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Tuesday, August 1, 2006

But Is There A Gift Registry?

Posted by on August 1 at 13:18 PM

Cartoonist Mikhaela Reid shows us “pre-pregnant” women what to expect…

preexpecting.gif


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Time to buy stock in burqa outfitters.

On the other hand, imagine how many children will never be conceived if women avoid alcohol. Then what will the legislature do to encourage procreation? Banning gay marriage won't be enough damnit! The human species will become endangered, facing extinction!

Remember, if you drink, you're harming the potential pre-baby.

But, if you don't drink, you're less likely to become pregnant and change from pre-pregnant status.

And, if you don't drink, you're uptight and anti-procreation.

And, if you drink, you're a loose woman.

And, if you don't drink, your judgement will be sound and you might not marry that guy in Vegas.

And, if you drink, you might get divorced in Vegas once you realize you're trapped in a soulless marriage for progeny only.

Welcome to the 4th Century, courtesy of the red commie Bushies.

Perhaps a mandatory quarantine for married pre-pregnants' to ensure fertilization and secure the freedom of the fetus to be concieved as soon as possible. Carpe Fetus!

Given that many things also can damage sperm production, when are we going to see some emphasis on males behaving as "pre-parenthood" themselves, like no tight pants, no hot tubs, etc.?

What's that you say? Only the womb matters? It's so nice to know that a hefty percentage of the population sees me as basically a walking flowerpot...

Remember, guns don't kill pre-pregnant people, only over the counter plan B does.

Now, let's all get out our brown shirts and swastikas ... [note, this is called sarcasm, please stop being offended]

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