Trash Dr. Drew and I are through
The ire of my officemates was raised when a Flash advertisement suddenly began playing the comfortingly deadpan voice of Dr. Drew talking about Erectile Dysfunction.
For many years I have allotted Dr. Drew (of Loveline fame) immense respect for his ability to telepathically read past abuses over the phone and be the advice-laden father figure to so many mentally and sexually dysfunctional 13 year-olds. My fanatical, semi-humorous assertion that Dr. Drew is always correct is well known among my friends. A conversation between a friend and myself would commonly end as such:
Me: Did you hear that you can still get herpes even if you wear a condom while having sex with a kitten?
Friend: No, that doesn’t make a lot of sense, where did you hear that?
Me: Dr. Drew, so he must be right.
Friend: Well, that’s nothing like I’ve heard.
Me: Dr. Drew said so and he is God.
Now Dr. Drew has sold his soul to Viagra. Seriously, Dr. Drew, I put up with your plugs for the blatantly Christian organization Alcoholics Anonymous (and similar orgs such as Narc Anon) that you so lovingly call Al-Anon (fledgling terrorist organization?) but this is it Dr. Drew. Congratulations on taking money from pharmaceuticals like Pfizer who spend more money on advertising (to convince industrialized countries that they need more prescription drugs) than on research and development. Companies that bribe our doctors with free goodies and vacations. Or we can narrow it down to just Pfizer, who killed African children by testing drugs on non-consenting patients, almost like something out of the movies. What it really boils down to is Dr. Drew is taking money from a Fictional Person who cares more about making money and making American dicks hard than patient’s livelihoods or defeating global illnesses.
Dr. Drew, you are dead to me.