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Monday, September 11, 2006

Reflections on HUMP!

Posted by on September 11 at 11:33 AM

Like a whole bunch of other people, this weekend I attended HUMP!, The Stranger’s second annual amateur porn competition at Northwest Film Forum. I’ve seen plenty of porn, and even been inside one or two old-timey “adult cinemas”; nevertheless, attending HUMP! provided me with several new life experiences.

1. Seeing someone I kinda know in a porn movie. (I met grand prize winner Bo Logan when he appeared in Pizzazz!, the Stranger talent show, as masked emo superhero Great Guy, and I never would’ve guessed what a love machine he is.)

2. Seeing a porno that made me laugh so hard I repeatedly snorted like a hog. (The use of the Mousetrap game in “How to Get a Leg Up in Porn” deserves the comedy equivalent of the Nobel Prize.)

3. Peeking between my fingers at a screenful of something—male ejaculate? female ejaculate? rubber cement?—dripping out of a Pirate Damsel’s vagina. (There’s nothing more to say.)

But the most impressive element of the evening was the crowd. Porn isn’t something you usually watch communally, and porn viewers rarely watch porn that isn’t specifically to their liking. At HUMP, every audience member was sure to see something that was ostensibly up his or her alley, along with a few things he or she had never been exposed to before and might rather die before seeing again. The group experience—laughing, gasping in amazement, sitting silently in stricken horror—was really odd and wonderful and somewhat revolutionary-feeling. (That’s a terrible hyphenate phrase, but hopefully those who were there know what I mean.)

Thanks to all the filmmakers—even the freak who underscored his gang bang with John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero” and the L.A. cowgirls who did shots of come—and confidential to the creator of “Jacking Off”: Your film is brilliant, and should be seen by millions. Since it features no actual people, any chance you might let us post it on Slog? Let me know…

P.S. It’s true—the “Lawnboy” wang was huge huge HUGE! However, in my humble, thug-loving opinion, the hottest dude in HUMP 2 was the porch-humper in “Bois.” Hubba hubba…

CommentsRSS icon

my favorite moment of the night:

the flat and unforgettable drawl of "Show me your star, Jessie."

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