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Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Dr. Drew and I are through

Posted by on August 9 at 18:26 PM

The ire of my officemates was raised when a Flash advertisement suddenly began playing the comfortingly deadpan voice of Dr. Drew talking about Erectile Dysfunction.

For many years I have allotted Dr. Drew (of Loveline fame) immense respect for his ability to telepathically read past abuses over the phone and be the advice-laden father figure to so many mentally and sexually dysfunctional 13 year-olds. My fanatical, semi-humorous assertion that Dr. Drew is always correct is well known among my friends. A conversation between a friend and myself would commonly end as such:

Me: Did you hear that you can still get herpes even if you wear a condom while having sex with a kitten?
Friend: No, that doesn’t make a lot of sense, where did you hear that?
Me: Dr. Drew, so he must be right.
Friend: Well, that’s nothing like I’ve heard.
Me: Dr. Drew said so and he is God.

Now Dr. Drew has sold his soul to Viagra. Seriously, Dr. Drew, I put up with your plugs for the blatantly Christian organization Alcoholics Anonymous (and similar orgs such as Narc Anon) that you so lovingly call Al-Anon (fledgling terrorist organization?) but this is it Dr. Drew. Congratulations on taking money from pharmaceuticals like Pfizer who spend more money on advertising (to convince industrialized countries that they need more prescription drugs) than on research and development. Companies that bribe our doctors with free goodies and vacations. Or we can narrow it down to just Pfizer, who killed African children by testing drugs on non-consenting patients, almost like something out of the movies. What it really boils down to is Dr. Drew is taking money from a Fictional Person who cares more about making money and making American dicks hard than patient’s livelihoods or defeating global illnesses.

Dr. Drew, you are dead to me.

Brandon Eng
Intern Whore

CommentsRSS icon

Al-Anon is a separate organization from Alcoholics Anonymous. It's for the families of alchohoics, while Alcoholics Anonymous is for the alcholics themselves.

Okay, now back to Dr. Dork-Anon.

I think I understand why you're unpaid...

sounds like this calls for a new topic page on

Dr. Drew is a saint!

I hate Dr. Drew. Every time I listened to or watched Love Line, it was the same thing. A caller would mention liking something other than monogamous, missionary position sex in a long term relationship, and he'd ask if the caller was molested as a child. It pissed me off.

I was going to write almost exactly what Gitai wrote. Dr. Drew is out of the 1950s, he won't be happy until his listeners are convinced that anything outside vanilla sex is an indication of serious mental illness.

is this the same doctor drew that thinks all sex that isn't missionary is gross? wow? where did you come from unpaid intern?

"blatantly Christian organization Alcoholics Anonymous"

Sigh. Okay, I'll bite. How so?

Can I get a moratorium on the use of the word "vanilla" for "plain"? Vanilla is a flavor, every bit as flavorful as chocolate or raspberry or oreo cookie. Better, in fact; vanilla is easily the BEST flavor in many situations such as ice cream. Vanilla ice cream is NOT plain ice cream. This usage makes me much angrier than Dr. Drew does.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by two Christians who relied on their faith to get sober. AA still has references to religion. Its members are told to seek strength in something bigger than themselves (usually refered to as God) to make it through the program.

Keshmeshi and unpaid intern: can you know any less about alcoholism?

The second step in Alcoholics Anonymous is to acknowledge belief in a higher power. The third is to submit to the will of that higher power so that he/she/it will release you from your addiction. Step five, admit to God your faults. Step six, ask God to remove those faults. Step eleven, prayer and meditation to better know the will of God.

So, it's not necessarily a Christian organization, but it's definitely a religious one. Kurt Vonnegut once called it the best religion in America.

I agree Fnarf... lets just change "Vanilla" to "WITIB" which stands for "what I think is boring" because it's what the people that use the term "vanilla" in connection with sex really think, I think. Which is ok. I like boring.

Oh and by the way I'm probably Un-American because my favourite ice cream is French Vanilla.

That's not un-American; it's simply correct.

Someone at the Stranger offices needs his computer access revoked....

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