In the midst of my womanly ranting about Neil LaBute’s misogynistic bee obsession, I totally forgot to mention all the other silly shit in his remake of The Wicker Man. Luckily, my pal Jeff was right there with this spot-on, funny blog post, entitled “Aaah! My legs!”

While no studio movie in this day and age could possibly match the utter musical weirdness of the original, this is still an awfully goofy movie, punctuated regularly by Nic Cage basically admitting as much. When his cop character opens a child’s desk to find a trapped, angry bird, Cage exclaims “WHAT?!?” in a way that suggests that no one told the actor there was a bird in there. That exclamation is only matched by his cry of “Goddammit!” when he realizes he’s just dreamed a double fake-out (you know, he thinks he woke up from a nightmare but then he’s STILL IN THE NIGHTMARE and then he wakes up for real). Eventually Cage just decides the best solution would be to just punch everyone, which is especially funny once he’s dressed in a bear suit.

For the record, the “everyone” on the receiving end of Nic’s punching fist? Mostly old ladies. And “Aaah! My legs! MY LEGS!” is—if I remember correctly—Cage’s final line in the movie.

One mostly-unrelated sidenote:
At the Wicker Man screening I attended (10pm, Oak Tree), a twentysomething couple behind me exchanged the following words.
Girl: “Are you gonna chew?”
Guy: “Yeah.”
Girl: “How’d you feel about spitting into my water bottle, so it doesn’t smell?”
I assume he felt good about that, as I smelled nothing. I can only imagine how close that used chew-bottle was to my hair.