Slog - The Stranger's Blog

Line Out

The Music Blog

« Peter Jennings, One Year Later | Colin Farrell: If He Can't Ple... »

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Santorum Is Coming To Town

Posted by on August 8 at 16:00 PM

Santorum At the Bat.jpg

The Northwest Talibani at the misleadingly named Faith and Freedom Network—shouldn’t that “and” be an “or”?—is hosting a fundraiser for U.S. Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) a week from Thursday in Bellevue. (Check out FAFN’s creepy logo. Is that cross superimposed on the Constitution? Or burned into it?)

Area Republicans willing to cough up $1000—and area PACs willing to cough up $2500—will have a chance to lunch with the man who made “man on dog” a national catchphrase. The fundraiser is Thursday, August 17, at 11:45 AM at Daniel’s Broiler, located at 10500 Northeast 8th, 21st Floor, in Bellevue. Rick Santorum is currently trailing his Democratic challenger, Bob Casey, by 13 points, and needs all the help—and $1000 checks—he can get.

Still… I wonder if lunch with Santorum is worth it? Odds are good that Santorum won’t be in the Senate next year, so I’m not sure that many fiscally conservative area Republicans are gonna fork out $1000 for the pleasure of watching Sen. Santorum slowly chew his steak, gradually reducing the seared flesh to a brown and liquidy substance, fit for swallowing.

Of course, thanks to the efforts of a certain local sex-advice columnist, Senator Santorum’s name is now forever associated with another brown, liquidy substancethat frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes a byproduct of anal sex. (Actually it’s more of an amber substance, or so I’ve been told.) We understand that the Senator is not amused by any of this, and we suspect that the Faith & Freedom Network isn’t too pleased either.

They would be even less amused, I bet, if a bunch of protestors showed up at Daniel’s Broiler to welcome Santorum to town. Just a thought.

CommentsRSS icon

Here is the menu for the event:

goose liver pate smeared on crackers


rump roast with brown gravy

w/ chocolate shakes for all

If only there was some way to sneak some "complementary" containers of lube into the centerpiece arrangements for each table....

"Pass the salt, please...oh...what manner of condiment is this?"

I wish I could get in. Any Republicans out there need a date? A ticket to Santorum's local fundraiser—$1000. A picture of me and Santorum together—priceless.

Hey all you super religious Seattle people. Christians don't want our kids to learn evolution, and Jews don't want our kids to have foreskins. Isn't religion great? God tells some Jews to suck the blood of the mutilated genitles of baby boys.

Check out the wikipedia posting-

Funny politician name definitions are the way to show these politico's what the people really think. Santorum was a good start. Let's all do what we can to get new definitions out there. Please add this Lieberman definition to your dictionary. -

Santorum - That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes a byproduct of anal sex.

Lieberman - noun - A clot of blood than forms on an infant's penis if the Rabbi doesn't suck the blood away quick enough. -- The Rabbi used his tongue to dislodge the Lieberman that had formed on the penis. (There are three stages required for the performance of a ritually correct circumcision in Jewish law: the removal of the foreskin; the tearing of the underlying membraene so as to expose the glans completely; and the sucking away of the blood, m'tsitsah)see-

Ahem: I don't want to feed the trolls, but the Lieberman redefinition is Anti-Semetic, and I reject it.

Also, most Jews—the vast and overwhelming majority—get their kids circumcised the new-fangled way, by Docs, in hospitals.

I thought you media folks could get in free.

Santorum's Faith and Freedom Network promotes Judeo-Christian values. Great. Pro-circumcision and anti-abortion right?

Dan how many U.S. Jews use the rabbi blood sucking method of circumcision? One article says 10,000 per year. Could you do some muck raking and find out if this practice is illegal in Washington State? It's disgusting and should be outlawed.

Dan thanks for standing up for the sacred practice of m'tsitsah. The Torah requires all Jewish boys to be circumcized. Anyone against circumcision is anti-semitic.

Iraq, American politics, circumcision, Lebanon, abortion...

Which of these is not a topic of particular import these days?

My brain is starting to hurt . . .

why don't you take that returned check and put it to good use and see if you can't get your picture taken with him? they probably don't know what you look like.

The Stranger religious humor guide-

Printing muslim cartoons = funny joke

Photos of crucifixion dildo = funny joke

Words about Jewish Circumcision = anti-semitic offence

One person's humor is another person's blasphemy. Making fun of religions you don't believe is OK, but your own religion is off limits.

And all these years I thought The Stranger was secular, not religious like the rest of Seattle.

Since the main news is a new religious war in the Middle East, it is vital to understand the religious bias of media publications. What a publication considers humorous, and what it considers blasphemy is an important clue to bias.

OMG, Is that really the menu? Pate and Chili? Milkshakes and rump roast? I hope those repubs bring the malox, because that list is nauseating just to look at.

Dan the New York Times says 12,000 old school circumsisions have been performed recently. (Where the Rabbi sucks out the blood with his mouth) Why is this legal? Can we get it outlawed in Washington State?

Hey, we print Jewish jokes all the time. Please see Steve Humphrey's slog post today. Over and out.

Anyone want to talk about crashing Santorum's visit? Nah, not now—not now that the trolls have taken over. Cut cocks! Cut cocks! Cut cocks!

trolls aside, i still think the irony of using the returned check to go to his dinner would be totally worth it. but only if you can get a picture, otherwise it'd be a waste.

ooh ooh! can we throw water balloons, but fill them with lube instead? or chocolate pudding?


I already sent the Casey camp's check to Philly Against Santorum...

But like I said, if there's an R who doesn't think much of Rick but is going to the fundraiser anyway—under, say, duress (lots of folks go to fundraisers out of a sense of obligation to a boss or a relative)—I would love to be your date. But I can't see writing a $1000 check for Santorum myself.

can't you write them a fake check, on behalf of the Fudge PAC?

i'm sure some graphic artist in your office could fabricate a fun approximation...

We need a big pink bus filled with drag queens. We really, really do.

Come out, Rick, come out! You're not fooling anyone, not after the Fascist Easter-egg outfit.

Resistance is futile! You WILL be assimilated. It says so on my copy of the Gay Agenda.

Dan, thanks for keeping the discussion on point. This post was about Christian Conservatives not Jewish Conservatives.

I find comments and jokes about the sacred Jewish ritual of sucking blood of the infants circumcized penis to be highly anti-semitic. This ritual is thousands of years old and we've been able to keep it out of the press. Christians are simply too ignorant to understand it's importance.

Santorum is just such a Christian idiot. I love your definition for his name, and loved hearing Jon Stewart mention it. But please delete these anti-semitic Lieberman postings. Lieberman is an Orthodox Jew and would be deeply hurt to read this hateful, anti-semitic definition for his name.

I agree. The Stranger's posting of photos of crucifixion dildos is not offensive to any real Christian. But many, many, Jews would be deeply hurt by the hateful, anti-semitic postings here. Sucking the blood of the circumcized infant penis is an important, sacred act of deep religious significance. Making jokes about a Rabbi enjoying licking the blood, or chewing a blood clot like a piece of gum are sick and anti-semitic. Thank you Dan for refusing to joke about Metzitzah. People who are not Jewish simply cannot grasp the importance of the Rabbi sucking the penis blood.

For any non-Jews who want to know more, Winkipedia explains it better than I ever could.

Let's get a pink bus full of Drag queens and a tub full of lube. We can butt fuck in front of that Christian Conservative and then smear the resulting Santorum on his limosine windows. That'll really show him that Seattle's gay men are a political force to be reckoned with. Then we can dance on the sidewalk because - if I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution.

Too bad this post took a turn for the retarded...(offense intended).

Dan, if you find a way in it would be hot as hell.

Maybe Dianne Feinstein would let me borrow $1K..she probably wouldn't mind giving him dough...then I'd go with you.

I'll let you know what she says...

Dan ignore the retards. I'd love to smear shit on Santorum's limosine windows. A nice frothy mix of shit and crisco delivered by a pack of drag queens is the perfect Seattle welcome for this Christian Conservative. I hate all Christians and Santorum's one of the worst. I'd choose a frothy mix of lube and shit instead of a Christian any day.

Mozel Tov Dan, the thread is back on point.

Some are saying the blood sucking circumcision should be banned because it's gross. That's silly.

However, it should be banned for health reasons. There's a risk of infecting the infant with Herpes, which can be fatal in infants.

(There's no proof an alcohol rinse prevents herpes transmission. An indirect method, like a tube, could be used instead.)

Hey Dan,

Is there any way you could get a photo of yourself and Santorum as he's leaving or entering the fundraiser? You could pretend to be his biggest fan and supporter or some such bullshit.

"Dan thanks for standing up for the sacred practice of m'tsitsah. The Torah requires all Jewish boys to be circumcized. Anyone against circumcision is anti-semitic."

I'm not anti-semitic, but I AM anti-genital mutilation.

why is Santorum fundraising in Seattle for an PA election?

It took 31 comments before someone (thanks, Mike in Mo.) asked the salient question. Don't go, Dan. It sounds like a set-up to me.

Dan go with your army of drag queens and smear frothy shit on Santorum's limosine. That'll show him not to mess with our most important Seattle political commentator. We'll be there for you Dan. Please go!

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).