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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Today’s Animal: the Invading Jellyfish

Posted by on August 10 at 10:49 AM

They have an improbable, but beautiful, life cycle.

A group of jellyfish is called a smack.

You can eat themóslice and marinate the jelly bits, serve with sesame seeds and green onionsóbut you should know that they shit out of their mouths.

They are spineless. And brainless. And, thanks to global warming, they are infesting the Mediterranean. And clogging English canals. Some of the deadly ones are drifting around Rhode Island. And killing tourists in China. And starving sturgeon in the Caspian Sea: no more caviar.

Clearly, something must be done. Where is the president during the great jellyfish crisis? Battling crickets and cameras in Crawford.

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Shit out of their mouths? Kind of like the neo-cons then huh?

Whatever we do, our President MUST NOT allow a Jellyfish-gap! We must increase our jellied resources, and fight the aqua-terrorists.

Last year i cam accross an article with pics about jelly fish in the sea of Japan (i think) that are HUGE. They were about the size of one of those smart cars, no exageration. True sea life is better than anything science fiction can imagine.

I was fascinated by jellyfish as a kid, after I got the living shite stung out of me at Lincoln Park by another little kid who started whacking them to bits with sticks on the beach. Um, the little bits that land on you sting, too. I used to see them from the ferry, and being the type of pedantic child who could read a number of words she did not know how to pronounce, would always call out excitedly, "there's another of those orgasms in the water!" (I did not know how to pronounce 'organism'.)

Mein Fuhrer! I can undulate! I can undulate!

serves us right for overfishing to the point where once-abundant species are now endangered. the seas are fighting back. far scarier than the jelly situation is the increase in poisonous algae/seaweed. check a primeval tide of toxins and prepare to shudder.

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