We were half convinced that we would have to call off the first HUMP on the day the tapes were due. At 9 AM, we had just six submissions. But by the end of the day we had more than fifty films. We had amateur straight porn, lesbian porn, bisexual porn, “incest porn,â€�cupcake porn, and pirate-vs-ninja porn.

What we didn’t have, sadly, was much—or really any—gay porn. There was a tiny bit of boy-on-boy action in one of the videos (thank God for you and your crew, D. B.), but the action in that particular film was more poly/bi/free-for-all than specifically gay—and the gay scene was short and was cut in with the hetero and lesbo sex scenes that dominated the film. There simply weren’t any films that featured hot gay boys engaging in hot gay action.

There were, however, tons of hot gay boys and men in the audience at HUMP—hell, I would estimate the audiences at HUMP were at least 1/3 gay. The gay guys who came to HUMP left the screenings looking a little distressed—what gay man wouldn’t be after sitting through two hours of hard-core straight and lesbian sex?—and some of them complained to me about the lack of gay action. I remember one particularly good-looking, 20-something gay guy who demanded to know where the gay films were.

“Well, did you make a film?â€� I asked him.

“No,â€� he replied, looking scandalized.

“Then don’t bitch,â€� I said. “Make one for next year’s festival.”

I told that pretty boy—I told all the disappointed gay men at HUMP last year—to take some responsibility for the lack of gay action on the screen. Gay men were free to make and submit films, but none did. Lesbians made films—lots of films! hot films!—and straights made films—lots of films! hot films!—and bisexuals made films. If gay men want to see hot gay films at HUMP, then gay men have to make them.

Last week a gay friend told me that some of his gay friends were making porn for HUMP—good news! Then yesterday the same friend told me that his gay friends chickened out—bad news!

Come on, faggots! Are you really going to let the lesbians show you up again this year?

There are still three weeks left to go before films are due—the deadline for submissions is Monday August 21. Full-length porn classic Deep Throat was shot in just five days, so three weeks is plenty of time to bust out eight minutes of gay porn! If you don’t want to be sitting the theater watching a lot hetero and lesbo action, gay boys, then get on the stick.

And remember: You don’t have to make hardcore porn to get your film in HUMP—it can be erotica, it can be animation, it can be puppets. Hell, you don’t even have to show anyone naked to make a sexy film—check out this short film from YouTube: