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Thursday, September 21, 2006


Posted by on September 21 at 10:29 AM

From Raw Story:

According to two conservative websites, White House political strategist Karl Rove has been promising GOP insiders that there will be an “October surprise” before the midterm elections.

“In the past week, Karl Rove has been promising Republican insiders an ‘October surprise’ to help win the November congressional elections,” reports Ronald Kessler for Newsmax.

Any guesses what Rove’s “October surprise” will be? Also: Just how lame will the Democrats’ response be?

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Why, a strategic nuke strike on Iran, of course!

They've had Osama Bin Laden in an undisclosed location for the past four months and plan to "find" him in mid-October.

Something has to be blown up.

Gotta go with the classics: Iran.

A good response would be proactive. Get talking heads out there discussing the likelihood of an October surprise, speculating about what it might be. Then when it happens, you just say "See, we told you."

Laura has breast cancer. Surprise!
Iraq was just a dream and we never went. Surprise!
Obama is Osama. Surprise!

Attention Citizens of Oceania! This is a HomeSec Newsflash:

Your Preznit has foiled a terrorist plot of terrifying terror by the hordes of Eastasia.

Confessions and executions to follow.

Terror! Terror! Terror!

All hail Big Bush!

The Yankees get swept from the ALDS? Oh, I guess that might not be too surprising.

Then I'll guess something to do with forged pictures of a Hilary Clinton demi-penis?

"PRESIDENT FINDS CLUE ON WHITE HOUSE LAWN: Missing For Six Years: Was Looking For Halloween Eggs"

President Bush and Vice-President Cheney will announce they are gay lovers. But against gay marriage.

"(Washington-FOX) In a stunning 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court opened it's annual October session by ruling that the Bush Administration may legally suspend all national elections until victory is declared in "The War On Terror (tm)".

In his statement for the majority, Justice Antonin Scalia declared, "so long as it is clear that the threat of Islamofascism hangs over our heads, we find it only just and proper that all Constitutional protections be temporarily (heh-heh) set aside to allow this Administration to pursue its goals unfettered by whiney Liberal insistance on adherence to such quaint and outmoded notions such as "due process", "rule of law", and "representational democracy".

Reached for comment, House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi stated, "While we regret this unprecedented and egregious usurpation of power by the Executive Authority, nevertheless, we feel more time is needed to fully examine the ramifications of such a drastic remedy before - ", at which point she was wrestled to the ground by DHS Special Forces and renditioned to an undisclosed location for "questioning"."

Anybody remember when he said this in 2004?

I remember everyone (Democratic Base) was freaked out because he said there was this great surprise, but all it did was give hope to the GOP base.

Could he really have a surprise? More than likely it's nothing, since I don't remember anything other than the "wolves lurking in the woods" ad they ran.

True ADZ, but don't forget that Osama appeared out of nowhere for the first time in a long time the Friday right before the election. That's a big freakin' surprise, even though no one really payed attention to him because the election was so close.

I predict it will be Osama.

In late October 2006, Bush will announce he has sent some of our pitiful 20,000 US troops in Afghanistan to capture Osama, against the (pretend) objections of Pakistan. There will be pics of riots in urban Pakistan, lots of explosions, and much ado.

In the end, when the operation ends on November 15, 2006, we will have successfully killed many children, a few women, and 1000 suspected Taliban and al-Qaeda (easily determined because they will be dressed in Pakistani clothes and be men, kind of like Driving While Black).

Osama will be declared to be dead.

In 2007, Osama will announce his successful attack on the port cities of the USA, using nuclear suitcase bombs floated into Dubai-operated ports. The resulting fear will be used to justify the requirement that all Americans present their passports while travelling between cities and make stiff armed salutes of Hail Bush! in front of large Crosses hung from all federal buildings.


The Republicans can't capture Osama because they will not survive politically without him.

He's a focal point for the hate and fear felt by the slack-jawed, mouth breathers of this country who might (but probably not) become cognizant of the fact that Bush and the Repubs have engineered a massive scam that has shifted the nation's assets to the very wealthiest Americans while eviscerating the middle class.

They must have Osama around to make sure all those housewives in Nebraska are too afraid to ask for healthcare because they're convinced they're going to die in a terrorist attack.

They'll get Al-Qaida's #2 man, Osama's right-hand man. Again. What have they gotten now, 16 of them? Jeebus, Osama must have more right hands than a Hindu goddess.

Your continued insistence that DP World, which operates 19 of the largest ports in the world, including Vancouver, Hong Kong, Shanghai, and Germersheim, and owns among other things P & O, is likely to permit or even encourage the shipment of nuclear bombs through their facilities, is racist and nativist to the core. It is the same position held by Bill Frist. Most US ports are already operated by foreign companies. This is the world. Get used to it.

I'm just saying they've been inflitrated, Fnarf, as history will prove to have been correct.

You can live in your safe civilian-blinkered Bush-believing world - I'm just going on my time in service and how skilled terrorists operated then. Knowing how easy such things tend to be.

Going out on a limb here, I think these groups got lucky on september 11th. If they were serious about, or capable of, killing large numbers of Americans, they would have succeeded already.

Hell, I'll give one obvious scenario: Infect willing suicide attackers with a communicable and deadly disease with a long-ish incubation period. Hand the infected attackers tickets to airports worldwide and let them hop from plane to plane as terrorists, infecting all their fellow passangers. They die. A week or two later, millions die worldwide.

In truth, barring some nhilistic Samson-esq bring-down-the-temple-on-our-heads sort of attack, it's nearly impossible to kill large numbers of Americans. Far more of us are going to die of potato chips, car accidents, cancer and domestically-produced homicides than this group ever will accomplish.

I'm so tired of people irrationally freaking out about the real risk here. This UAE port stuff is a perfect example. The UAE is a nearly perfect capitolist heaven, with a large leisure class supported by a sea of indentured servants. They'd be as likely to attack us as, say, Bermuda.

My vote? Saddam's conviction and execution at his trial

The Democratic presidential candidate will come off as a weak little douchebag with little credibility.

Except there is no presidential race this year and Rove forgot. Heh, whoops. Getting senile in his later years.

re: Golob's point... yes. Look at a shopping mall and how open it is. If terrorists were legit, they'd have bombed or suicide bombed every major mall in America 10 times by now. Large festivals like Bumbershoot? ANY festival? Dude. It's too easy to kill Americans by the gross and it hasn't happened, save for some airport and transit plots, which are some of the most painfully obvious points for security and scrutiny in the country.

The terrorist threat is wildly exaggerated. And this discounts the efforts of the subversive CIA, FBI and Secret Service. Hell, 9/11 happened with their knowledge because they LET IT.

Karl Rove will unrobe in public and perform "Pump Up The Jam".


That aspect of the BushCo. strategy has always reminded me of some real-world variant on the old "Prisoner" TV series: every week there's a "new Number 2", who gets caught or killed, only to be replaced the following week by yet another "new Number 2".

It's a game that can be perpetuated indefinitely, and always leaves the more gullible among us with the impression that "well, if they just caught the No. 2 guy, they should be just around the corner from catching #1." But, as Andrew pointed out, they can't really allow that to happen, because then it would leave the rubes with the impression that "hey, mission accomplished!", at which point they might actually start wondering: But, if we've caught the #1 guy, why do we still have the Terror Alerts, the DHS, Gitmo, and our boys and girls in uniform coming home in coffins?

And we can't have THAT, now, can we?

To Comte:

Hooray, someone actually got my reference! I was thinking of the Prisoner, too.

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