disturbing”), but the “me too!” letters took me by surprise.

There’s the woman who hunted one of the world’s largest rodent:

I studied hunting methods of the Chamacoco tribe in Paraguay—we basically went out in the canoe and slowly moved through the palm forests in search of them and shot at them with some whack rifles. It took days before we got one (they have become awful hunters due to being given canned food by missionaries… ) But, when we finally did get one, it was sooooo darn good. Dunno if it was actually tasty or I just thought it was because if my involvement in bringing in much needed meat…

And the woman looking for advice:

Glad to hear I’m not the only urban hunter-gatherer out there. I’ve culled ducks from the local arboretum, but my problem is that the meat turned out incredibly tough. Any processing suggestions?

And then all the people trading recipes and reminscing about hunting and game on this page in the forums.

Who knew?

Last words…

posted by on October 2 at 10:51 AM


First, to everyone who was bitching in the comments about all the sports posts, don’t blame me, blame the lazy Stranger staffers who weren’t also posting. And blame the booze. Always blame the booze.

I won’t bother with any post-mortem gloating about the harsh loss the Bears inflicted on your guys, because that can come back to haunt ya. Hope to live-slog Bears-Seahawks in the NFC Championship game. And Mariners at the Cubs next June—that should be fun too.

But right now, back to the drab drab life of academia. And the slog can return to local politics, and, like, monorail issues. And the rain. The endless rain is about to begin, yes?



Failure of the Oregon Education System

posted by on October 2 at 10:47 AM

Is there any other way to explain this sign I spotted Saturday night on Division St. in Portland?


Bitter on Yom Kippur

posted by on October 2 at 9:36 AM

Last year at this time, the Monorail agency was slammed for holding a board meeting on Yom Kippur.

From the 10/16/05 PI:

Clueless in Seattle: In a disastrous summer interview with labor leaders, monorail board member Cindi Laws remarked that Jews had given money to the anti-monorail campaign and that opponent Beth Goldberg was Jewish and hence likely to get ample funding.

Profuse apologies followed. But this week, the Seattle Monorail Project put off by two days a board meeting slated for Tuesday night. It was rescheduled for Thursday, which happens to be Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement and holiest day of the Jewish year.

“It shows a cultural insensitivity that a public body should not exhibit. You just don’t do it,” Robert Jacobs, regional director of the Anti-Defamation League, wrote to the board.

Is anyone throwing a fit this year about all the public meetings that are happening on Yom Kippur? That’s today. There are four city council hearings today, for example.

Look, I’m a Jew, and I’m not going to go out and torch a building over this. In fact, I think it’s totally fine for the government to hold meetings on Yom Kippur.

But it just reminds me how ridiculous the double standard was on the monorail.

Anyway, Happy Day of Atonement Mayor Gridlock. I just love that tunnel. I’m glad you’re going to the mat for it. Way to stand up for important transportation needs—even when the project is in financial trouble! Cars are important after all.

Monday Morning Sports Report

posted by on October 2 at 9:17 AM

Seahawks: Well that was embarrassing. And in what would turn out to be a fitting tribute, my internet connection fizzled shortly after Seattle’s second possession, making kablooey all my trash talk-via-Slog plans with the nefarious Chicago Fan.

Mariners: The season is officially over, and our boys went out in the best way possible (given the circumstances)—with a win. Final record: 78-84, nine wins more than last year. If the team adds some pitching in the off-seaon—say, someone like Jason Schmidt—they might even break .500 next year.

Huskies: Sure it was against Arizona, but a win is a win. 4-1. Nice.

Cougars: Whatev—actually, losing by just six to the #3 team in the nation ain’t something to scoff at. Good job, kitties.

In closing: 37-6? On national television? Egads. So much for Seattle’s vaunted passing attack. Any team that makes Rex Grossman look like Peyton Manning doesn’t deserve to be NFC Champions. Hopefully we can rebound in two weeks against hated division rivals St. Louis. Keep on praying, Alexander.

The Morning News

posted by on October 2 at 8:46 AM

Demon Rum: Booze made Mel Gibson an anti-semite, and now it looks like booze made Mark Foley a creepy, teenage-boy-stalker.

White Wash House: It wasn’t grooming behavior, it was just a few naughty emails. Oh, and the Scientologists were Foley fans from way back.

She Would, Wouldn’t She? “Rice Dismisses Charge That She Ignored Qaeda Warning.”

Meanwhile in Iraq: Armed gunmen wearing official-looking uniforms abduct 14 men from computer stores in Baghdad. There have to be easier ways of getting a little tech support.

Two is Company, 300,000,000 is a Crowd: US Population passes the 300 million mark. Unfortunately all those babies are going to grow up to be Republicans .

The Mighty Shehawks: Bears win, brother gloats.

Doesn’t Seattle Have Enough Problems? Ballard’s sexist, gay-bashing, metastasizing Mars Hill Church expands in Seattle, which founder compares to “ancient, godless Babylon.”

Dirty Tricks: “The Ethicist” in this weekend’s NYT Magazine kinda, sorta answered a question from a man whose iPod was stolen after what sounded like a drunken late-night threeway. This morning Gawker addresses the meat of the matter.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Two Quick Things

posted by on October 1 at 8:30 PM


Because it is Sunday, I want to bring up (or pick up) Ludwig Andreas von Feuerbach, a 19th century German philosopher whose main contribution to thought is the idea that humans, or more precisely Christians, give God the credit for the good things they do or achieve in life and themselves the responsibility for the negative or the bad things they do in life. When we are good, we are close to God; when we are bad, we are all too human. I bring this idea up (or pick this idea up) because on Sunday, America’s church day (with the hours between 9 am and 1 pm being its most segregated hours of the week), is America’s football day. And on TV we see lots young athletes performing amazing physical feats, and, after performing these feats, giving God, not themselves, the credit. Player after player attributes the ability to throw far or run very fast, positive attributes on the field, to the father of Jesus. But, of course, if these same young players are caught driving drunk after a game, or sleeping with a whore, this is now their own fault. “Where did he go wrong?” asks the Christian. “God gave him a gift and he wasted it.”

Amazingly, mainstream American Christianity has extended this God/good association to wealth, to prosperity, which is why there is, in the constitution of the ordinary American animal, no contradiction between making loads of money and being a good Christian—despite the fact that Christian morality is fundamentally the morality of the poor or, as pointed out in Genealogy of Morals, the morality of the slave. (When a black person enters a church in a poor community, that church has much more to do with original Christianity than the church entered by a white person in a rich community.)


The other thing I want to point out is the single reason why, as a practice, philosophy surpasses theology. Not, as Hegel thought, because religion is limited to picture-thinking (parables, allegories, myths, and the like) and philosophy gets to the substance of God directly by abstract reasoning—no, it’s because of this: Socrates, the founder of Western philosophy, knew how to laugh, whereas Jesus, the founder of Christianity, never laughed at all. Through all of the Gospels, Jesus is dead serious, thoughtful, angry, and even cries at one point (his greatest shame), but he never laughs. Even before he was executed by the city of Athens, Socrates, as we are told by Plato, laughed. Now imagine what kind of religion Christianity would be if Jesus had laughed on the cross? Indeed, Gibson’s movie would have an entirely different meaning if the real death of Jesus was, in spirit, closer to the Life of Brian.

(A last note: In the song “Why Should I Love You?,” which features Prince, a Christian of sorts, Kate Bush asks: “…have you ever seen a picture/of Jesus laughing?” Because she hasn’t seen such a picture (and nor have I), she speculates what a smiling Jesus would look like: “…mmm do you think/he had a beautiful smile?/a smile that healed?”)

OK, it’s time for healing

posted by on October 1 at 8:20 PM

Ah, it is sad. For you.

But I do sympathize. Really. I love Seattle—the Comet Tavern, the Hop Vine, the Market Grill at Pike Market (best fucking salmon sandwich anywhere).

So, for those of you who are suffering right now, I offer the reminder: tomorrow is another day. Put things in perspective. It’s just a game.

And tomorrow morning, I will post a post-mortem. Right now, it’s time to drink more and not worry about spilling on the borrowed laptop.

Turn Off Your Slog

posted by on October 1 at 8:19 PM

Well, good game Chicago. There’s no debating this one—Chicago played every part of the game well, and Seattle did nothing well.

Now where can I get one of those hats Hasselbeck was wearing on the sidelines tonight? That was a nice hat. Is it new? Stylish.

Thanks to Bill, our Chicago Fan. Nice blogging with you, Bill. Next week, the Seahawks win the Super Bowl.

Turn off your TV

posted by on October 1 at 8:07 PM

It’s over. When both teams have put in their backup quarterbacks, it’s over. I go outside onto Sheridan Road, and hear the throaty tones of many a fat woman singing. Or maybe that’s the El.

Hey Seattle Fan:

Turn off your TV. Turn on the local radio coverage. They’ll be less annoying. They’ll be talking about the next opponent, thinking long-term, reminding people that life goes on. Or does it?

Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up

posted by on October 1 at 8:04 PM

The real problem with sporting contests that are decided long before they are actually over is that the commentary becomes positively onbearable when there’s no more drama on the field.

Did you hear that “loaf” discussion? It’s a good thing I don’t have a gun in the house.

I am so mean

posted by on October 1 at 7:56 PM

OK, you need 31 to tie. That could be: 4 TDs w/3 PATs and one 2-point conversion. or 10 FGs and two safeties. Or … well, there are lots of possibilities. Though none of them are very likely.

To call him Hasselhoff. Obviously, it should be HasselSACK after back to back accks with about ten minues left in the fourth. And a nice return on the punt means Bears in great field position. Which doesn’t mean what Dan Savage thinks it means. Though it could.

End of third quarter

posted by on October 1 at 7:43 PM

OK, if Seattle Fan is going to move his posts ahead of mine, I’m not gonna bother to update.

Let me continue to be a chivalrous opponent and point out that it ain’t over yet—but let me also be realistic and point out that it’s pretty much over. I’m sorry Brad’s been absent, but hey, Anthony is doing a great job. Really. The Bears D is beating the ‘Hawks up, the Bears O is beating up the ‘Hawks D. All that’s lacking is some serious Special Teams action.

So, it’s time for notes from Comments. To whoever thought that this duelling slog would be between me and my brother Dan, what are you, high? Until he had a straight boy-child to raise, my brother Dan never paid any attention to sports. Now he calls me from Mariners’s games and asks me to explain complicated shit like double plays or intentional walks. If we were doing duelling liveslogging, we’d be spending most of this game explaining why “backfield,” “tight end” and “men in motion” don’t mean what he thinks they mean. Not that they don’t also mean that, but you know.

Deep Dish

posted by on October 1 at 7:21 PM

8:00 - Lovely. Back-to-back sacks. If the Seahawks have given up, why do I have to keep watching them? They owe me.

7:43 - John Madden: Winning is good. Losing not so much.

7:41 - Holy crap. Amazing pass. We’re dead.

7:39 - The team seems to have taken all this “12th man” talk around here a little too seriously.

7:37 - I can’t make the Seahawks put together a decent drive, but I can make my post jump to the top.

7:33 - I’m not sure what the football term is, but that’s what I call a missed goddamn opportunity. Two quick 1st downs, a touchdown pass that wasn’t, and 4th and 25.

7:32 - Now we’re talking. Freedom The ‘Hawks are on the march.

7:22 - In case you missed it, Chicago Fan said it’s “looking bad” for us ‘Hawks fans, a definite note of optimism about the Bears’ chances. If I know anything about Chicagoans and Chicago Fan’s family in particular, this basically guarantees a miraculous Seattle comeback. Hang in there, Seattle. If worst comes to worst, I can just delete his posts.

Crap. Now we need 8 field goals to win this thing.

Deep dish pizza is disgusting.

Holmgren hungry for deep dish

posted by on October 1 at 7:20 PM

Penalty declined. Odds of Seahawks winning decline.

the threat to delete my posts shows desperation, but does not eliminate the possibility of a ‘Hawks comeback. I keep talking about it in part to lessen its chances.

we don’t serve deepdish pizza in a sack, but maybe we should

4:58 left in 3rd: Hey, catch the fucking ball willya. Or drop it. OK by me.

6:47 left in third, Rex looking like Brad predicted all week. The tide could turn here for you ‘Hawks boosters

“That’s not a game plan, that’s a menu from Denny’s” says my buddy Rich, regarding Holmgren looking at some laminated piece of paper that probably says something like “score more points than them, then go to North Park College to hang out”

Deep dish pizza, properly prepared, is great. So is thin crust. So are various salmon dishes.

From now on, just updates

posted by on October 1 at 7:08 PM

10:05 left in the third: Bear score another running TD. It’s looking bad for you ‘Hawks fans

OK, the Bears are driving with about 12 minutes left in the 3rd. They’ve shifted to their running game, and the ‘Hawks D seems to be thinking pass.

As in, “I’ll take a pass on tackling any of these guys.”

Now the zebras are on the ‘Hawks side, for at least this one holding call. “Oh you unskillful fellow,” my friend John Anderson shouts out as Des Clark alligator-arms a sure TD. Shitfuck.

Flag back our way. It’s like southern Lebanon. Commercial

Have I mentioned that here Gurldoggie is right: Football is corporate America. The Bears are driving, pounding it up the middle, about to… and we have to stop for a fucking commercial ripping off Animal House? Shit.

All worship Mike Mulligan

posted by on October 1 at 6:55 PM

Ok, it’s not over yet. The pessimism that generations of sporting failure has built into Chicago fans kicks in, and so I’m not saying it’s over. But if the game continues like it has, it’s looking pretty much Bearish.

And why? Turnovers. As MIke Mulligan predicted, turnovers matter. Not that they don’t always, but if you subtract the 10 points the Bears have scored off Hasselhoff’s two INTs (and thanks to my personal statistician, Brian Heneghan for those numbers), it’s a 10-6 game and much closer to the potential result you Seattlites want.

It’s About Time

posted by on October 1 at 6:49 PM

7:01 - That face-stomper should absolutely be arrested. Ridiculous. The SI guy thinks fining a professional football player $25,000 is a “severe fine”? Bullshit. Fire the bastard.

It wasn’t particularly pretty, but we put some points on the board. Now if we can just do that 5 or 6 more times, we’ll be in good shape.

But what I’m really interested in is hearing about the “borderline assault” in the Dallas - Tennessee game at halftime.


posted by on October 1 at 6:37 PM

so is this how you update?

Ok, it’s halftime. What have we learned?

1)Apply the cliches. It ain’t over till it’s over. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. And here in Chicago, most obese city in America, someone on the comments thread claims (only cuz New Orleans is depopulated), there are some fat women warming up their vocal cords.

2)There’s a lot of football left to be played. Like most of a season, but more apropos, 30 minutes of Bears-Seahawks. If Holmgren and Co. can adjust agasint both sides of the ball, they can come back. They didn’t do that against the Steelers, but the Bears didn’t do that against the Panthers last year either.

3)Maybe I’ll learn to update by testing on this post.

Meanwhile, more beer.

It’s early yet

posted by on October 1 at 6:33 PM

Now begins the pessimism. A 17 point lead before halftime really doesn’t mean that much. Seattle has plenty of time to come back, and the offensive weapons to score a bunch of points. So no one here at Bruno’s is gloating much, except for drunken motherfuckers who I wouldn’t associate with if they didn’t happen to drink in the same place I drink.

But I am liking how much we’re hitting people. And hitting people is the essence of American football.

It;s the fucking United Nations out there

posted by on October 1 at 6:29 PM

Never seen so many flags. Nonetheless, Bears ball. Hasselhoff shoulda taken the sack. What is he, some kinda nut?

Seattle Fan?

posted by on October 1 at 6:24 PM

6:35 - Rats. Insert half-hearted words of hope for second half here.
6:31 - SON OF BITCH! White team, you’re on thin ice, baby.
6:30 - MOTHERFUCK! Holding penalty, and they played that “whaah whaah whaah” sound effect on us! Bastards! Now I’m pissed. Football Football Football.
6:25 - Okay, I know my name is “Seattle Fan” here, but WTF?! The Seagulls are screwing up. Ok, finally a good stop on the goal line. Now some good pass defense in the end zone. Al Michaels has declared it a “small victory!” Yay ‘gulls. I feel a comeback comin’ on. Starting…… NOW.

OK, Brad, WTF?

posted by on October 1 at 6:20 PM

Hey Brad and Anthony:

Ok, I’ll try to carry the load here for both sides, to channel Seattle FAn. Great work keeping the Bears out of the End Zone, there, guys. Really.

And let me also add: what broke your compute? A teddy… BEAR fall on it?


Anthony: just express joy when Seattle (the team in White) does well, and pain when the Bears (the team in Navy Blue—not black) does well. Sports is pretty easy, really.

Intercepting is Cheating

posted by on October 1 at 6:17 PM

Especially when the interceptor pleads no contest to assault because he doesn’t want to “lose time, money, or freedom.”


posted by on October 1 at 6:14 PM

Right after a killer Urlacher tackle, a great picl I’m opissed Manning let Hasselhoff run him outta bounds. Disgraceful

Hasselhoff, Meet the Bears D

posted by on October 1 at 6:06 PM

OK, a history lesson. The middle lineback postition was basically invented by the Chicago Bears. Bill George. Dick Butkus (the only football player name that … resonated for my brother Dan in his childhood), Mike Singletary, now Brian Urlacher. That rhymes with Linebacker. And Hasselhoff is getting his locker cleaned out.

Seattle D, the Zebras. Zebras, Seattle D.

posted by on October 1 at 6:01 PM

The penalties are helping too. And Robbie “Good as Gold” is now 11-for-11 for the year.

Seattle Fan Is Down!

posted by on October 1 at 5:57 PM

6:03 - Oh super. A field goal.
6:02 - HDTV is awesome.
6:01 - Big surprise—NBC has much less obnoxious on-screen graphics than FOX.
5:57 - The original Seattle Fan has been taken out of the game, complaining of a “broken computer.” That leaves me to fill the void. This is perfect, considering my razor thin interest in football.

Bad Wedding

posted by on October 1 at 5:55 PM

Did she just say, “it was one of the baddest weddings he had ever been to?”

Rex, Seattle D. Seattle D, Rex

posted by on October 1 at 5:54 PM

Nice to meet ya.

With 55 left in the First Quarter, Seattle D is looking like Seattle’s Rapid Transit. Nice plan, not executed. So far. Lotsa football left.

Time out

posted by on October 1 at 5:36 PM

Ribs just arrived. Nice field goal. Time to eat.

So far, so what?

posted by on October 1 at 5:30 PM

Brad: I thought that Seattle fans swore off Madden football. I’m really glad this bar is loud enough that I cannot hear the moronic announcers. 3 and out both ways. Now you’re up to something, but we’ll see.

The Game

posted by on October 1 at 5:26 PM

5:35 pm: Christ! That Morris draw play was a disaster. The Bears D looks mighty tough in the red zone. Guess we’ll have to start scoring from 30 yards out.

5:28 pm: Ah, but Chicago did go three and out. I believe experts describe that as being “off to a blazing start.”

5:26 pm: At least we didn’t go three and out. Now it’s time for Rex Grossman to meet the Seattle D.

Pre-Game Madden ‘07 Results

posted by on October 1 at 5:11 PM


Bears quarterback Rex Grossman receives a thorough shellacking from Seahawks defensive end Bryce Fisher in the first quarter of Sunday’s Madden ‘07 pre-game match-up. Seattle went on to win 48-13.

Go Hawks!

Pink? WTF?

posted by on October 1 at 5:00 PM

Ok, the pregame bullshit is on. I hate pregame bullshit. But I must admit that Pink
“singing” to introduce Sunday Night Football beats the hell out of Hank Williams IV “singing” to introduce Monday Night Football. And while I know next to nothing about pop music, I have the vague impression that Pink is half feminista, half pop slut. Great combination. And didn’t she write some anti-George Bush song? Any input from the slog readers who hate sports but love music? Should I feel ashamed of my response to Pink’s cleavage?

Time to order a beer. Soon, ribs will arrive from Hecky’s. That’s some pink pork.

Pregame Trash Talk

posted by on October 1 at 4:27 PM

time for the trash talk to begin in earnest.

Brad, high as Mt. Ranier, plans to post and then update. I’m too stupid for that, so I’ll just post as thing that matter happen, and let the comments fly.

To get started: why am I so sure Chicago will win tonight? Because we’re the better city, that’s why.

I’m writing this from Bruno and Tim’s, a tap room (ie, liquor store with attached saloon) in Rogers Park, a neighborhood in Chicago that epitomizes what Seattle would like to be: diverse (one of the most diverse census tracts in America, in terms of race, ethnicity and class), densely populated (a mix of single-family homes, some of which have mother-in-law apartments, small mutli-unit buildings, two three and six-flats, and large buildings with lots of apartments for immigrants and young people just starting out and the poor), and well-served by public transportation.

As I write these words, scores of people are streaming out of the Loyola Red Line station on their way home. In Chicago, we have something like that Monorail you all almost got, except our trains require two rails. Let’s cal it the Duo-rail

And today, I rode my bicycle 26 miles from the far South Side to the far North Side, along Chicago’s billiard-table flat geography on bike streets well-signed and paths created by our great bicycle advocacy group, I thought of how sad it is that Seattle wants to be a real city so bad but cannot quite pull it off. Gotta pay for that Monorail? Boohoohoo. Had I gotten a flat tire, I could have brought my bike on any number of trains that would have gotten me back here for this online event. Run some fucking rails down the middle of I-5, why don’t you?

Graffiti of the Day

posted by on October 1 at 3:28 PM


Seattle vs. Chicago

posted by on October 1 at 9:52 AM

Rex Grossman today:


Rex Grossman at approximately 8:38 pm PST:


Tonight: A Bears fan slogging from a bar in Chicago vs. a Seahawks fan slogging from behind his bong in Seattle. It all starts at 5:30 pm.