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Wednesday, September 6, 2006

The Fabulous Baker Bus

Posted by on September 6 at 11:32 AM

Turns out dogs aren’t the only ones chowing down on pot. Today also brings a delightful I, Anonymous confession from someone who calls him- or herself the Bong Smokin’ Metro Driver:

Hi there. I’m your friendly Metro bus driver. I also smoke a ton of pot. Not on the job, of course, and not really a ton. More like a pound or so a year. Some of you have a drink after work, I smoke bong hits. For over a decade now I’ve been driving you around King County without incident and have managed to achieve a nearly flawless safety record. The morning, the evening and the middle of the night. From the Rainier Valley to Magnolia to Issaquah to the Aurora Village Transit Center and all points in between. Microsoft commuters and little old ladies and downtown worker bees and crackheads and all sorts of other spun-out motherfuckers. I’ve smiled at all of you and given all of you a ride. And I didn’t give you a hard time that day you were short a few cents (or dollars) for the fare or you forgot your bus pass. And I waited for you that time you were running to catch the bus. And I’ve made your trips on the bus soooooo smoooth and pleasant that a lot of you have taken the time to call or email Metro to tell them what a wonderful driver I am. And I can assure you that I am only one of hundreds of us drivers who smoke just about every day. You can tell who we are; we’re the mellow and friendly ones. Don’t worry. You are in good hands. We’ll get you there!

While I was writing this post, I received an email/press release from the office of King County Executive Ron Sims:

Seniors and people with disabilities living in King County will have better transportation options thanks to a fleet of new passenger vans going into service today. King County Metro Transit obtained the 21 new passenger vans with a $906,000 state grant and is donating them to eight local agency partners involved in Metro’s Community Access program.

Hurrah! Stoners driving buses is cool, but stoners driving vans is how God meant it to be…

CommentsRSS icon

It SUCKS that a nice person like this could have his or her life wrecked if The Man decides to give him or her a random drug test. All because white people don't make money off weed.

Yeah, I don't quite know if I buy this e-mail. All bus drivers are subject to federal random drug tests administered by the state, not by the employer, and if anything--ANYTHING--is found in their system... BLAM! The contents of your locker are in that cardboard box over there, sir.

At a former job in a former state, I had a class B license driving tour buses, and a co-worker was let go after getting caught by a random. According to him, he had only "been at a party with a bit of smoke."

A friend of mine has driven for Metro for about 15 years or so, and he told me ages ago that the "random drug tests" aren't really THAT random; i.e., you get about two weeks notice - just long enough to clean out your system prior to turning in your pee.

I drive for Metro. The random tests are truly random- you show up for work and instead of getting behind the wheel, surprise! Management immediately sends you to a clinic to pee in a cup and blow into a breathalyzer. Also, they can give you a "reasonable suspicion" test. Any driver who has lasted 10 years is truly lucky.

That is like, so, like wow man.

Metro Access is reviled by many disabled and elderly persons in Seattle. Metro charges these poor disabled a relative assload of money to use Access, so it's often more feasible for them to roll or stagger 10 blocks down the street and catch the bus like everyone else. They consider it insulting when a driver recommends they use the Access service, because of the suggestion's condescending nature and the reason I listed above.

Also, as for the random bus driver testing, I dunno. Usually to pot usage I say live and let live, but I'd like my bus driver to be fully alert and sharp.

I think the Metro Maintenance Guy of the year is HOT! I love his picture on the bus. I'd smoke out with him.

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