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Monday, August 21, 2006

Osama and Whitney, Sittin’ in a Tree…

Posted by on August 21 at 14:28 PM

According to a new book by novelist and former Osama bin Laden sex slave Kola Boof, the terrorist who masterminded the 9/11 attack was also TOTALLY obsessed with Whitney Houston! So much so, in fact, he considered murdering Bobby Brown.
The World Trade Center is one thing… but putting a hit on Bobby “My Prerogative” Brown??



In her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, she writes: “He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.”

Boof, 37, who claims bin Laden raped her and held her prisoner in a Moroccan hotel, says he could not stop talking about the songbird, even though he disapproved of music.

“He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston,” Koof wrote, “and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar.

“He explained to me that to possess Whitney he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives.

“Whitney Houston’s name was the one that would be mentioned constantly: How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed.”

And as a sidenote: Not only did bin Laden reportedly love reading Star magazine and Playboy, his fave TV shows “included The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver.”

Terrorists… So much like us!

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he just wanted to be her bodyguard after seeing the horrible movie of which we shall not speak (with that terrible song of which i will not think)

Can we work a deal here? Osama gets Whitney if he shuts down Al Qaeda? Sounds like a win-win. Thing is, I don't know if Whitney would be happy in a place with lots of heroin but no cocaine at all.

Hey, let's sweeten the pot! We'll throw in Bush and Cheney and Rove, but he has to keep them.

Nah, she can get Indian but Peruvian might not play over there.

Bobby ain't gonna let nobody fuck with him though. Shit, recognize game.

"That's it! Now I ain't drunk no more!"

Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about 9/11 being the fault of the incompetence of the Bush Administration (failed intelligence, general laziness, etc), but I think we all know the real culprit.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Richard Dean Anderson has been counseling young people to be terrorists for an entire generation now (with syndication and all). Would this new liquid bomb plot ever have been conceived if ABC had the forethought to shelve MacGyver before that terrorist training school, posing as a one hour action/drama, had a chance to nurture fledgling ne’er-do-wells worldwide? Boycott Nick at Nite until they pledge to make the airwaves safe for clever 11-year-olds with nothing better to do than make a nuclear bomb out of a gum wrapper and a toothpick.

Let's not rush past blaming Chuck Palahniuk and Palladin Press.

Do you think he'd take Janet Jackson--maybe for the Al Qaeda #2 or 3?

wait, just noticed something ... MacGyver!

dude, that explains a lot.

Dude, he can have them both, and al Qaeda can use Bobby as a pinata for all anyone cares.

In return, aQ must refocus their efforts on Bible Belt locales like Crawford, TX and Jerry Falwell's house.

<a href=>erosive esophagitis</a> all about

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