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Thursday, September 21, 2006

Counting the Seconds…

Posted by on September 21 at 7:04 AM

With the help of the Tony-winning composers behind the smash musical Urinetown, Joe Esterhasz is turning Showgirls into a musical.

In the words of my best friend Mindy (she who introduced me to the film in the first place): “The only thing that could make the pool scene any better is singing.”

With Gina Gershon already on board, Showgirls: The Musical is set to open in Las Vegas sometime in the future, and certainly not soon enough…

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This is going to be the best Vegas show ever conceived! I hope they bring you on as a consultant.
Up until now, my favorite way to watch Showgirls was with the Spanish dub on. It's like watching the world's dirtiest telemundo soap. The passion the voice over actress gives Liz Berkley's lines makes her performance somewhat dimensional. You can't beat the intensity of a cat fight in Spanish. “Soy un bailarín!” My hands will be busting into the famed face front, criss cross move all weekend just thinking about this show.

I have palpitations. This is the most exciting project I've heard about in perhaps YEARS. Oh dear God. The costumes! The intimate "I ate dog food" lunch at Ceasar's Forum! The rouge-nippled kung-fu ass-kicking of Michael Bolton!!! Aaaargh!!!!

I have to lie down.

I KNOW!!! God knows if it'll really come to fruition (please God, please), but if it does, it would be so awesome to arrange some sort of chartered-bus excursion from Seattle...

OMG! Can we buy tickets now? Should I start looking for cheap flights to Vegas! OH this show can only RULE with singing! Gina Gershon TOO?? Oh Mark I am with you.

I need to lie down now.

I have to disagree. I don't think the movie could possibly be improved upon, and singing is likely to ruin it. Plus, they'll probably have to hire competent actors, which will spoil a lot of the effects. And, if there's singing, where are the uncomfortable silences going to come from? It'll be camp, but it won't be better. It's already perfect.

I can just hear some of the song titles now: "Girls, What's With the Pole Smell? (Can We Have a Little Hygiene Here?)"

Did Gina Gershon have to fuck Joe Esterhasz for THAT part too?

I don't think the musical will improve on the film, but it can't help but be a magical, thrill-making train wreck all its own.

I will make a trip to Vegas for this mofo, with a side-trip to VERSACE.

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