Music “Fat People Crying”
For the past two nights, the Key Arena has been filled with the two-headed hydra of country-flavored schlock known as Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s Soul2Soul tour. Along with the married talents of the headliners, the tour brought to Seattle Center a sudden density of schlocky new country lovers, inspiring a number of remarkable eyewitness sightings.
The first comes from my better half Jake, whose summer job at the Children’s Theater puts him in the thick of Seattle Center happenings, and who snapped this photo of an image found on the back of all of Faith Hill’s tour buses:
Clearly it’s supposed to be Ms. Hill—the shoulder-width hair is indisputable proof. Still, if I didn’t know the image was placed on the back of a Faith Hill tour bus, I probably would’ve assumed it was one of those new Jack in the Box silhouettes, with a melted head.
The second sighting came from local comedian Emmett Montgomery, who reported watching a pair of McGraw and Hill fans waddling around with their wiener dog, which was dressed in an American flag sweater, a cowboy hat, and chaps (and goddamn I wish I had a photo of that.)
The final report comes, once more, from Jake, who caught a ride home from Seattle Center with a cabbie whose previous passengers had primarily been Key Arena concertgoers taking post-show cab rides home or to their parked cars. Asked by Jake to characterize the post-show concertgoers, the cabbie was impressively succinct: “Oh, you know—fat people crying.”
Bless you, cabbie.