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Friday, August 25, 2006

I Buzz, You Buzz, We All Buzz for iBuzz

Posted by on August 25 at 11:28 AM


This has been around for a while, but this post by Mistress Matisse reminded me of it again: iBuzz, the music-activated orgasm machine.

Using iBuzz is easy! Connect iBuzz to your music player, turn on your favourite tune and let the vibrations take you to heaven. iBuzz vibrates in time to your music so you can get off while getting down. Use the his-and-hers attachments to add extra excitement! Turn him into a vibrator with the stretchy ring and use the soft sleeve for sensitive stimulation.

Now I’m lightly obsessed with what songs would be most gratifying to play on an iBuzz, but I’m not willing to shuck out $60 to find out, so I’m just left to guess.

Most promising options: “Gimme Shelter,” Public Enemy’s “Welcome to the Terrordome,” or any one of those soft-n-pretty-then-furious-n-noisy tunes by Nine Inch Nails. (Thelonius Monk would probably be memorable as well.)

Least promising options: the Muzac-classic “Popcorn,” and Tori Amos’ “Me and a Gun.”

Get your iBuzz here.

CommentsRSS icon

I would think anything build-ey and shoegazey by Ride.

I'm thinking lotsa Prince would be in order. . .

The Eagles Of Death Metal, definitely.

Anything by Slayer

Sounds a lot like the Rez Vibrator for PS2.

The erratic rhythmic pulse and down-tuned subsonic roar of Meshuggah would probably make your crotch explode.

The Butthole Surfers seem singularly appropriate. Though I shudder to think what "Creep in the Cellar" would do to your nervous system.

LOL. Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back". Just the thought of JT with an iBuzz up his ass makes me want to cream. *chortle*

Satisfaction by Benni Benassi. (I can't spell his name, but oh well)

Big Drop by Black Dice

Big Drop by Black Dice

A Polka

Miami booty bass, obviously.

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