Can't you just hook them up with Wm. Steven Humphrey?

I believe there are regular tours given of the chimp lab (where they do sign language) in Ellensburg at CWU. Maybe something can be arranged that way?

um, hey guys, let's not create human-animal hybrids, ok?

http://www.cwu.edu/~cwuchci/visitor_information.html

Q. Does anyone ever go into the enclosure with the chimpanzees?

A. NO! No one is allowed inside the enclosure with the chimpanzees. Humans and chimpanzees do not make good physical companions. Chimpanzees are not only five-to-seven times stronger than humans (eight-to-ten times stronger in their upper bodies alone), they also have denser bones and thicker skin. In all types of interactions, chimpanzees must restrain themselves to avoid hurting humans. In play, chimpanzees regularly throw, slap and playbite each other. These actions elicit laughter among chimpanzees but humans would be hurt. If there was only one chimpanzee and no companions our role would be different; we would provide social interactions without touching or going into the enclosure. However, these chimpanzees always have each other for play, grooming or snuggling. Their bond with one another is very strong and separation is very stressful. The chimpanzees' human companions do interact through the wire mesh when the chimpanzees solicit tickling, chase games, grooming or other contact -- without ever putting their fingers or hands into the chimpanzees' enclosures.

Q. How do the chimpanzees react to visitors?

A. Each chimpanzee reacts differently to visitors and the reaction of each chimpanzee changes from day to day. At times, they appear interested in the visitors and may come to the window to sign and interact. At other times, they may be resting or interacting with each other. Much like humans, they are not always ready for guests. We have found that limiting the length of observation time helps reduce the chimpanzees' stress level.

someone read ishmael or something?

Read up on the Humanzee. It's rumored to have already happened.

you know, I'll bet they sometimes have temporary employees to cover for when people take vacations. one could check into that ...

looks like Annie did some research and it's posted on SLOG above this one.

Be sure to read up on what happen to St. James Davis when his pet chimp, Moe, got shipped off to a monkey orphanage after biting off the tip of a cop's finger. St. James and the family brought Moe a b-day cake one day and the other chimps attacked St. James and ripped off his face and testicles. Google them shits. I'm not kidding.

The CWU vacility is AWESOME and well worth visiting and supporting. The contact witht he chips is very limited, though.