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Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Colin Farrell: If He Can’t Please a French Woman, Who Can?

Posted by on August 8 at 16:22 PM

According to this hee-larious article in Us Weekly, it appears that hot hunk’o man-meat Colin Farrell is more like a lukewarm slice of baloney in the sack. Here’s the article entitled, “Colin Farrell’s Man-Loaf Not Up to Size.”

Woody Allen’s former au pair, Angelique Jerome, claims she bedded he-ho Colin Farrell just hours before the London premiere of Miami Vice. The 24-year-old French temptress claims the couple met up at his hotel suite at “breakfast-time, and that they made love three times before lunch. “Maybe he has lots of women because he’s not that good in bed,” Jerome told London’s Sunday Mirror. “Maybe they don’t want to stay.” She continued: “He has a great body and a charm that any woman would kill for. But he’s all talk. Between the sheets, he is a letdown with only half a baguette in his lunchbox, if you know what I mean. He comes across as a tiger onscreen, but behind closed doors he’s as wild as Mickey Mouse.” […] “He kept saying `C’est bon (it’s good), you’re beautiful, c’est bon’. He sounded like James Blunt. “We made love three times but the actual sex only lasted 10 minutes in total.” He’s lucky the woman was French and was therefore confined to French bread metaphors. If he’d tangled with an American lass, we might’ve veered into one of those unfortunate hotdog similes, and no one wants to read that.

“Half a baguette is still pretty good… right? Right?”

CommentsRSS icon

Sandwich roll?

Maybe she was the wet blanket, and he couldn't get it up. Edith Massey used to call that a "hollywood loaf"

Wait, so which is it? Is he a sick, twisted puppy or a demi-baguette?

picky like a shot at that baguette.

Make mine "to go" ....

Perhaps there were some dirty French cherry pits in the mix, if you know what I mean.

Um... I don't know what you mean.

Wait a minute - I saw a clip of the CF sex tape that circulated a while back. He's built like a respectable porn star... but his sex chatter would make anyone puke. Maybe he could do silent pornos?

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